Show THE GREAT OUTDOORS Bv Stan t By Taggart 11 Everybody's been In their Uck at the State Stale Fish and Dame Ome Department Everybody but bul us ua fact of the matter malter Is 18 weve we've got Ideas about how that thai outfit be run too Like tot for Instance why not put coyotes on the protected list Alot A Alot lot of ot sentimental souls soma would like to hear em howl at the moon one more mote time And now that sportsmen are becoming so 10 rare maybe we could put them on some lome sort lort of protected list lilt too Also the lynch law should be he revived revived As as a just and effective method of punishing those thos who take sound Bound shots elbow other guys guya out of their spots shoot at too-high too ducks and geese etc Why dont don't you Fish and Gamo Garno boys plant trout In some ome of these highway chuckholes We might as well get SOME good use out of the darned a. a Recommendation number umber four How about leg Jog bands on onan oil all these theno partridges that youre you're FIVE POUND leg bands bande that is Is sos sos so's we wo can get within range of the feat fea feathered fireballs Then too lengthen tho deer I Ihunt hunt bunt to days a year so that everybody BUT DUT EVERYBODY will wUl feel teel that they got their four tour bucks worth Why not have one of your pilots drop a map and a compass to poor misplaced be bewildered bewildered be- be up up m mountain o 0 u n t a I n i cheep heep I Oh boy this Is fun Tellin the Fish Game people how howIt's howIt's howIt's Its It's supposed to be done Just where do they get the Idea that they know as al much about this wildlife management business as I do anyway Another suggestion Why not refund Luckless Editor McConaughy's McConaughy's McConaughy's McCon McCon- three fifty at the end of the annual angling reason reason and and then arrest the impostor Imposter for tor TRYING TO IMPERSONATE A FISHERMAN I How flow about making it a requirement requirement requirement require require- ment that all trappers use ru rubber rubber- ber- ber Jawed yawed traps Gotta be humane y know And while were we're harpin on humanity hows how's about you F. F G. G guys makin makia the cowboys leave the badgers alone How can you Sit eit down there at Salt Lake Lako City In those big carpeted offices s and ignore serious matters like this Every Elery time a cowboy rides onto ontoh u h badger he tosses a lasso rope around the poor defenseless s cea cI a lure just ture juat to see if It he cat ca cari pull i iback It ff back o out t Al after Jer ita ite scampered down h iW n. n Cowboys boys Co like to Ito sit ar Il rot at nd lit at night coq sticks play guitars sing andl and brag about to toj j gull ull b haulers dg rs b out t of ot badger holes I should be done doue about I this Heres Here's another good Idea nobody no nos body ever thought of but us bet a graduate would never come up with worthwhile like this Hoop Hoop- nake snake huntin licenses could be besold besold besold sold to easterners easterners and and the proceeds used to buy wigs for our bald eagles An And maybe some ome snowshoes for our cougars cougars cou gars to put them on even terms with the snowshoe rabbits How about legalism dynamite as trout bait Why discriminate against the not not so so skilled fishermen fisher men Using dynamite all aU anglers Including McConaughy would McConaughy-would would have bave the same chance of ot catchin limits omits Something should be done I about these people who kill kUl rats rat rat rat-I and then just leave the meat to waste And what about these country slickers who are selling cockleburs to tourists claiming that they're porcupine porcupineS eggs S s r you OU guys have got problems leme lems you aint even HEARD about yet 1 f Holiday Park or some such place should be bo set aside as a a hideout tor for weary deer trail quail exhausted exha elk fatigued fowl harassed husbands buck buck- blasted birds and maybe even as a sanc sanctuary uary for tor riddled Also Allo fellows you should round up Utah's Utah elk each fall fall haul them to Hogle Hoglo Zoo rand hide them there thero for tho the duns dura i r. r tion tien of the deer hunt Or If tf this plan Isn't practical at t least leut hang big bright I AINT NO DEER signs on em n Recommendation number six sixteen teen ten Y You'd ud Just oa as all all' allwelt welt well leave that age blank off ort of all wo- wo I mens' mens and huntin they never tell the th truth on It It anyway l You State Slate Fish and ana thyme aJIle folks are ate now t a U. U or sues sue successful program Why not extern extend this training idea to other phases of outdoor recreation Material for tor the new courses might cover such timely worthwhile subjects as How Ilow to remove careless boaters from motor props forearm and finger first first aid ald for tor archery novices novi ces cee seventeen sate safe snake sacking systems clever ways to hook trip and or drown bothersome water skiers deer deor camp poker strategy creating your wife wite a coat from porcupine pelts polls the theart theart theart art of at extracting lead from tho legs of draw artists sure surefire surefire fire ire muskrat and polecat recipes how bow low to hit quail etc while climbing through barbed barbed- wire fences teaching the Mrs to live with bird dogs doge mounted moose heads angleworms and things surviving Uinta Mountain drinking booze marathons me me- of freeing treeing oneself from ones one's own bear trap How Ilow about it Fish and Game I folks have we got you to Another task before you gentlemen gen pens Is la to somehow curb the steady rise rise In deer hunter num num- bers bore Suppose you wage a giant publicity campaign out Gut the miseries connected with the sport aport such as al blistered feet dragging deer heart attacks at tacks blizzards lost shot at This ought to scare a few would would-be hunters out outlAnd And you should place a a. a bounty on mosquitoes All anglers who buy licenses should bo be assured of ot protection against these miserable Dests pasta Your antl antl mosquito p pro program r o g r a m in could be managed just like the theother theother theother other predator controlling setups That is is- is isyou you could pay an established sum of money money for tor each set t of mosquito legs and scalps that me are turned In by bounty hunters In ou our humble opinion you Fish and Game fellers should Shorten the pheasant hunt lengthen the dove I. I Spare magpies and starlings these we love Legalize crossbows o 0 outlaw u uti t I a w guns Make anglers throw back the biggest onus ones Have all stray c caught and skinned And our Jack lope populations thinned Require that hunters wear purple clothes Save the bucks and kill the does Shoot hoot the tho seagulls protect snakes Plant all puddles but poison polson I |