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Show II Dorothy Dix Talks j I f HOW TO MANAGE A HUSBAND II I By DOROTHY DIX, the World's Highest Paid Woman Writer When a woman asks for advico about how to manage a husband shp does not desire to be given a reliablfl recipe for "bossing" him. Not one , ' wife in a thousand would have her j husband obey her, if she could, for by , no one is the hen-pecked man more ; ; despised than by the domestic tyrant who pecks him. : No. By managing a husband a j woman merely means getting along I with him without friction, getting him i into his eening clothes and out to a : party once a week without a scene, and generally getting what is coming '; to a wife without having to use a sand' bag, or a jimmy to obtain it. And, ; more especially, she means working some sorL of a conjure on him so that M lie will always see her surrounded by fla the romantic halo of a lady-love, info in-fo stead of in the pi'osalc attitude of a useful household convenience. How to Manage a Wife. Therefore the study of how to man-.; man-.; age a husband is not only a proper tone for wives, but one that shall bo . , accounted unto them for merit, as Mr. Kipling would say. Especially by husbands, for undoubtedly it is much more soothing to have our fur rubbed the right way than the wrong, and pleasanter to be beguiled along the pathway we should go than it is to he prodded along it. The great original tip on this important impor-tant subject is that which the first woman whispered into the oar of her oldest daughter. She said: "Feed to grute." And Lillith, or Eve, or whatever what-ever her name was, shook her coarso red hair out of her little eyes and smiling wisely passed over the narrow bones, and the liver, and the tenderloin tender-loin of the benst she had just slain to her liege lord, and he grunted contentedly con-tentedly as he knawed them, and stood his club up against the cave wall, and thus was domestic diplomacy born into the world. Aeons of time have elapsed since then, but it has not changed the masculine mas-culine stomach, nor its relation to masculine psychology, nor made less potent the ameliorating effects of a good meal on a man's disposition. When God made a man's tummy twice as big as his head, or his heart, He delivered him over into his wife's hands, and If she has not enough gumption to work her cinch for all it is worth it is her own stupidity. The wise woman, however, never j forgets that beauty may fade, and wit I pall, but that good dinner is always I a good dinner and draws a man as irresistibly ir-resistibly as a magnet draws a needle. nee-dle. No superlative cook over figures in the courts In the ranks of the deserted de-serted wlveK. No man who can count on finding on his own table just tho particular tid-bit that ho most fancies, prepared just as he l'kes it, becomey a-round-the-town rounder, nor are all the ten commandments so potent in keeping a husband nailed to his own fireside of an evening as that gorged feeling, that makes one too heavy nud satiated to move in search of adventure. adven-ture. Observe, ladles, and you will see that all tho Don Juans have, like Ca3-sius, Ca3-sius, a lean and hungry look. The fat men Hover flgur'o as Lotharios, and affinities, af-finities, and soul males. Then realize thnt u wife's best aid in koeninc hor husband is her gas range, and uct upon the knowledge. First Axiom in Management. . The first axiom in managing a husband hus-band is: Feed him. The second is Wait Until He is Fed, and has smoked his first cigar, or pipo, before you make a request of him, or toll him any thing unpleasant Don't meet a tired, hungry, nerve-wracked man at the front door of an ovening with a budget of bad nowB. The poor fellow has already al-ready had about all of the disagreeable disagree-able things to bear that ho can stand during the day, and to dump even one single additional worry on him is tho straw that breaks tho camel's back, and makes him rdar out a surly "No" to tho most reasonable suggestion, and day thlilgB that reduce you to tears. An hour later when he is rested, and soothed and comfortod and the world looks better to him, he will be amenable amen-able to reason, happy to please you, and you may push your affairs with success, as the soothsayers put it. But in managing a husband never forget the importance of waiting and watching watch-ing for the psychological moment in which to tackle him. The third important point In managing manag-ing a husband is to learn to drive with a loose roin. Most wives mako the mistake of thinking that when :i man enters the holy estate of matrimony matri-mony he is committed to a penal in-situation in-situation that forever' shuts him out from any more personal -liberty. Also that they are their "husband's lawfully constituted jailers. That is why there are so many wandering husbands. Any man with a spark of spirit in him would rebel at having to punch a time clock, and produce an alibi for every hour of his day and night. More than that, the forbidden fruit stuff is eternally alluring. allur-ing. Hence the woman who wishes to keep her husband bound, sets him free, and she who wishes his confidence confi-dence asks no questions instead of putting him through the third degree. Any woman who has enough sense to grant her husband a little freedom has h?m so grateful he will eat out of her hand. Play the Husband's Game. The fourth point in managing a husband hus-band is to learn to play his game instead in-stead of expecting him to always play yours. Don't fill the house up with your friends and your family, and exclude ex-clude his. Don't drag him to see problem prob-lem plays when he wants to go to vaudevillo shows. Don't be a wet blanket who is forever saying, "We can't afford this," and vVo can't afford af-ford that," when hubby suggests some little treat. Don't let him go gadding alone because you think you can't leave the baby. Just remember that a man is bound to have amusemeitt and companion- snip, anu someooay 10 laugn wnn una have a good time with, and if you won't qualify for the job there are plenty of others who will. Also that while you are sitting at home holding baby's hand, some good looking lady is probably holding husband's hand. But the only way you can make your husband enjoy taking you out is by adding to the gaycty of the occasion. No man drags along a killjoy with him willingly. Jolly Him Along. Finally, in managing a husband remember re-member that the whole art is summed up in studying your man and learning how to jolly "him along. Do things the way he wants them done. Put things in the light he prefers. Have an interest in-terest in his Interests. Laugh at his jokes. Listen to his stories. Show him off before people. Praise his achievements. Let him see you really love, and appreciate him, and adVlilre him. Heaven knows it is little enough to do for the poor slave who toils unceasingly un-ceasingly to give you comfort and luxuries. lux-uries. But if you will do this he will kiss your feet, and turn over to you his kingdom, for husbands are humble creatures who don't expect much consideration con-sideration from their wives. no |