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Show i i J j; A&yi' V. 31 tying jfotj- I ' W0rhMmT a0'emn V0'cts Kft tJswt f Jfe. ifetarim memory rapiffjMp &cljjojiolciI)fHrforf fells V Zf'X - J Hiiingw a dwpflytnirr sense ' ' ' f";vfe- ' If ' M Copyright, 190S, by The Anocllttd Publlanere' Corporation, Chicago, Ilk - 'i-t ; " i lj1rVliVs I With an Account ol Ilia Abandonment of thai j t Wlnnrllcw "Helilii" Mum or l.rmn Truthfully Tolil by JL &TI1K RKVCHtND EZKKIL LOUDMOUTH? r J In order that the reader may uo-1 I teratand fully the evenla leading up t'y to the nilaadvenltirea herein ael forth, 1 a brief akelra of tha author la necea-1 1 amrjr. I Tba He.erend Etekll Loudmouth ' bad bun the paator of a colored ahurch In Inillanapolla but owing to " A kla Inability to recugnlae tba differ- j ' F anra between tba dibit and credit alda at tba church a collection acrounta f vaa depoaed; and drifting to Chicago had ao effectually "bacaalldiled" that I tba aolo remalna of hla mlnlaterlal Ufa appeared In bla coatuma and the anctloua uia of large and Inappro- rrlale worda Ilia erery day dreaa Iaonalated of the regulation mlnlaterlal mlnlate-rlal gmrb; top bat. frock; or aa ba armed U "Jim Bwlgeer" coal, black to-eusera and white choker, ueam. Tba Reyerend A J ''ii!,M Kieail apent , J s. 'C(f moat of hla wak- , T,,a-'( nour ln ln I 11 iT J Tarloua reeorla 1 -JLt irV'' wh,r ,h "n- I l II V U of bla ,1 J ' . 1 1 ' color moat do il ' lt.'.f congregate ; tak- i M srsa f V By''' might aend In V.yjj the way of re al freabment, and r volubly thank. F J lug tha "Ix.'d" S for tha dropa H J and c r u m b a awaaa' which full to bla a bars. Naturally the fare In both forma bring of an uncertain quality, the tire tie of famine wi're In an Inverse ratio to the time of plrnty anil In ' conerqur-nre the talk of fca .ta to come j 1 ocrutilt"! more hu'ira thnn their coa- I euuii'tlon. On thla artw ular orca f Hon tba conversation bad turned on I tba value of poachea aa both a lucloua and nutrllloua dirt, whereat tha ltev. felxokil took tha floor. "1 don't keer how high a dahkey glta up In de worl', nor how much lak whlta folka ba trloa to ark, he'll coma right hack to hla natch'ul ae'f, ef you ahet 'lm up In a room alona wld a watah mlllun. An' da white folka lake watah mlllun. tool Did you know It? 'Deed dry doral Dry ain't no 'nlggah problem' when It cornea to watah mllluo! Wy. when I wui paa-tab paa-tab uv a tittle chu'rh In Injunapita, ma 'n Jeema Whttcomb Klley eat many a good ola mlllun togetberl An' Riley ho' kin eat! Wy, ef you wua to tet 'lm down 'mungit a pti'el o' dahklra, an' put 'em all lo eatln mlllun, yon couldn't tell f'om 'tamlnln' da rlnea which wua Rlleye an' which wua da cullud folka't Tina man, dat Riley la 1 made ma ae'f 'qualnted wld Mm In Injunap'lla, an' uaed to go up an' tetch 'lm almoaa any time 'for ma chu'eh' dat wua ma ola racket. (Co'aa I apent da money aa I pleaied.) An' when I'd git broke, I go tetcn Riley ag in. He wui dead eaiy to wo k gib 'Ire any ole aong! Ohl I wua atrlckly lo II, 'tol 1 went, lak fool, an' ap'llt ma ar t wld 'Ira. I 'apeck while I'm at It, I bottab tell you bow I coma to do It. "Went to hla hotine ona day, I did (great, big. aqtiare hotiae made outen red brick itan'a on Lockerby Street. I knowa right whah It la bin dab mo' tlinea dtn I got flngera an' toea), 1 an' I rung da do' bell, an' aen'a In wo'd 'at 1 wanta to aea Riley on 'po'tant bii'tnrae. Putty anon down ho come Torn hla etiuly. 81: 'Ure'r Itllcy, dnra you know mllluna hu Konn up to fo'ly rente, an' atlll a-rlln'?' a-rlln'?' He: 'No Reverent; ain't It orfuir H I: 'Yen. an' I don't "poae to imy It!' Be: 'Whut j-nu rln' to do? , We mm' hab mllluna to aatl' B'l: 'Rr'er Riley, dey'a Iota o' fahtni 'roun' byeab, an' on dem fnhtna dey'i hrapa o' mllluna; an' de fahmaha 'ud ba wlllln' to donate 'em to you mow any night you'll come arter m 'vlilln'- dey caln't ketch you.' B'l: 'I'm goln' out to try ma luck to night, an" I callrd 'roun' to aee 'f you'd no wld me. B'l: 'Ko'ty ccnta tnh a watah mlllun la a outrage!' "He went to niun.blln' aump'ln' 'bout 'Impropriety,' 'moral auailon,' 'rharactcr,' 'arttln' high enample," an' ona