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Show Bhc Funny Jtdc of Life. AN All-m.l II. Ill I. I'll. S.- il... i i. l. i.. he itanila, "'v'.'.i' ;i,V;',. '',i,'.',i''','l.'.',.'!,'"t'l!',t. 11. v , I I, .i. iii. in,, I tiuh, I .r l,r . inn,, , i u. . ludK, THINKS WMI.I. I IF II1MSKI.F. "lan't It aiiMiine." remarked Mra. Itillina to Ii, r hiialiaml. "Hint I can licver gel it n""l Imrgalti in atioca?" "You did once." aillil tier .lllaliillld. "When waa llialV "When jolt not me." Chicago ltcc-old ltcc-old Herald. II A I T1IK 1 KAltS. rntighter"t;eorge and I are both old enough to innrry, l'npa!" Father "I waa woiulciliig If that waa the only collateral t;iairge had to atart with."- Ilrooklyn Life. M.IXDNKKM OF I'tri'IF.S. Arthur ".Mlaa Flutter Itiaulted me gioaaly; aim actimlly litnled that I wna I'UI'I''." Horace "Well, now Hint yon have got )our eyea open, you probably Won't think nolle ho much of her." lloatuu Trunacript. ciik;a(;o confimknits. . "t waa niiirrled to Hint ninu oneo," aid the tlrat Cliiingo wumaii. "To .Mr. Miin.vnt The Idenf Why, ao wna I." replied thp other. "Voit don't ay! Werp you before or after mei" Flillndelphla Catholic Stnndnrd nnd Tlmea. KVK'S l'UIOK MSCOVKItY. "Ily iil.M'rvliig the fall of nn apple." reuinrked tho iiierallm r, "NewtoU dla-coccrcd dla-coccrcd the law of grnvlty." "Yp." rejoined the demoralizer, "nnd thnuaiinda of yeara prevlotia Mother l'vo discovered the gravity of tho. law by bltliitf an applu." Chicago Nowl. rot i u staht. "How la that couple Hint got mar ried In the biilloou getting uloligV" "Well, when the balloon descended It atruck a telegraph polo and Jar ml tho bride a little, nnd "lie go mad and uilil tlio groom rihovcd her, and Hie groom culled her a liar and the police hud to bo called." Ilidiiiuaiiolia Sun. 1 1 1-: it fouti'm:. Ttlondp "Yea, dear papa la very gen. eroua. Ou tny birthday nnnlvernarlea ho nlniiya glvca me a aivct'clgn or each year I ' avn lived. liriinette (wlthetlngly) "Indeed! That iiiuat have bran tlio money Char-He Char-He Houbledny inenlit when be anld you had a fortuiin tu your owu right." 1'enrMu'a Weekly. II1S IHKA OF IT. Cnllcr "So jour papn and manim nro going to lube you to Luropo will thPinV" Wlllle-f'Yoa'ni." Caller "Aren't you n fruit! to go 01 thp opeim?" Willie "No'in. 1 ain't afraid o' nolli In'. I'vo been vncciiulled." Coaal Hcmiieira Journal. AN IT TO-PATK "kFVOI.FTION. "Well, HilK." anld the South Auierl can cltlaeii, "la carrying thlnga too far In our bnae nml ecrvlle liiiiliillon of Yllllki p met Inula." "Whnt la Hint" "Why, tho Insurgent nml (loverniupnl nttlhorltlca aro having forenoon ami afternoon programmes printed for nil our revoliitioiia:" Toivti and Country. STl'IMO HOY. "Now, reinetiiper. boy, 1 broke the record to-day, and you auw me do it. Understand'" "No, I didn't. I aaw yon break a driver and a braaalo, but I don't remember re-member yon breaking anything clu." New York Evening journal. A COLD, CALCULATING NATCItE. "I'm afraid Hint you luck personal popularity," anld tha conllileiiUul friend. "Well." answered Senator Rorghuin. "I ometlmea have my double alioul the dealrablllty of too uiitch of It. I'eraonul popularity seeina to me to be aouiething which uinkea everybody feel Hint you are naturally under obllga-tlona obllga-tlona to do hltn a favor." Washington Star. A PltKCAimoNAItY MEASCnit. Mr. Kidder "Ah, how-dcr-do, doctor! doc-tor! If you hnvo a fow oilnutca to pure I wlah jou would come over to my hotiao nm. rhloroform my youngest young-est boy." Iir. l'ilce-"Whnt In the nuitlcr with Hie ladV" Mr. Kl.ld..r-"Oh, his mothei' v.anls to couib hla hull'." Harper' Uuaur. |