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Show I HEARD ABOUT TOWN 1 .1 - Deputy Sheriff Thomas England is a checken fancier. And so is Deputy Sheriff John Holden Tht same thing applies to Deputy Hack Shiirllit'f. So naturally when the three get together to-gether In the sheriff's office the conversation con-versation is entirely "chicken' and no ono else can get a word In edgewise edge-wise But Deputy Charlie Pinco. k knows but little about chit ken-raising, and carea less. In fact he does not like the conversation to bo monopolized with "chicken" every time he finds himself a seat in the office Yesterday he h:n his Inning. The conversation had been all 'chicken." Some one of the three fanciers had mentioned the fat t that a Oallfornlan had pla e, eh- (lie lli;hts In his chick-cn-coops and his chicken-', thinking night was day. worked overtime and produced twice as many eggs. Charlie had all he could stand. He bellowed for silence. "Let me tell you chicken fancier Somethtnk about bees. I had a friend who kept bees for a living and he figured they were not giving him enough honey ' shouted Charlie. "So he crossed them with lightning-bugs lightning-bugs and now they work night and day," he continued. BOJJ m il.n it OFF Young Daughter (laying down the paper) I see they're reducing prices on all the good cars I s Ishj we could afford to trade in our old boat and get something fit to rid In Father (looking up from his magazine, maga-zine, with a facetious glance at mother) moth-er) Now, if mother only had the llt- erary ability of a Alary Roberts Iline-hart, Iline-hart, end could write a story that would bring in about a thousand dollars, dol-lars, that would help. Mother (putting a wrorX: stitch In her Christmas embroidery) If you Just had the financial genius of a John D. Rocke Younp Son (giving the dog's ear a twist) Aw, let's change the subject. I wonder how In heck it came that the. Yanks I mean the baseball Yanks got beaten the way they did? si EMITTED j After a young lawyer had talked nearly five hours to a jury, who felt , like lynching him, his opponent, a griz-' led oM veteran, arose. In. iked aweatlv at the judge, and said: " Your honor, I will follow the example ex-ample of my young friend who has just finished, and submit the case without with-out argument." Life. BARG VIS LST1N I "Jacobs and Bernheim were joint ; partners In the woolen cloth business Jacobs being the eastern salesman for I the firm. While traveling in the East he was taken ill and died. The undertaker who took 'rharge of the body wired Heinheim: "Jacobs died, i can embalm him for fifty dollars or freeze him for twenty-five dollars.' "Bernheim wired hack: "Freeze him 1 from his knees up for fifteen dollars, j his legs were frostbitten last winter ' " The National News. BREAKING THE VOOSE The Warden "you're in luck. Scrip-ipen! Scrip-ipen! There's a reprieve for you come I along from the Home Office." The Convicted Ono (rising to the ! occasion) "Ha! No noose is good noose !" Sitting beside K T II. tiding her hand was K. C. Me looked Into her I's, But by this time you're Y's. For F C. K. C. Loved K T Do you get the , D.? "What is this spiritualism all about?" m "Remains to be seen " VIEWS OF HIS OWN Vendor to Railroad I'assf-nger. "Here are some of tho fine postcard you like some of them'" Passenger: "I should say not' ,1 have my own views about this rail-I : road." Ex The telephone rang. Peggy took down the receiver and called, 'Hello," "Hello, that you Peggy," rami the answer an-swer in a masculine voice. "Js Mary home yet?" "No, but she will be here any minute now." said Peggy. "Sure'.' I've got to speak to her right away Can you see her com-t com-t Ing?" 'Oh, you and Mary?" scoffed Peggy, Peg-gy, "Well, I'll sec Roy" Peggy bounded out of the house and ran swiftly to the corner, a half block distant, dis-tant, returning breathless, " can't see her coming, Roy." She said as she took up the receiver. Shall I tell her to call you?" "No. Is your mother there?" "Yes." "Well, listen Peggy, will yon tell her i that Mary will be lute She s down town with mo and we ars going to a j show." I v I I CIMMII JIMMTf SEZ: The only perfd I man In tin- world is inn- your wife refused to marrj , I 1 I H. DON'T IT? Pon't it make you mad boys, when your sister calls you out of bed, just when you are sleeping nicely, to nn-swer nn-swer a long distance call on the telephone, tele-phone, only to hear after you had hunted for a bathrobe and stapgore.l sleepily down the stairs, the young miss say, "Never mind dear, go back to bed"? The worst thing about a vacation is the reminiscences thereof There Is no financial crisis hut somebody seems to be holding the Almighty Al-mighty Dollar In bash. M IARL1 POP M There's a tumblerdown shack Fallen Into decay. Which brings back" the thoughts Qf an earlier day. We could write some more, Rut we'll knock off ut that, For sixty per month's What they're holding It at. "Don t be a rolling stone, they always al-ways go dow n hill." |