Show IY Something For Everyone By BERT BOYACK My grandfather owned my violin and his grandfather be before before before be- be fore him He sold the violin to tome tome tome me which proves he is tighter than I am Jack Benny t There is one teenager in Bountiful who is a nature lover She loves the Beatles the theMon- theMon Mon Mon- kees the Animals and the Rolling Rolling Roll Roll- ing Stones t t I Governor Nelson Rockefeller of New York while campaigning I Ifor for reelection was stopped by a good looking girl How she asked does it feel to tobe be rich I Fine I he answered vered i it feel to be so good looking t Would You Believe Johnny Carson receives for forthe forthe forthe the Tonight Show a week or annually for his hour and a half show Monday through Friday w After paying our taxes this year the only worry left is a as s small mall balance to Ii live ve on for the I time being Philosopher Pete The cliche is he who fights and runs away shall live to fight another day but theres there's still that worry about that other day A customer came to the pharmacist pharmacist pharmacist phar phar- to have a prescription filled How cHow much Pharmacist Pharmacist cist That will be 11 The customer threw down a dollar bill and ran out of the store Pharmacist Oh well 50 cents profit is better than nothing WITTY TIDBITS A chronic cold bearer has taken so many shots of penicillin for a cold that every time he sneezes he I cures someone If 11 there is a choice or doubt in buying a or car buy the one though you may have to skip a payment on the higher priced one With so many commercials commercials commercials commer commer- on tv it is similar to looking through the window of a drug store A husband who has been married for several years says he takes everything his wife says with a grain of aspirin A newly married woman should be careful of all I that frozen food supply she may get frost bitten hands With the modern innovation of frozen vegetables and fruit fruit most young men still like to squeeze their own tomatoes A stork stands on one foot be because because because be- be cause he couldn't stand at all if he lifted the other of the two A pillow is lower with a head than without one r If you gave one friend a nickel and two friends a dime the time would be a quarter to three If I youre you're planning a trip to Yellowstone Yellowstone Yellowstone Yel Yel- Park you will want to see Old Faithful but dont don't be absent minded and leave her home A cheerful old bear at the zoo I Could always find something to do When it bored him you know To walk to and fro He reversed it and walked fro and to t A married man has savings and still wont won't spend It although he Is back In his rent the electricity has been cut off gas discontinued and a long overdue grocery bill He is waiting for an emergency After the man had had been a guest of a certain hotel for more than 30 years an Interior decorator decorator dec dec- orator came through town on one e day and persuaded the management management management manage manage- ment to do the whole place over In due course the alterations alteration s were completed These here new trappings trapping s sure are elegant conceded th the e es time old-time guest a few weeks week s later but I must admit I miss that old spittoon in the corner Yes ayes you ou always did a roo room m clerk pointed out A rich rich snob traces his ancestors ancestors an ancestors an- an back to William the Conqueror and Noah When they landed he says the family had their own private boat LAST WORD FOR THIS WEEK The writer knows a joke about abou ti a chicken but just cant can't pullet |