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Show Why H Wasn't at (School. An old man, upon seeing a small te Sam's Otoptoti SwmilQ Coin droms BY barefooted lad playing in the street of western town ono day, approached him and said: "Young man, why are you not attending school today; some day, when you grow up you will regret all this wasted timet Well, Ill tell yer. mister," said the chap with a long drawn sigh. "Me mudders sick, me brother Jimmy broke his arm yesterday, and babys cutting bis teeth" and my oldest sisters getting marrted, and besides there aint any school ter day. Its teachers convention day, aim dats the reason I aint at school ter day." National Monthly. WALBON fAWCETT C HE United 8tates government" U now at work s upon one of the moat and, by the by, one. of the most interesting project! it has ever Not Quite. . Dobbins I say, eld fellow, you art getting- thin since you retired trott business." Bobbins (ex coni dealer) "That'S right You see, I don't weigh as much ne I did. ' Then Why Not? Q Since 1 862 we have made good our jewelry guarantees. We would like to serve you. Then why not? Ha Was a Diplomat. Bhe "I should like thatlovelf pearl kook what beauties necklace, are." 'undertaken. It Is nothing short of a scheme for moving the corn belt," Or perhaps it would be more accurate to call it a crusade for extending the corn belt, for there is no desire to interfere with the growing of bur greatest agricultural staple in that broad section of the country where 'com has long been the principal standby of the farmer. The new plan of the department of agrluil-turefo- r of course that is the branch Jf our government machinery thnt has charge of this new activity is simply (n effect to make twoblades of grass grow where only one grew before. Although all the world has been gasping in astonishment these many years past at the bumper crops of corn this country turns out each year, the experts of the government some time since came to the conclusion that great as was Abe- - national corn yield it was not as big as it ought to be. Furthermore, they thought they foresaw a time when, with our rapidly growing population, the corn crop would not be any too big for our own American appetite and, of course,, if that came to pass, we would lose more or less of our foreign trade, for a vast quantity of Yankee com products now they Salt ITO MAIM ft lass urn sus lie "Its better not to have such large pearls, my dear. Feople always think they are false." A POSITIVE Squared the Account. Just think!-- . That lady doctor who died last year owed her oressmaker Drunkenness and Opium Diseases. sad CUU 20,000 marks." USm tmbT M TWi k N MlSdlf, N Sckaw. amrtrfy "Well, what happened? "Her husband couldnt pay, so be married the dressmaker. STITUTE. Um THE lUIXI ahlMm JM Wh TmL Stnrt. Uk Ut. W. IN- City. BEINQ THE ONLY SEEDSMEN ' Useless Effort. FQK In the field Pester Arent you going kiss me, dear? Mrs. Pester What's the use. 1 have such a cold I can't tell whether Mr. country making thoro ot Hecda, wa lend nllenmpetitois. rite lur our Bit f re Catalog oi Teu W ffORTKN -- WALTON CO., Nslt Lake City youve been drinking or not. . find their seas. way to dtnner tables . - I li- v u r it - g T-, i -- i s ft over- On the theory of & stitch In time the agricultural sharps proceeded to TV ? V u get busy over this Impending problem. First they set about increasing the yield of com per acre and latterly they have entered upon the even more significant mission of extending the corn growing area. As our readers are awa. most of the com crop has been grown heretofore in the middle ( are known as com r MtPca'J CCNOMCAI (ORNQPONER stntee such as Illinois, Indiana, Iowa and Nebraska. But the government experts came to the conclusion scouting around rx r known could be raised in prolific quantity the south if only.the people south of .Mason and Urion's line could be aroused to the possibilities lying dormant at tbelr doors. Waking up tbese southern farmers to their neglected opportunities is tbe present work of one of the most efficient organizations in Uncle -- Sams agricultural corps It was nothing short of an inspiration that the experts hit! upon the plan of proving that their corn fairy tales could come true through tbe medium of the farmer boys of the south. The lads were enlisted la tins country-wi- de demonstration work-a46,000 of them have lately been giving their fathers object lessons right at home. What is more, many of the fathers have taken , thelessons .to heart and after seeing with their own eyes what phenomenal yields can be made if com be cultivated ss the "book chaps" at the agricultural department prescribe they have become converts to tbe new Ideas' and have announced that henceforth they will cultivate com the way their sons have been doing these past few months. It will mean only a fraction more time and work and it means production doubled or trebled or' quade In nd rupled. Of course the government gave instructions to tbese lads ss to how to till tbe soil in the most advantageous manner, but the enthusiasm which resulted in com harvests that have made the whole world sit up and take notice was Inspired ijy comprTltive contests for the winner! In which 'all sorts of prizes were offered township prizes, village , prizes, county prizes, stite prizes, and goodness knows What, all in thq way of trophlis culminating In eaih etafin a "grand prize" In the form of a sightseeing trip to Washington, all expenses paid, for one boy. Of course, the government did not offer tbeee prizes. Uncle Sam has no money available for