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Show II Dorothy Dix Says It is man's greatest vanity that makes the financial situation jj so acute in most families. By DOROTHY DIX. The World's Highest Paid Woman Writer;: I Woman's greatest vanity Is the ego-I ego-I tism that makes her believe that she J has thp power to alter a man's nature. Man's greatest vanity la the ners-I ners-I Isity he has to look down upon woman, I aa from a pedeatal, and 10 always feel I her his Inferior, and to sacrifice her, if the occasion rises, to his lordship. I These two exhibitions of feminine and masculine vanity are at the bot- torn of half the misery in the vorld It is the woman's vnnity that causes hor to marry the lazy, the trifling, the I no-account man, the drunkard or the roue, because she thinks, in her blind conceit, that she la capable of insplr-ing insplr-ing in him a passion that will work miracles In his character. it's the mans overwhelming vanity that so often makes him pick out for a wife the brainless idiot, the Billy, heartless, mindless, soulless girl who is utterly incapable of understanding him. much less appreciating him. He wants somebody for a Wife who will look up to him, who will think ho Is a marvel of intelligence, and before H whom he may pose as 8 godling. it Is only the occasional man who wants to marry a woman who is his equal. There is nothing alluring to. the ordinary man in the idea of being married to a wife who is just as well H educated, just as well rend, just as up to the minute on every subject as b is. This is why an little giggling, foolish, pink and white doll baby of a girl can marry forty times where the college graduate can marry once. It also explains why the ratio of di-vorces di-vorces is high among men who mar-rv mar-rv fools, and Is almost nil among men I who marry educated, intelligent worn-I worn-I en It is only Ihe exceptional man and the man who is exceptionally modest, H who la willing to marry a woman who is his equal and to treat her as his equal, and such marriages are sure to turn out well. On the other hand, while it is soothing to a man s vanity 'to be so exceedingly superior to his wife that she is not on his plane at all. it has the disadvantages of being I lonesome. It takes some of the edge off of the joy of Old-Man Know-It-All whose wife is a dunce when she is so stupid she doesn't understand what he H is talking about, and so dull she nev-er nev-er catches the points of his good stor- I If you will observe you will notice that the superior husbands always seek society outside of their own homes and are strong for affinities. It is a man's vanity that makes the financial situation so acute in most I families. The husband refuses to give H the wife an allowance but makes her come to him for every penny she must H .spend, because every time she asks for money it visualizes for him his mastery over her and her dependence i on him. He doesn't mind giving her the m anil an-il ty. He wants her to have all he can I .afford, and perhaps more, but he's H bound to have his vanity tickled by his wife humiliating herself before him 1 'and wheedling him J Another curious way In which the I .vanity of man asserts itself la that ev-H ev-H ery man wants his wife to help him, g but he wants her to do it in a secret, J unobtrusive way that nobody will H know For instance, w hen a poor man 36 marries a girl who has teen trained jto some gainful occupation, he de-I de-I bnands that she give up her situation m at once, although he puts her into a !a 'kitchen where she works ten times as jj hard as she did before, in order to as-H as-H gist him. H , I have seen a girl give up a $50 a 3 week job to become a household 'Sl jdrudge. I have seen her prettj hands M kume( by the washboard and scrub-H scrub-H hing brush, her complexion burnt out M yver tne kitchen stove. I have seen 'JH ther, worn and exhausted, and shabby, ,al doing work for which she was unfit-3j unfit-3j Ted, and for which there was no pay H "envelope. H i Her husband's vanity would not per-I per-I hmit him to let her continue at the iprofltable work in which she was en-jm en-jm gaged before marriage, which was congenial to her and where she was im in pleasant surroundings, because it M ;hurt his pride for people to think he I "was not able to provide for his wife. fa But his pride didn't balk at sacrificing i jher. He wanted her to toil for him. 1 put he wanted her to do it out of a pight. I This question of whether the self- supporting woman who marries a poor I pnan shall give up her job or not when I lphe rnarrles Is one of the most im- M frtant tbat modern conditions have brought to the fere. Common justice indicates that as long aB a wife must M fbelp her husband, she should do It in !9 rthe way that is most agreeable to her- "31 self, and easiest for her, and that If fil she can make $25 a week in an office 'M doing the kind of work she likes, It is folly for her to be forced into a kitchen to do $5 a week work that is distasteful to hpr and for which she has no training. However, this simple sim-ple solution of the problem is rendered almost impossible by the vanity of man, who, when it comes to a choice between his egotism and his wife, generally gen-erally offers up wife. Nor does ihe vanity of man permit him to endure the success of his wife in any public line. About the only thing that a woman can do successfully success-fully out of her homo and still maintain main-tain her husband's affection Is to make a superior brand of pickles or jam. It is the tragedy of a woman's fame that it seems to consume her husband's hus-band's loe. The minute a woman becomes be-comes better known than her husband his vanity becomes as a two-edged sword that slays their happines It Is gall and wormwood to him to hear people singing her praises. It is the bitterness of death for him to know-that know-that he follows in her wake, that he shines in her reflected glory. No matter how the wife tries o soften the situation, how she puts him forward, how good and sweet and loving lov-ing she Is to him, he cannot endure the knowledge that unthinking tools call him Mr. Mary Smith instead of speaking of his wife as Mrs. John Smith. In all the long category of distinguished women there are not six who have had the good fortune to be married to men big enough to sacrifice their vanity to their wives. And what is man's refusal to give to woman the ballot but the expression expres-sion of his vanity, his suzerainty, over her? It's the last figment of his lordship, lord-ship, and that's why he holds on to it with a death grip. |