Show kathleen norris says being disagreeable Is a luxury bell service 61 J 1 ol 01 es ife he is soured by being held too tightly irs in a rut by feeling that mary alary and the girls merely want au all the money he can make for pleasures and purchases that mean nothing to him and that the kindest thing he could do for them would be to die and leave them hem the he bis big insurance by kathleen KATHLEEN NORRIS 0 MAKE himself disagreeable TO T is a luxury that costs a husband very little when life goes dull for him or his business is worrisome when he has nothing to remember of his fishing trip but sunburn and an unpaid poker debt when one child has a cold and the mouth of the other is disfigured by dental tai bands then it is dads royal prerogative to be disagreeable and he has to be a man of real strength of character and real sweetness of temper to be anything else nobody can stop him if he wants to be disagreeable when a man drinks or gambles 9 am to excess beats his children is unfaithful to his wife there Is something she can do about it but when he merely criticizes sulks snaps and growls she Is helpless unless she wants to turn shrew and at the same ume turn the house bouse into a heu hell tor for all concerned dads mood affects all most women dont do that it if only for the sake of their own dignity and for the children they overlook they smile they explain and placate and endure until the bad mood passes dad Is in a bad mood tonight they say in an undertone the children glance at him apprehensively A dismal quiet rules the dinner table no young voice dares pipe up about the movie the approaching finals at school the need of new shoes mother makes a few ew tentative starts nice that doctor smith won the ajab golf match she says and alter after a moment harriet telephoned today just to ask about au all of us decided not to move silence Si silence lenci the head of the house looks unutterably weary looks look faintly annoyed my husband is everything that Is good and fine in character writes a boston wife but he be is so bluml I 1 could count on my fingers the times I 1 have seen larry really cheerful we have four young daughters and have had hard times financially but times are better now and we are paying off bills and planning or I 1 wn am at least for a move to a nicer house bouse and a little expansion generally larry takes no interest in this he glooms away silently at neals meals is very apathetic over D ver any talk of change and goes s silently through life as it if he were f mead ie e of effect elect lect of this on me and the is is of course perfectly terrible cant start up a conversation while that deaths head of boredom and disapproval is looking on As a result we make our own plans and keep quiet when papa is around larry resents this too tor for when I 1 ask for money he be heard our plans know what it is for and generally growls about it no criticism allowed AU all this seems very sad to me we could be so bappel the girls deeply admire and really love their father I 1 have never allowed myself or them the slightest critic criticism isra of him I 1 have always reminded them that he works hard bird to keep us RU all comfortable and happy that he h stints himself to 6 carry a heavy life insurance just tor for us and that he be does doe truly love us deep down in his heart but I 1 find tt it hard going sometimes now patsy and shelia sheila are if 18 twins and brenda and mar garet getting into their teens too and these are days tor for simple hos and pretty if inexpensive frocks and good times ive begged him to relax to be cheerful to stop worrying ive prayed about it it can you make any suggestion to just one more mary the only suggestion I 1 can make Is that there is a reason tor for this mans moods and that when it is found and diagnosed like any bodily sickness mary will dad that she is halfway to the cure I 1 it may indeed be physical it sounds very much like stomach ulcers or colitis or any one of the similar aLl ailments ments that so often attack men whose habits are sedentary and who eat heartily if larry can be persuaded to walk two miles a day eat a light dinner and substitute for rich desserts the invaluable orange apple saucer of prunes or compote of raw fruits he may find life taking on a much roster rosier color colo rental trouble probably mental but much more probably larrys trouble is mental he is carrying too heavy a burden it if two of those daughters had been sons he be would feel eel very differently the boys will be helping out in a tew few deais years 11 would be his natural thought the boys DONT usually help out at and d are much less reliable as mon ey earners than girls are often occur to the father of daughters but an aside that rha t boys DONT usually help out might come through a move indeed b but u a move to simpler and less expensive rather than finer quarters it might come through a determined lessening of expenses rather than an increase in them it might come if the twins started talking less ot of college and sorority days and mo more r e of jobs it might come if mary and the girls all talked honesta hon honestly estl t to 0 PP papa a dismissed the maid gave up the apartment tor for which they pay 85 rent and planned for a country farm near the city at 35 it might come if they gave papa a chance to do a little gardening to split spilt w wood 0 od an and d chop down trees and putter with a windmills Ind mills machinery helping dad out of gloom there Is escape for all of us from difficult conditions if ff we will but open our minds and hearts to find it A wife and four daughters when the man of the house is the only breadwinner bread winner have bave a maid larrys family has one and often for part time another girls girie in such a family should be busy putting up fruit to sell or taking jobs in frock shops or tea rooms A mother like mary should be talking of resources not of constant needs if she found some weather beaten old place outside the city painted it with the girls assistance si opened i a lunchroom took a couple of small children to board started a bank account of her oarn own from which to supply her daughters the luxuries they want she might find the man of the house a changed person worry over family finances will make the best natured men ills dis agreeable if the family would cooperate oper te to help save or earn money this bloodiness usually disappears |