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Show Kathleen Norris Says: lias Any Father the Right, to Do This? (Bell Syndicate WNU Service.) 1 3sjif?S , f' J They' play -cribbage by the -hour, talking all the time; they are late for . meals, slow about everything, fussy, and with long explanations and requests. We are bfth getting horrbly: nervous about U. ' " PERMANENT 'CUESTS" It seems cruel to deny beloved parents the comforts of your home during their old age, but Kathleen Norris slrongly believes that sometimes some-times this .must be donet She explains ex-plains that no parent has the right to ruin the happiness of his children through his' own self-indulgence. the parents are that selfish. Miss Norris recommends that they be told not asked to live somewhere else. can't go there, even for a visit He has not one cent of his own. To put him in; an institution would break his heart, and also mine. I couldn't bear to tell people where he was. But it does seem like a deadlock as things are now; Frank is constantly annoyed about it, and I hate to have the best husband in the world burdened bur-dened with my folks. Can you think of a way out?", .t , Get Rid of Him. B$ KATHLEEN NORRIS "T EAR Mrs. . Norris," j .- ) writes Blanche B., -from', a suburb near Dubuque, "iny problefn is so seriousHhat it 'threatens' to wr eck my; married happiness. I'm not a- fool, I've been a business woman, I'm. running a home comfortably and economically, eco-nomically, bUt 'I can't work this .one out.' "Plfease tell me what you'd, do in my' place. "Frank-and I, were engaged for-i. four . years before ,, we could marry because his mother' was dependent upon him, and his two brothers ' calmly refused to'do anything for her support. But when I had a eood bank (account and The answer is that the only way out is a hard one. But I have known many cases in which it' has worked, and it' will work 'for ' you. Immediately, Immedi-ately, without any argument, put this worthless annoying old man into an institution. Borrow on his insurance, insur-ance, if need be, to pay the charges at some partly endowed home, or put him straight into the poor-house. That will bring' him to his senses for the first time in his life. In' one case. that I knew an aged 'man-of-the-sea- got a job at the county coun-ty farm, found that he was a natural vegetable .gardener, was permitted tr, coll snrnlus Droduce for is own we were buying: a home we felt that .we could risk it, and we . were, married four years ago. I was then 28; Frank 33. At the time my wonderful mother was running a; successful small, grocery, , with my father (as assistant. Dad proves, the delivery wagon, answered the telephone, tele-phone, and SEEMED to be;lwhat ' she called him,' her, 'partner, but :it wasn't long acfter her death that ;we discovered rthat she had been carrying him all along as a liability, inot an asseti 1 The business rapidly iwenV'to1 pieces. Dad "sold but' for lharf 1 its value,' boilght a- cottage. land aidhe Ws going ra remc- Dad Definite Handicap) " ' j "He i 'made only seven payments-on payments-on theiicottaget which he.. lost, and in 11 months chad spent the more than $2,000. the business, had brought. Then he .came.. to us.; That was a little more than a year ago. ,-, ? Shortly, afterward , my :: uncle. Dad's brother, came, to, see us, and. Dad hospitably invited h(m to sJay, paying m,e $7 a week board. This, Uncle Dan gratefully agreed, to do. I was1 at the ..time earning $ 6 .a week in a part-tirWe job, but it didn t work ' 'The two old men got'eyery-thing got'eyery-thing at home into a mess while I was? away; pipe dribbles dirty dishes, icebox left open, bathroom disgraceful-they were worse than children. I would have had to pay a maid what I was earning, and we had no room for her, so it seemed wiser to do things myself. I like housework, and am a good manager and cook. Husband Plays Sad Role. -Now my life is simply that of a board-house keeper for two rather exacting old men. Uncle Dan scrupulously scru-pulously pays me a dollar a day, if e goes away for three , dayi to see h?s married son, he deducts that money. Of course this doesn't pay of course my husband profit! and eventually turned into a useful member of society. In another an-other case ah old woman made herself her-self so helpful that the good nuns placed hef ih the' position of head . pook, and she was able to send money mon-ey to a daughter who was in financial finan-cial difficulties. A man of 64 can be busy and ha'pjy If he wants to be, and' if your father is persistently critical 'aricf miserable despite all that a good daughter can do, he deserves de-serves nothing better than the poor-house. poor-house. 1 Or better, find some country farm where -a'woman will board him for $25 or $30 a month. There are many such places. Let her wrestle with his peculiarities. Ask your brother for another, $5 and make up the rest yourselves. Don't Discuss It, Do It. Don't discuss it with him at all. Just drive him there and say: "Dad, your things are aU in the back of the car. Here's where you get out." If Uncle Dan decides to go with him so much the better. But get rid of them both with the same speed that they would have gotten nd of burdensome old relatives some 40 years ago. Old fathers and mothers moth-ers can be delightful and contributory contributo-ry members of the family; but if they don't choose to be, then surely they don't choose to be, then surely you and your Frank are not the persons per-sons to shoulder the ensuing unpleasantness. unpleas-antness. It all depends upon you, now, and upon your capacity to face a few unpleasant hours rather than a lifetime of slavery- Every human being ought to plan for his or her old age, work for it, definitely arrange for it. Only a part of such foresight need be financial' finan-cial' the keeping of friends, the privileges priv-ileges of service, the capacity for earning a modest living are all as possible at 60 as at 26. No human being has a right to inflict his company com-pany upon a young married pair, be his claim that of father, uncle, mother, mother-in-law or any other Nothing destroys the security of marriage so quickly as to have an uncongenial person planted in the home a person whom only death will remove. It will be a poor satisfaction sat-isfaction to Blanche. 20 years from now to realize that she not only sacrificed Frank, but her children and her home to this spoiled old desDot. doesn't like finding the bathroom occupied when he gets home; toe nig Paper scattered about; toe comfortable chairs P"-ernpted He differs with both toe others politically politi-cally and they argue and taunt him and if he holds his tongue they feel Sumphantly that they have scored. They Play cribbage by the hour, tolWng bU the time; they are late or meals slow about everything, ussy and with long explanations and Quests. We are both getting horribly nervous about it, and t . especially trying to me because I t child or children, and it S be m.ible to have a bab, to toe house with one bath, two bedroom., and four adult occupanU Uncle Dan is rather sweet and ki Dad is exacting and 816 ro' He . and slightly iame T t aUca have a brother from sciatica. for rkeep bu" he demands that . My brother's wife will ve'nh, do with Dad. so be |
