UK3HT AND AIRY. Th Departure. Twas elvn o'clock He had started to go. And his hat he nervously fingered, A 8i ih(y stood in tlio hall -Mary Jane and her beau, And he ifnrwl. and lingered, btjI lingered. AJjd he lijuteruil, nnel inhered. Mil linserod. and linsrpd. And liDijered, and liuifored, aud linffered. Aid Unbred, al Unfferetl, and lingered, and TlSijered, While his hat he nervously flnirered. Cbicago Tribune. A Pen. tout Thief. 8cna: A Police Court. Couusel for the 9efei.se My client ha a claim on th In 4tilffenee of the court, for ho only took ten feancs without touching the pocketbook. Vhicb contained .000 francs. (Hore the pcfoaHer bnwrt into tears.) Jrftt.aHate (affected)- Then yon are MBtyT FrisoaerVe, for not seeing the pocket-beek.l pocket-beek.l Vie Einslenne. CoHvys tTsefut Leswn. "I)o yon keep corumeal?" inquired the nan vnlb the baiket on his arm. "i'e, tr," said the grocer. "We sell it M$vf wneb do you Tvnnt-f" "Did 1 gay I wanted any?" mildly asked tke was with bhu Uisket. Ah4 ke wnt out and hunted up another yieejy no re where the salesmen were uot qtfite se mart. Chicno Tribune. True Consolation, Mw fweet the usss of philosophyl kr Vkibh fi ta assured, in time adverse, 1b4t aewaesrar vrretchd thing may be, 'Bere'll doubUe eoiue a time vLu ihey'll Harper's Bazar. No Chui. , Bceter Uui. No wonder you are drift leg iat eoneamptiou, when you haven't taken oft your summer underwear. Why feS yeu get aome heavy flannels for win Pfcint Well, tloctor, since i hnve bet'-u Hig b you I can't affonl HnyUing ex ttA. dtwthier ami KurtrlMhei-'. - j Hai-.lIriiok. Eiiat Cii'piiJf-propo5ed to Miss So:n .. ' ! UHiut. . :,. -twiiaWCiiappie I)eh me! and did ths .. v; 'JfgnaM Mpt yon? Itt GVppi Yaas; but 1 bwoka the tr tyytsM ta ujy .wousecs. and I fel so badly akwU la. Clothier and b urnisher. Trustworthy. Vest VHlfiully ska i&sed around tFituo yaaviifal loom her miDd anfolded, Aw wwcsed, though aha made no sound, mw wail that back hairpin ivas hnhliur;. -New Vork Herald. TLe t'aual Afterthought. JSleial (wildly) 1 want to see the owner f bat aniraad building in which forty taapit padshed yesterday. erYa He is not in. "Wkase is he?" "He's gene out to inquire the price of fit eseapes." New York Weekly. Habits (if the Night. "Daughter, isn't it getting late?" a3ked Mr. Uhhb, as he peeped into the parlor at lls8 aiad interrupted a conversation be-HKei be-HKei her and hof- best beau. -. "Yea, papa," cepli&d Miss Muun sweetly, "tt ajually does about this time of night." Biseklyn Lite. Extremely Pleasant. Mav pleasant is ft every mora,. JL) ea the oilcloth floor you ii?ht, . ytiih frigid feet to grope for hours For elippere that are out of sight. Clothier and Furnisher. Uuch to Be Desired. "h, that Biuat be too lovely for any-tkuig,"aid any-tkuig,"aid Hortensia when she read an aeeffUHt ef a atae robbery in the far west. -LrIy te be robbed ?" asked UueleJohn. "lifvely to be held np," said Hortensia milk a testate blush. Boston Transcript. A Distinction. ", Hatty, I told you not to tell any m Jur sister is to be married," said uni. "I (iida't tell any one," returned Harry lHtly; "I wiiispered it to a boy in akel." Harper's Bazar. j Two I'Ictures. laeh night, before he married her, In eveninr dresa he'd call: But aow ia alippera and shirt sleeves He promenades the hall. Clothier aud Furnisher. K.dnaing His Tfe!cht. "I Sen't believe you are quite as heavy I MP were," said the barber to Cumso, etarrtag the process of shaving. "Ife, that was really a big slice you took t af any chin Just then," replied Cumso. ke Bpech. eivMmetantial Evidence. "1S"y do you think the cock stole the ajtapagBe last night?" "Seauuse when she went to bed she put tact aaoelfuls of ice in. the furnace and filled the refrigerator with coaL" New Yerk Sun. Our Streets. A natty tlude stood on the curb, Aad leased on the muddy sea. Just tuea a miyhty truck paxsed by, And the dude oh, where wa he? -Truth. The Alternative. "What happens, Johuny, if you sparj ie rsdf" asked the father, who was about 'administer correction. "Yon fish with a band line," replied the jovmg man with confidence, Washiugtoa A Complete Surprise. "How did the surprise party.go orT last uight" "Double quick time. The surprised people peo-ple thought they were burglars, and turned tie hose on them." Harper's Bazar. The Course or Nature. He sighed in his woe. "All my hopes it must hush; My poem on 'snow' Has turned out to beslusb." Washington Poet. r. Snortgrass Was In. "Aniup, did you apply to old Snodgrass fera lean?" "I did." "How did you come out?" "Head first." Exchange. Consolation. I'd freezing In my room tonight, ily nose is turning blue; And yet 1 feel consoled, because Thee flies are freezing too. -Ufa. Cava It Ip ana Guessed It. "Wtat does a volcano do with lava?" asked Ereddy. "ive it up," replied his father, "liat'a right," aaid Freddy. Harper' Yoiuas People.