Show what thinks about rivals for nudism S ANTA MONICA CALIF I 1 took part in a parade celebrating old days in california riding in an ancient open carriage with our postmaster here he calls jim parley jim and our congressman who like practically all democrats in good standing in the southern part of the state craves to be the next nominee for governor if any more aspirants bob up there wont be anybody left to vote for them this certainly has been a banner year tor for oranges and candidates our outfit got a lot jot of cheers from the crowds and a per feet ovation when v passing a given gi point where the EP el as also Is were giving away beer all three of us felt pret irvin S cobb ty proud of ourselves until we realized that probably the applause meant lor for us there must have been thousands in that crowd never before seen a horse drawn pleasure vehicle it if lady godiva dressed only in her long hair rode on a white horse through any modern city street probably be ten hurrah for the horse against one who looked a second time at the lady sight of a white horse would be a treat to one and all whereas in these days of nudism and public undressing on the beaches but that will be about all for that t internal international dional blesses esses won WITH ITH the great powers tottering on the brink of hostilities to a more tottery extent than usual with the spaniards still willing to fight to the last italian from brother loan collection with china battered to a bloody hash meat in what would closely resemble a war if only japan had bad so declared it which must indeed be gratifying to the ghosts of the thousands already slain and the homeless refugees from ruined cities this seems a mighty good time tor for us to keep our shirt on kindly recall that other historic occasion when uncle sam felt called upon to hop into a mess cooked up by foreign nations and as a result not only lost his shirt but has never since been able to collect the laundry bills for washing the said shirt this it if you get the drift is a subtle reference to those decaul defaulted ted european debts let us therefore highly resolve that no matter how bow great the pressure from within or without mainly be as was the case before from without well keep the old shirt on classifying bores ve been classifying bores class IVE f B bores are those still using the lapel clutch or buttonhole grapple whereas a class A bore is is one whose boast is that he never lays lay s a fin finger finer er on you just holds the vacti victim by psychic power lately ive met what I 1 should call a super A type the same being a gentleman who in addition to having perfect technique otherwise had been imbibing garlic to excess and care who knew it when finally rescued they had to use a pu on me meeting this champion le minded me of what I 1 heard the late wilson minzer say to a gentleman who in insisted on boring wilson while suffused with the afterglow brought on by combining bourbon whisky and bermuda onions in his diet III his s hiccoughs coughs were not only Ire frequent quent but had echoes to thern them finally when wilson was practically ready for artificial respiration to be applied he said dear sir your breath would start th the e windmills turning in an old dutch painting 9 typical texans r edans USED to think a typical texan I 1 was one who said he was going to send you a ten gallon hat and then do it but he Is a subspecies A really orthodox texan tells you a pair of genuine III hes a giving you texas steer horns be along as soon as he can have them shipped but he never ships LIM cm what makes him typical so many typical texans have volunteered ered to send roe me sets of long ion horns that it if all these parties were laid en end d to end have one of the finest anest consecutive strings of born liars ever seen but th they icy stay that way rite rise right up and and star start looking tor for easterners to promise long horns to not that im craving any long horns they stretch so tar from tip to tip they make you think of 0 a muskellunge fisherman trying to show you how much that big besl one measured measure d it if you hang them iw they prong people in the eye if t you hang them high chiefly use useful ful for cobwebs to drair an n and no ko self r acting wile wife wil ot t you hang them anywhere invin aj s conn O service |