such purposes, but the depart went of- - agriculture engineered the citizens whole scheme and got the public-spiriteof more than a dozen states so Interested that they put up theorizes mentioned. Individuals as hankers and merchants and orgaulza . tions such at boards of trade, county superintendents cf education, chambers of commerce, etc, contributed to the list of prizes which In the grand teal footed np to more than $40,000 This whole movement, alike to other similar educational crusades, has been nnder the direction of the division of farmers work of the department of agriculture and the feld officers of this Institution have brought shout s stems tic effort on the part of ccrn growers by organizing what he d There are great numbers of township clubs all over th land the township being the standard unit of organization and there are county clubs in about 600 different counties. Circulars of Instruction, prepared by Dr. 8. A. Knapp, the government expert, who is the Solomon of this movement, ere prepared and sent several times during the year to each individual boy who is enrolled in this work. Seed selection and the preparation of the soil are taken np first in these courses of In- struction by mall (supplemented by the advice of the field workers of tbe department who are continually traveling about to supervise, and give practical instruction.) AH the boys, who won' tbe biggest prises paid very careful attention Tcrthe Instructions' on'lhls score and" plowed tbelr acres' from eight to sixteen inches deep and thoroughly pulverised their seed beds. Evea moresrefuJ Bdvlce 4s g1ven the bora fb very vital subject of fertilisation and one rea- gon j,y t0 many 0f these lads have at the first go off gotten better tom crops thah thelrf Sthers have ever been able to produce with all their experience back of them is that the youngsters have none of the contempt of the old fogies for d ideas and have been not only willing but eager to roaster a general knowledge of nitrogen, potash, phosphorus, etc., ss agricultural aids and the effect of leaves, wood mold, barnyard manure, etc. Tbe whole plan of computing and comparing g ytelds in this country-wid- e competition is done in the most systematic End businesslike manner. With swarms of keenly interested boys watching each others crops like -- hawks there is not much opportunity for deception ot any kind, but In addition to this insurance of publicity of methods ahd yields the department of agriculture has its own officers in the .field all the while and they rigidly investigate any wtis-- . picious reports Just as the field workers of the . United States census have been probing Into the enumeration in any town or city that seemed to show an undue increase In population since the iast census. Be It said to the credit of the boy covfi growerilhaj almost i none of ' them have fallen, under suspicion on any score. In making up the records of the oung corn growers and awarding the prizes that are Offered the government officials take into consideration ether things tfiair the mere rrop yield, regardless of cost of cultivation and every other factor. Indeed, In making awards there are considered in addition to yl Id, the cost per bushel, the beet ten ears corn raised and tbe written history of tbe crop prepared by the boy who ratsed It. ..Not all the boys who won the blgrizes and were personally congratulated by President Taft in the White House at Washington made the largest yields In their states. The economical side was sywsya taken lntp consideration in giving out the prizes and In apportioning the diplomas of merit which Secretary Wilson personally zented to the,boys who called on him wt Wnsh- ington, f Tbe bojs who bare won rank as Uncle Sam's champion corn growers in every Instance "made good" by exhibiting their prize products at their respective county fairs where their neighbors could seewith their own eyes what they accomplished by the new method of tilling the soil. In many counties the distribution of the county prizes' for corn growing was made a event-tb- ls past autumn and aa many aa 1,000 to 1.600 persons haVC assembled at a county seat ftewr IOUUAM wrest- - --in clubs;. new-fangle- corn-growin- red-lett- v) - - - I i to set prises awarded to lads who are pointing the way to increased averages ot cOrn produc- tion In the south, and Incidentally to a partial solution of the increased cost of living. And no farmer can sneer that the showings made in this twentletb-centurcom growing are spurts of no practical significance. On the contrary the government officials have applied modern bookkeeping methods to the business side of the proposition and the reported costs of production can be accepted as fair actual costa uO The yields made during the past season by these young com growers have been truly astonishing and some of them are almost past tbs The ailver service which has bees Salt Lake City. The battleship belief ot farmers who have been getting an averNew selected launched at S3 Camden, by the committee, consists "Utah," to acre say, com 49 bushels of age of, per in choice corn country in the middle west In Jersey, December 23, 1909, Is a vessel of about one hundred and thirty one Mississippi county 48 boys averaged. 