Show just a litt 4 i 11 e T absentminded ABSENT MINDED PROFESSOR he got up in the morning and brushed his teeth with the toothpaste and shaved with the shaving cream at breakfast he poured the syrup on his pancakes and scratched his back he kissed his wife good goodby by and slammed the door he petted the neighbors dog and said hello to the neighbors wife when it started to rain he had his umbrella with him 1 I guess im getting absent mind ed he said 1 I forgot I 1 was in a coolege college comic blue moon drawback anybody can own a car these days said mr chugging Chug gins yes replied his wife but you cant get the fullest enjoyment out of your auto every once in a while you have to quit motoring long enough to earn money for its upkeep diee a razor two farmers were discussing the poverty of the hay crop owing to unseasonable weather mine was so short it was hardly worth cutting said one short queried the bler did you see mine I 1 had to lather it to mow it science explains she sometimes you seem so BO manly and at other times absurdly effeminate why is it he heredity you see halt half my ancestors were men and the other half women philadelphia bulletin ASKING HIM Y weary willie I 1 has ter pinch ter live tattered tom how do keep outer jail fair enough Wh affo you sharpening shar penin at razor woman theys a laih 0 gen muns shoes aundah yol yo bed if they aint no one in them shoes Is gonna shave purple cow service writer how much board will you charge me for a few weeks while I 1 gather material for my new country novel hirm hiram five dollars a week unless we have to talk dialect 3 extra widow his busy day mrs dixon why do you let your husband growl so much ahert you have company mrs vixon vixen the only time he gets to grumble ill omen husband do you think the new cook is going to settle down with us dear wife im a bit doubtful darling A aletter letter came for her this morning and the envelope was re addressed five times very feeling lena did you feel annoyed when he called to see you with a four days growth on his face myrtle rather I 1 f felt elt it very easier to love if you ever married aga again in what kind of a man would you look for she was asked one who worried over the bigness of his income tax and not one who worried over his debts she said HAD HER NUMBER 0 4 bill said I 1 looked good enough to eat last night 11 anil steered him to a high price bea beavery be ahery tiery I 1 suppose identified 1 11 I always take my lunch at a soda fountain said the gentle yo youth uth 1 I see said miss cayenne youre one of the lads they dall soda water chow boys washington star |