Show I 1 while walter waiter cheil is la tem temporarily pora rily away from new york his column Is being conducted by guest contributors by HARRY hershfield radio story T teller filer and columnist st value of a painting often depends on whose nail it hangs from norte none of these celebrities have played vaudeville so 10 there is is little danger that their little masterpieces are plagiarisms on the berle jessel school here me are tome some favorite jokes of famous peoples at AL SMITH A citizen attended his first eal cal jamboree he there long before somebody copped his watch he reported it to the district leader who whispered next to which guy was you stand ln last victim pointed to a fellow in the center cente r just doret dont say bothin and be OK 0 K in a utes the leader handed the watch over to its owner what did he say asked the grateful roan man sah sh h h heuiet quiet he dont know I 1 got MAYOR LA GUARDIA tells this one on himself myself I 1 two soviet representatives arrived at city hall instead of the expected and accepted costumes of they wore high hats etc they looked at laguardia ardla in b baggy s every days and all he could say a y wag gentlemen ent lemen I 1 represent the FANNIE A dapper fellow walked into a bakery and ordered a special cake 1 I want it 65 55 inches in diameter nine layers seven colored fro frostings stings in the center I 1 want my initials R N I 1 want it as soon as possible ril rii hove have it for you in a week was the answer on the appointed day ha be called inspected the cake it exactly the way I 1 wa want nt it change the yellow frosting to orchid on the second inspection the fellow fellow was vai delighted perfect perfect where shall I 1 tend send it sir no place IM ill eat it herel berel BERNARD when lionel barrymore was scheduled to appear la in macbeth there was much doubt among new york nork ticket brokers whether to buy in before the opening mcbride was the leading broker AU all the specs were on hand tor for the premier mier lionel floundered through the part then came the big moment his shout lay on Mae Duill came the answer from the rear of the house lay M on mcbridee Mc Bridel JIM PARLEY FARLEY joe louis in the polo grounds finished an opponent in a few seconds of the first round after the victim got in his bis dressing room he say a word he was still out he dressed and his manager escorted him to the street it was raining the pug put out his hand band and moaned gee this wm will hurt the gate receipts oh cracked the manager 1 I forgot to tell you the fight was called off JIMMY WALKER A hillbilly caged on a girt girl for a year finally her father nagged flagged him time I 1 asked you something are your intentions to my daughter honorable or dishonorable you mean I 1 have a choice queried the hillbilly ILKA CHASE A young radical refused to work hit his old man let him have it att fine bum why dont you go to work and make some money aha rm im glad you brought that up come the re revolution and well have a utopia we wont need the moneal money 1 but why dont you go to work and make when it comes the revolution then you can help them wl with th IV it baha aha suppose it dont come the revolution then im studs stuck with 11 MARC CONNOLLY CONNOLL Yf when caesar tried to take ireland he was repulsed by clancy and mmegan caesar returned with more legions again was pushed back julius was now really mad he gath ired ered the full might of his armies mind end navies and started for ireland again this time clancy and finnegan were careless sitting on a raft they were surrounded cap aured after a terrible struggle and brought to the forum as captives caesar threw the pair into the arena against BOO gladiators clancy and finnegan mowed them down caesar burned he ordered them to fight 2000 lions this day the crowd really turned out As caesar and his bis retinue entered the arena clancy pointed see that beautiful blonde with caesar well this morning s she he looked at me end and just then there was a mighty roar sorry finnegan here come tha lions ill have to tell you the rest later PRESIDENT ROOSEVEL ROOS EVELTi Tt ailing gentleman ambled into a doctors office im having trouble with my eyesight and hearing healing are you a drinking man yes doctor th ati it stop drinking at once report to me in si month A month later he reported doe doc I 1 still have trouble with my eyesight I 1 and hearing did you stop drinking as I 1 told you nope hope what ive been drinking is so much better then than what ive been seeing and hearing bearing lately I 1 decided to keep it UPP |