81 of. the Dreadnaught type, 610 feet pieces, On tbe larger pieces of the bushels per sere. In one 8outh Carolina county long, 88 feet wide and displaces 21.825 service, scenes typical of Utah'a 20 boys produced 1,700 bushels of com on 20 tons, with a draft of 28 feet 6 Inches. scenery and resource, as well . those which ere or historical na- acfesr'lU another county In lhat same elate 142 "Her armatnentrTs'compoeed" otten Among the guns, sixteen boys averaged 62 bushels per acre. One lad gunf and ture, will be engraved made $1,000 from a single acre of com. Jerry the uaual. small calibrf g!ins, Sha has larger engravings will be a scene repsubmerged torpedo tubes. resenting pioneer and modern' means Winona, 8.'-lhe"champi0n com two grower of the world, got the trussing yield of The vessel will be propelled by Par- ot transportation, the artists having 228 bushels to the acre. Steve Henry of Loulsl- - sons turbines, "being the first United selected for this purpose tbe pioneer - typ- - of ox team and : the - modern palatial ' carried off ttatfhlgtlesFtOftortfor economical ts tee - battles h ip with-th- is on 140 bushels his acre nearly machines and she will bum oil fuel in steam train crossing the Lucln Cut-offarming, producing at a cost of only 13 cents per busbeL Joe Stone connection with coaL She has the Black Rock at Garfield, showing the of Georgia, youngest and smallest of the national usual complement of officers and lake In tbe distance; a composite picprize winners, is only eleven years of age, but men and Is fitted up, in every reaped ture of a mining camp; Pioneer Monuhe produced 102 bushels to the acre at 'a cost of according to the customary practice of ment, and a number o? typical Utah, 29 cents per bushel Next season the scope the United States navy. mountain scenes. The twenty-eeveof (he competition Is to be greatly The "Utah" will be, when placed In punch cups which go with the punch extended and the government may also strive commission, the largest vessel com- service will b&r scenes typical of the to get the country girls of the United States counties of the state, States navy, and twenty-seveUnited for the pleted into s similar competition, only, of course, It will will have a speed of about 21 knots. and each Individual cup will hear a not be corn growing but vegetable gardening with - A follegend "aetting forth In a few words patriotic custom has been canning and preserving as a side line." the resources of the county it repreof tbe state several lowed by the Union In whose honor battleships have sents. Practically all of the counbeen named, of providing the vessel ties have responded to the commitwith a allver service. The cost of tees Invitation for suggestions and services has ranged from five the - collection of photographs will these Church sales, dinners, teas and the like are thousand dollars. , The convey a splendid Idea of tbe diversito twenty-fivnot only meant Tor promoting eodal enjoyment the same have fied products and resources of the for funds purchasing and incidentally of replenishing the treasuries several states In state. Tn v the raised been of the organizations which provide them. These All the citizens of Utah have been, various legislative ways by serve a real and valuable economic functions private subscription, And sub- or will be, given an opportunity to purpose, ss is indicated by the lady whom Edna service for scriptions byJ the vanoos ci.tw ot the contribute to this silver K. Wooley quotes in tbe Toledo Blade. This which is to Have Utah, the battleship a tea. a! lady r racy of tbe work of providing three meats The Utah will not be behind the Its trial trip In the near future. Even a day for her family, consisting of herself, her vessels in this respect, e com- tbe school children are to contribute other her and husband daughter, finds a new Joy In men and mittee having been appointed to se- their mite, so that the living at this time of year, and explains why: a real have future of the may women be will which service "Last night we went tow roast beef dinner. To- cure a ailver of Interest In the great war vessel crew and officers ot the the are to we a pride Methodist progressive going night named for the-- state of Utah. "Utah," end s credit to the-sta- te. suppeff"MJr husband " hates"' those progressive suppers, because we start with soup at the church, you know, then go to some house for the meat course End finish up at some other bouse for the dessert. He says when he alta down to a meal he1ikea to finish the Job. on the spot, Inst esd of gettisg up every little while, putting on pis hat and coat and galloping out Into the cold q Thats what you get when you-u- se and cruel world to resume his eata at some other Telephone. It means that every instrument Is perfectly stand But NI think it's fun. It's a blessed change. ' attuned with the operating, mechanism at central, and Tomorrow night w go to a Presbyterian church assures absolute selectivity for every use. Only one bell it 25 cents, too, and I dont supper. That'apnly Is called. Complete metallic circuit when a party rings see how they do It for the money. The next one Tk Pfcsss I1 after that is sn Episcopal turkey supper, and the in Your Home? Talk" next Is sIbo a turkey supper at the Unitarian , Have You an Independent church. Then come the Disciple and Congregation chprch suppers, and by that time you11 see toy cheeks slicking out with rich living. What would we poor home cooks do if it wasn't for the church suppere They give us a rest from the eternal routine of planning and rooking the daily meal. Nobody that hasnt tried that business knows w hat a grind It gets to be. 4 theres a man on earth would j I dont belie s 115 SuteSuecL Sak Laka Chy I Catnl Exchange stand for IL old-tim- e y J r. ns-tur- al u h h -- - f; n g n Those Church Suppers! e appro-prlatlon- T -- Harmonic Telephone System threc-meal-a-da- y Utah Independent Telephone Company.... ill IJi |