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Show fhfphillipr f VITAMIN'S AND WORKERS ("A Minneapolis factory has been feeding its workers vitamin vita-min and halibut oil pills to protect pro-tect their health and give them more pep." News item) I A happy factory is ours We do not mind the daily toil: We like the boss and he likes us It's largely done by liver oil; We work and do it with a song, Our faces are a sea of grins; No task is ever hard for us We do it all through vitamins! II A carefree family we are We skip and frolic to our work; We chortle as we punch the clock And never feel the urge to shirk; We gaily sing, tra la, tra loo. And do our tasks quite merrily We feel affection for the boss Through vitamins from A to Z. Ill We thrill to hear the wheels go 'round We dash around like busy bees; The corporation can not do A single thing that will not please; I We hate to hear the whistle toot To tell us that it's time to quit; The little pills we daily take Make each one love to do his bit. 'IV An extra hour doesn't count We feel no urge to watch the clock; When there's an extra task to do We have the wallop and the sock; What if we labor overtime? What if the perspiration flows? A little oil of halibut At noontime keeps us on our toes. V What if the time for lunch is brief? There is the thrill of getting back And finding vitamins to give To us the vigor that we lack; The joy of honest toil we feel, Reacting to its many thrills A worker isn't quite himself Without his capsules and his pills. VI To agitators we are deaf We pay no heed to what they say; Their arguments are quite unheard un-heard Thanks to the vitamin called A; Should we be urged to call a strike, The impulse we proceed to kill Sy paying no attention as We blithely take another pill. VII So three cheers for our gracious boss! And three more for the good old shop! We find that working is such fun It pains us when we have to stop; In vitamins we put our trust Instead of union concepts new; How happy would we workers be If all our leaders took 'em too! CANDIDATES FOR THE FIRING SQUAD A heavy round of shot and shell I favor for the lubber Who in the rain steps on my heel And thus removes my rubber. Malcolm Burdette. "Jimmy and I are adults. So we talked it over like grown people and decided to stay friends instead of being married." Mrs. Betty Comp-ton Comp-ton Walker. You married folks all understand how it is, don't you? L. B. Cruden says that Mussolini Musso-lini is conducting an all-out (of Africa) war. "Don't forget the Scouts' annual banquet Tuesday night. Now that you know the date and that you are to bring your sweetheart or somebody some-body else's sweetheart, we will tell you all about the big affair." Boy Scout Pioneer. Is that a nice way to talk to a Boy Scout? j I Yehudi Menuhin, famous violinist, ' gave his last concert in New York ! recently before being called in the j draft. We feel that before it takes j the concert violinists the govern-, govern-, ment should take some of the saxo-1 saxo-1 phone players. ! By the way, does a bull fiddler get : exemption on the ground his fiddle I is dependent on him? I ... j PORTRAIT OF THE DIZZY ZONE "Crowds packed Lincoln Road to i see the presentation of the new film. I Many notables were introduced. Slapsie Maxie Rosenbloom got terrific ter-rific applause. Everybody knew him. Then came a courtly old gen-! gen-! tleman from Indiana. He, too, was i introduced but the applause was mild. His name was George Ade." Miami Herald. ... Cuba has just had a near-revolt. It had been getting along so peace-s peace-s fully that it was beginning to lose : prestige in the modern world. ... RACE CHART STUFF Pony Ballet Can Step. CotTeespoon May be taken out. Pair of Dice Always dangerous anywhere. Silent Witness Coupled with Yes or No. .Cherry Jam Looks like a spread. CViir. T3ici.it Marr tn rrark I ... I "Wanted Stenographer; per6on-! per6on-! ality. good looks and brains. 521 , Herald Building." Phoenix Repub-. Repub-. lie. j Man wants little here below. |