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Show JUST FOR FUN The two extra-peclallts had pound-td pound-td him and sounded him, and felt his pulse and tapped bis frame, until he could only He In a cold perspiration or fear. "Undoubtedly, It's a case of appen dkitlsl" t.ald Fpeclalist No 1, gravely, "Undoubtedly!" assented specialist No. 2. "But would he be able to Bland an operation?" pondered No. 1. "Ah. would he?" echoed No. 2. They dug him lu the ribs again, and he 6quealed, "Ah," remarked No. 1, I think we ouKht to let him get a bit stronger before we cut Into him." 1 "Confound your palaver!" grasped , the patient starting up. "What do you tako me for a cheese?" Answers. An-swers. ONE SIDE ENOUGH. Senator Willam Alden Smith says tho evident desire of Colonel Roosc-, velt to listen to the points of both in-' surgents and repmlars places him in a different category from an Irish Jus- ; tlce of tho Peace out in Michigan. In a trial the evidence was a! In, and the ' plaintiff's attorney had made a long and very eloquent argument, when the lawyer acting for the defense j arose "What are you doing?" asked the Justice, as the lawyer began. "Going to present our bide of tho j case." ' "I don't want to hear both sides ar- ; gued. It has a tindencey to confuse tbe Court." Washlngtonla. COMPLIMENTARY. A New Oilenans man tells of an in- terestlng exchange of greetings between be-tween two darkles on the streets of that city. "How yo' gettiu' on, Joe?" asked the first, a lleht mulatto. , "I ain't done so bad," answered the 1 other, who was as black as the pro- crblal ace of spfdes ! "Yo' looks pretty well. Joe." assented assent-ed the mulatto. Then condescending- : v he added: "Yo shore holds yo' color well dls hot weather, Joe." Upplncott's i DISCOURAGING. Tho learned servant came to the stripling student "My boy,' ho advised, laving a kind- j I iy hnnd on the younc man's shoulder, "burn midnight oil If you wish to rise In this world. I burn hidnight oil and now am drawing $10.n.in a year. The struggling student slphed. j ' Seems like I csn't strike the pace," j he responded, lucrubdlously. "I burn j midnight oil every nlsht and don't , draw anything but mosqulaos." Chicago Chi-cago News. WOMANLIKE. ! The tourist climbed through the dust of ages and stood before the mummy of the Egyptian Queen. -How natural she looks!" exclaimed the men. In the party "Rut won't you turn her over?" insisted in-sisted the women "What for?" demanded the dusky guide. 1 "So we can see how her dress Is buttoned in the buck "Chicago News. SOMETHING HAPPENED. A train on one of the transcontinental transconti-nental lines that runs through Kansps City and is usually late was reported upon time a few days aco. The young man who writes the particulars par-ticulars concerning the trains at that station put down hi statistics about this train: "No. 01C from the Kest on lime." Then he wrote underneath: "Cause unknown." Saturday Evening Post. JUSTIFICATION. The darkey had driven his fare lo the hotel, and was now demanding a doM.ii- for his service. "What?" protested tho passenger. "A dollar Tor that distance? Why, It isn't half a mile a's the crow flies." "Dat's true, boss." returned Sambo, will an appealing smile. 'Rut. ye see, sub, dat old crow a In t ot free wives and ten chlllun to suppoht. not to mention de keep fob do boss " FATE OF A SPEEDER. Gunner nigwood. tho Millionaire, started off for a banquet, and was arrested for speeding. Guyer Then he wasn't wined and ilined? Gunner No; Instead he was lined and roasted. Chicago News |