timing another; an' a'l: 'You caln't eat dat!' An' t aee I'd atruck a tendah apot In 'lm. 8'e: 'Well, Reverent, Rev-erent, rail 'roun' to-night 'bout ten o'clock, ef de weathah'a fair, an' I'll thalnk about It.' "Went bark dat eb'nln' aa Ood would hab It an' Riley aay: 'Walt 'HI I git ma hat.' An' off wa put down de atreet apllttln' Injunap'lla wide openl Riley had a ao't o' hop-light lij P. , Tha Reverend Loudmouth Takea Hit Floor. atep, an' I wui a doln' de Moblla hurt "Cah'd ma out, ha did, about fo' mllea fm town, an' atopped rUht In front uv a big ola fahm whah yog could byeah da mllluna Jot' a-!auhln' ; an' atalkln' an' a-anlgglln' In i,, j ale'bea. lak dey win goln' to bum opto. "'Now.' an Riley, 'dla ole Cellar i here ralara de bra' mllluna ln tie iui,. 1 but he krone a mean dnn, an' dej uj he watchea hla patch o' n ! e tj t a wld a ' ahotgun. I don' know how true t u. "B'l: 'We'll go whah dey'a da bea' mllluna, an' hike de chanceat' B'l: I 'I'm done walked too fur to bank tnh now!' B'l: 'I'm a ola ban' at dla ; builnew- tclbr me, an' you'll wa'h Ultmon'e.' An' '!: 'L'ea' keep cloae 1 together; ao'a wa won't taka ona , nother fur i man." 8'e: "Oreedl' "Well, arter we'd bin In dah a while, an' didn't aee ner hyeah nothln', we j got bol'; an' ralaed up an' went to ' walkln' 'roun' dah, lak wa owned da placa ('ca'aa ma wanted da boa' mil-i mil-i luna In da patch) an' I awah wa got i loa' fom ona 'notbor. But wa wui i daat to boiler. Made up' ma mine to . taae a piece o' mlllun, den Una Riley 1 'n' go home already bad a aackful hid down 'alda da railroad track to tote home wld me. Went up to a atnmp, I i did, an' I brought a mlllun down 'croaa : It 'bnml' An' da atump Jumped up an' tuck arter mat An' I thought 1 hyrab'd a gun go off 'bud-du-ael' Si: 'Dah I breaa Ood, da fahmah'i comln' arter met' An' I aprrad ma wlnga an' flew! B'l: 'Dr'er Riley, do da bee' you kin foh yo' ae'f! Da Bible aay: "Flea fom da wraff to cornel"' An' by dat tlma I bad dona gona mile, an' bad loa' coat, ahoea, an' bat I made foh ona o' ma membaha' bouaea, on da outaklrta o' da town, an' I fell In da do', an' a'l: 'Coma an' git na!" Aa' I fainted plum' away, "Ma merr.bab tuck ma In an' put ma to bed, an' nex' mo'nln' ba lent me a ault o' bla clothea to go homa In I'd dona fixed up a ghoaa atory, an' tola 'lm. On my way home, I atoppad at Rllor'i bouee aea bow ba comt out An' dey tola ma ba wua alck In bed. "Wy. ain't you byern ltr aaa i(y An' dey ahowed ma whah da papaha aald had bin hit In da bead an' bait up an' robbed! B'l: 'Ain't dat a ahame! nlca a man aa ha la!' An I went in whah ha wua. an' a'l: IVen' Riley, whut'a de mattahr 8'e: 'Mab-tahT 'Mab-tahT matttah? Wy. ReT"unt. I didn't thalnk you'd do ma that a way!' B'l: Wbut'd I doT' 'Dor aea he, 'do? Wy, ou broke a watahmlllun orab ma head! 'Afa whut you done!' Be: Ma head hu't ma ao I could bahdly git to town. Poo' 'apeck I kin wrlta none foh a week.' B'e: 'I wouldn't mine It I ,o- but de mlllun win gren!' An' he 1 ailua acted col' to'ahda me arter dat. ! nt I ain't got nothln' 'ginst watah-i watah-i mlllun, all de eame." i " J. I). CORROTHKR8. CopyrlRbt. 19M. ''"unk A Wagnalla 1 eg,, New York. 4t4 IC O A Lul 4 , O AT THEa : WASATCH MINE. ! gk Our coal is the best there is for Jp steam and domestic purposes lilt AT THE MINE THE PRICES ARE -ar J LUMP , . , 52,50 It X STOVE 2.00 J X Patronize a Homa Industry. r . -i ' ..WEBER COAL CO.. I 1 1 Do You W&nt Some? 1 1 f2 Whan You are In need of tVJ DRY GOODS GR-OCERJES $ 4 P Go to tho t 1 CASH BARGAIN STORE I COALVILLE. UTAH fo ti JvvvvvivvvvvvVwVwvvr Is whrvt people w&nt and at V J X3he Times office Is Just the i place where you can get It at i prices that will suit everone. ...All Work Promptly Executed VVVVVVrVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVw GRASS CREEK COAL g . AT a ( S GRASS CREEK MINES & ) We have the very best Coal there Is ( 2 on the market for domestic or j ( steam purposes. ( .) ( g WELL SCREENED DOMESTIC JO O fT C ) LlJMP AND STOVE MIXED... S PHU TON,) - ( ) g There Is no shoveling or waiting, as ( 9) we have a g SPECIAL CHUTE FOR LOADING Jj ( TEAMS. ) ( 8 GRASS CREEK COAL CO. c ,i , j |