Show I u SOMETHING l FOR EVERYONE By BERT LUCKY BOYACK THIS TillS WEEK More Fluffed Up Stuff StuCCo Mickey Rooney mite actor When I was at the race racetrack 1 f track the other day I bet on a horse that was wasso wasso wasso so sway backed that when the horse went around the corner the jockeys jockey's feet dragged on the ground Think about that for a while It Takes Two To Tango Susan darling said the anxious young man will you marry met me t No she said but I will always admire your good taste Wanna Bet It was the first summer cruise for ther the r young oung sailor and he was draped weakly over the the rail The captain came along the deck and with one look at him said You cant can't be sick here The gob looked the captain up and down and then said Watch Sick Sick-Sick You remind me of the ocean she said Of course he smiled Wild and uncontrollable I challenging and exciting enduringly romantic No No she said You make me sick t z j. j it In Words Other-Words A know all saw a sign in a shop window IRON SINKS and went inside and told y G th the e manager that he was v well aware of the fact that iron sank The manager was able to dig the remark and retaliated with And time flies but wine vaults jam rolls grass slopes sulphur springs music stands Niagara Falls holiday trips scandal spreads moonlight walks sheep run the world goes round and The wise guy bolted but returned after collecting col col- col his thoughts and stuck his head inside F the doorway shouting Yes I know and marble 1 r busts t r i Less Smell Theres There's a deodorant on the market which promises protection around the clock It works too Notice how seldom you find a smelly clock i v these days r 47 f Simple Reason A forest ranger in Arizona frequently n saw an Indian Chief riding his horse up th the e canyon trail his wife wiCe trudging along behind him Why is isit isit it the ranger asked one day that you always ride and your wife walks Because was the solemn reply she no horse r. r tI f f. f j jr r I. I A A Fact A pretty girl is like a melody After you youL i L marry her you have to face the music i 1 The French View only A visiting Frenchman was wast t shown around round the US U.S. recently An expert on f the subject of marriage he paid particular attention at at- fie 0 x to the ladies i Well what do you think he was asked Dont we have the best dressed women here No he shook his head sadly Here in the t t. United States you have the best women J. J Broadminded Mrs Norm Ann Ainscough claims that she's been the perfect wife for years because t- t s she e has given her husband two to three nights j out with the boys every week He was a scout scout- master r N l' l l Its It's The Habit That Counts How come you threw 11 Ethel over t Well you see she used to be be- j just the right kind of girl she wasn't too bad but yet she wasn't too good Tv Yes go goon o on Well first she got the golfing habit then the 2 J V dancing habit and then the auto joy riding habit 4 Yes and then i. i r 1 Then she got the walking habit Iii ft e t. t t tto I to toa a Befuddled She wanted to reform him but l She knew bring her sadness E- E l There was she had to admit admit- il That he had method in his goodness j j to With little or no restraint J Jd d 1 f J t I rr i r Good Eyesight t Irate What's the matter with 4 you are you blind i r J i i Other driver No sir I hit you didn't I M l. l N. N j K r rr I r 1 Last Request The dying man gasped pitifully Grant me one last request June he pleaded Of course Herb she said softly PS j Six months after alter I die die he went on I JT I want you to marry Joe F- F I Joe she cried I thought you hated that i Ns- Ns y man Exactly he said and passed away A t t If 1 F aJ Trouble Trouble- Its It's human to have your mind mind wander f but the trouble comes when you follow it I t f. f Last Word Relish a present moment of enjoyment in a way that it does not preclude e a future one |