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Show Mifph'Upr W Wff WNl Srmk THE CAUTIOUS SALESMAN ("The automobile industry is asked by the Federal Trade commission to adopt a code. Under it there must be no exaggeration ex-aggeration of gasoline mileage. And in selling a second hand car strict truth as to its history is demanded." News Item.) Customer (interested in a new car) This looks like a wonderful car for the money? salesman wen, 1 wumun i warn to go that far. Customer It's by far the best looking Job on the market today. Salesman (ever mindful of the f" code) - Suppose (Wj f. we just say one JvXlJ of the best, and avoid all chance I W','';'' 'h of trouble. V Customer (still '-'i I elated) What is I J ' the horse power? jEPTl f J V Salesman (hes- Ss&i-" itatingly) I understand un-derstand direct from headquarters that it is ninety horse, but I would rather not say so on my own responsibility. re-sponsibility. Customer Has it four-wheel brakes, shock absorbers and the new magnetic shift? Ralpcman The ratfllnue. which I have every reason to believe is correct, cor-rect, says so. It is my belief that it has. But if you decide to take this one I will crawl under and check up to make certain. In fact, I would feel it my duty to do so. Customer How many miles does it give to the gallon? Salesman (who has been dreading dread-ing this one) I was afraid of that. And you will have to accept whatever what-ever I say as being my best opinion. opin-ion. The factory says it will do twenty to the gallon, our sales manager man-ager has been heard to claim twenty-four and we have customers who claim they only get eighteen. Washington Wash-ington thinks nineteen is a better estimate. I would be inclined to string along with the government and avoid criticism. Customer (now a little less enthusiastic) en-thusiastic) Have you any good used cars? Salesman That is a question we have to be very careful about answering an-swering these 3T days. Here is one gjjjSb that came in yes- K xltY iV Customer (look-I (look-I " over) Has .f f i een driven . J 4 I Salesman It Ik I E9Tnlfr dePends on what ib- cuSlut' Is meant by "much." I try to avoid the word as having too many shades of meaning. Customer (pretty tired of it all by this time) What I mean is how old is it? Salesman The serial number is 678456, and, according to the records, rec-ords, this makes it a car manufactured manufac-tured in 193a. Customer How many miles has it gone? Salesman (wincing) The speedometer speed-ometer says 11,000 miles. The owner own-er has given an affidavit swearing that the speedometer has not been tampered with. Our office manager certifies that it has not been changed or fooled with here. I can say nothing more. Washington is very strict on this point. Customer Has it Salesman (with an air of finality) -Now, I'll tell you what to do Take it out. Run it for a month or so. Make your own decision. Then make us an offer. THEN I'LL PUT THE WHOLE PROPOSITION BE FORE THE PROPER FEDERAL OFFICIALS AND WE'LL SEE ii we can all conclude the deal ,iih CLEAR CONSCIENCES 1 . HO HUM! When people grow lyric about the spring, . And gush over bluebirds and daffodils; daf-fodils; Wrens building nests out of grasses and string; Only taxes I see, and overdue bills Blue of the jay is the hue of my mood. ' Chirp of a rnhin hri- his head; " tU"e on Give me a crow, though his manners man-ners are rude- Hfi ofareWd!yS ta bl3CkI 3m tired The estate of John D. Rockefeller has succeeded in getting Lakewood angthderuckhere- -Peo . SPRING Sniffy colds, forsythia Daffodils and men with pick Pussywillows, funny hats Love, hand organs, baby chicks. Fishing pamphlets. grass secd Painted varnish, spring., Robins, fleas and liver pads-Doc. pads-Doc. I can'thake off this fiul The home builder' i . "Now, Uien lot'! . if ' Words: Tas, If any.'" UP U,e c' |