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Show Dorothy Dix Talks ARE YOU ONE OF THESE? in Woman Write: 5 Now there be five varieties of tho female bore, each more deadly than I the other. I The first Is the woman who has seen I bettor days- You meet her everywhere, every-where, but she chlefl abounds in business orfices and boarding houses. Within five minutes of your first meeting with her. she has told you that sho never expected to come to this, and after you have known her 2 years, she is still telling you the sam thing She is a phonograph with one record, rec-ord, and it never occurs to her that ro human being except herself cares a tinker's dam about her pedigree, or I the riches her family used lu have, or is Interested In any ' has been" stuff I All we care for Is the now-present Tho woman who has seen better j days never learns to do her work properly, because she thinks that j would put her on a level with the plo-' plo-' bean woman wiio Is having her best lAys In eurning a good salary And If she keeps boarders, she feels that you should not object to the coffee ... log as weak as dishwater, because it Is poured out of Great Grandmother's I silver coffee pot. About which, and the splendor in which she was reared: sT.e orates endlessly. The second among bon s Is the woman wo-man who tells you her troubles. She keeps her tears on tup, and turns them on at every' opportunity. She comes to see you and weeps on your breast until you are sodden with salt water. She is like some uncanny bird thai lives by feasting on its own heart, and she forces you to partake of her hideous hide-ous meal. She tolls you tales of the horrible brntatlt with which her husband treats her, but she goes on living with Mm. She relates piteous stories of her children s ingratitude, but sho continues to cherish them. She bewails her poverty . Sho laments her bad luck. She bemoans her III health She Is on a perpetual orgy of melancholy and she forces every one who knows her to drink her cup of sorrow, and she Is never so happy as when she has ci-st a wet blanket over any festive occasion, and made everybody present long for a dose of cyanide of potassium. potas-sium. Tho third greatest among bores Is the woman w ho, pretends to be young She's a kittenish little thing of some fifty odd summers and heaven knows how many winters, but she sets the e'ock back every year, lays a heavier hand on the rouge pot and tho hair dve bottle Sho giggles and simpers, and shimmies, though you can hear he. poor old bones creaking as she dances, and she says 'we girls," and teases herself about men young enough en-ough to be her grandsons. When she refers to anything that happened farther in the past than ten years, she always says, "I barely can remember It for I was such a tiny Rlrl at the time It happened." And she Invariably informs you that she was j-lmply nothing but a child when she DC an led, and leads you to Infer that she and her oldest child aro practically twins. There's only one thing on earth more afflicting than the silly, brainless brain-less chatter of a 16-year-old girl, and that Is the Imitation lino of 16-year-i old chatter handed out by the woman of sixty who Is understudyini; sixteen The fourth among bores is th0 WO-I man who brags. She Is one of the pests of pleasure resorts, and travel, for she gets In her fatal work best on people who do not know her rating In Broad-, street, and her homo address. She talks grandly about her social position, posi-tion, and says that of course it Is' foolish for people to speak ot her as the queen of society In Spec-dunk 1 where she lives, but there does have Jtc be some arbiter, doesn't there, or els.? all sorts of new rich peopl would I be getting in, and of course as she be-1 I longs to one of. the old families, and has had such social advantages, etc., etc , etc. And then the refers casually to her gold ball room, and hor butlc. and j second man, and says such and such a nh.ng happened when sho was out In her Packard no, was It her Imported French car no. not that either. It nust have boon the Rolls Hove-i Hove-i ' "r perhaps she has written a story that got In a magazine, or a picture that somebody bought, or she got a bit of ribbon for Red Cross work, and,-lalas, and,-lalas, you never hear tho end of her achievement. And the woist of the) bragging bore is that you not only I have to listen, you have to give her I the glad hand, and thus er.coro her. ; which Is like making a martyr fetch (the faggots for the fire on which he is to be roasted. I Tho common bore and the easiest to! forgive because she Is so human, is 'the woman who talks about her chil-jdrcn. chil-jdrcn. She Is a continuous performer, and there Is no stopping her and We do jget frlghtfull- weary of hearing all jabout the smart things llttlo Mary si'd, and Johnny s whooping cough, I and Sadie's beaux, and how Tom Is jgetllng on at college, but the mother loo that narrows the whole world jdown Into Just her own nestlings, and i that has no Interest outside of Its own, is so touching In Its self-abnegation, that we may well grit our toeth and endure it in patience. Chief among the things that reconcile recon-cile us to tho shortness of life, are I the- feme le bores who Infest society. I I wonder If I am one. Are you? And :to which type to We belong" |