Show S t. t Bees WAXING by Mary Bee HEED MY W WARNING eleva tors are about to take over th the world Now dont don't call the little men In hi the white coats I know what Im I'm telling talking about heres here's proof Last week hubby and I had business on the fifth floor of the new Federal Building in Salt Lake Its It's equipped with one of those fantastic speed high-speed self- self service elevators We stepped in pushed button number numbe 5 and whoosh in less time than it takes to tell teU about it we were on the fifth floor Our stomachs were still on the ground but we were on the fifth floor IT WAS COMING down we ran into trouble We followed two pretty secretaries into the elevator they elevator they pushed button no 2 I pushed button no DO L 1 Down it went to the second floor pretty as you please and aDd waited for the secretaries to leave Then the door closed but it didn't whoosh us anywhere- anywhere just stayed there and aDd opened fined and closed its doors senselessly I pushed the button marked close door door- and figured this would do the Job It Just stayed there and andopen opened opened open open- ed and closed its doors again SO I PUSHED the button marked Cl- Cl 1 1 again even though the light was still stUl on The elevator stayed where it was and opened and closed its doors a couple of times again We sneaked a quick look up and down the hall hoping no one saw this silly charade and as we were about to dash out and try another elevator no stairs in insight insight insight sight it closed the door on our noses and whooshed us to the ground floor This isn't the first time Ive I've had trouble with an elevator soI so soI I figured it was just another case of an elevator taking its hatred of mankind out on a co coi couple of country hicks until I I read the evenings evening's paper I SAW AN ITEM about the new elevators in the Senate Office Building in Washington DC D.C. Seems they have the habit of capturing Senators and keepIng keeping keep keep- ing them trapped so they will wiD miss roll roD call Or they refu refuse to let the Senators off on the proper floor so they miss important Important Im- Im im important meet meetings Now here her is a problem I mean suppose elevators hi im important buildings all aU over the world suddenly started trapping important people I hope someone heeds my warning and they start putting operators back In elevators be before before before be- be fore its it's too late WHEN WE GOT outside again safely th thank manic heavens there in front of the Federal Building was was' a seI looking lOoking charr character character char char- acter r wearing half an Army uniform and selling newspapers news new newspapers papers protest protesting ng the me war capitalism the government and motherhood Since my husband has bas 12 years active and reserve time Ume in the Army seeing this bum wearing half an army uniform didn't help our disposition much Especially Especial ly after r being attacked by an elevator This fad of an Army U uniform form is one that really bothers me The right to wear an Army UI uniform even part of one is a right you have to earn This guy obviously hadn't earned that right or hed he'd been giving it more Mary Bee |