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Show JUST FOR FUN Legil Profundity. A newly mado magistrate was gravely grave-ly absorbed In a formidable document. Raising his keen eyes, ho said to the man who stood patiently awaiting the award of Justice: "Officer, what la tms man charged with?" "Bigotry, your worship. He's got three wives," replied tne officer. The new justice rested his elbows on the desk and placed his linger Hps together, '' Officer," he' Bali,' somewhat Bternly, "what's the use of all Lhls education, all tbeso evening schools, nil the technical classes and what not? I Please renumber, lu any future case, j that a man who hu nianlej three i wives has not committed blgoiry, but 1 trigouoinctiy. Proceed." Lincoln , State Journal. Not Yet Ripe. ' The Fair Purchaser Your eggs are all very small today, Mr. Jo.ies. Mr. Jones Ye-Vm, ly are; but I'm sure I don't kno.v the reason. I The Fair Purchaser Oh, I expect you' took them out of the nests too soon. Sketch. Dquili'ied. "Very few .hi tOjivphers seem to enjoy having t:,elr own pictures taken." tak-en." said the observer of human nature. na-ture. "That's true." replied the artist. "When a photographer Ots thiou;h with all his exacting customers taerc's no use of telling him to assume an easy attitude and look pleasant. ' Washington Star. Costly Taicnt. "You are sure that airships will mako war so expensive as to be utterly ut-terly impractical?" said the military expert, "Quite sure," replied the other. "The flying machines won't cost so much, but we won't be able to pay the sums required by aviators for going go-ing up In them." Washington Star. Cause of His Demise. Walkins Didn't you say your father was an Inventor? Tompkins Yes; he made a specialty special-ty of Inventing safety devices. Wat.1 Ins la he still living? Tonpklns No; he invented and demonstrated a safety folding 'bed. Chicago News. An Observation. "What says the voice of the people?" peo-ple?" inquired the oracular alarmist. alarm-ist. "My personal observation," replied Senator forghum, "Is that the voice of the people Is, as a rule, too closely occupied In giving three cheers for somebody to articulate anything very distinctly." A Busy Somnambulist. "Who is that man talklne so loudly loud-ly out on the fire escape?" asked the belated citizen J ' Hush!" said the policeman. "He is a great statesman who walks In hie sleep. He thinks he Is on the rear platform of a railway train," Washington Wash-ington Star. Unrcgenerate. "It was to satisfy your extravagant tastes," cried the desperate man, "that I committed the forgery. The crime Is ni on your head " The woman started anil gazed at him wonderlngly. "Is my crime on straight?" she asked Success Magazine. Maga-zine. Well Provided For. Professor You eight not to let your son idle away his precious youth. You should prepare him to carve his name In the hall of fame. Rich Mother Pooh pooh; In our position po-sition we can afford to hire a sculptor to do that for him. Detroit Times. A Bad Combination. "What's the matter with my speeches?" inquired the orator. "The seasoning is wrong," replipd the old campaigner. "You try to put so much ginger in them that they have to he ta' en with a grain of salt." Washington Star. Tommy's Surmise. Mr. Ealdy Ye., Tommy, even tho hairs of our had? are numbered. Tommy, glancing at his father's In-tellectual In-tellectual d me Don't tike much fig-germ' fig-germ' to gel your number, does U, pa?" Harper's Weekly |