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Show COOOOOOOOOOCOOC00000300000 I I I I I I I M I I 1 I I 1 i I I I I I I I I MY FAVORITE STORIES I By IRVIN S. COBB 41 I I I I I I I 1 I I 1 1 I I 1 1 I I I I 1 H coocoooooooooooooooooooooo (C.rrlliL) A Scotchman' Conscience The purchasing agent of a big jobbing job-bing concern In San Francisco is a Scotchman. H gar an extensive order Indeed, the total ran Into many thousands of dollars to a salesman for a supply house. Although he had obtained the business In open competition, competi-tion, and by virtue of tho excellence of his wares and the low figures he quoted, the salesman felt gratitude at being favored and sought a way to show It. He knew he dare not offer the Scot a commission ; likewise a gift of money, he figured, would be regarded as an Insult. He had an Inspiration. The Scot, he noticed, constantly smoked cigars. So the salesman excused himself for a minute, slipped out to a cigar store and bought a box containing fifty of the finest Havanas the tobacconist carried In stock. The price for the fifty was fifteen dollars. He brought the box back under his arm and asked the purchasing agent to accept It with his compliments. The latter drew back. He explained that It was against the policy of his house for Its buyers to accept presents pres-ents of any sort from those with whom the concern did business. He was sorry, he said, but he could not take the cigars as a present, even though he felt sure his young friend had tendered them with the best of Intentions and In absolute good faith. The- salesman had another Idea : "Well, he said, "I hate to throw these cigars away. They are of no use to me I smoke only cigarettes. I wonder If you would buy them from one? there's no harm In that, I'm lure." "What would you be asking for them, laddy?" inquired the prudent Scot. "I'll sell the whole fifty to you for a nickel," stated the salesman. The purchasing agent lifted one of the cigars from the top row, smelled It, rolled It In his fingers and eyed It closely. "Very well," he said, "at that price, I'll take four boxes." All According to Specifications Specifica-tions "Now then, children," said the Sunday Sun-day school teacher, In her best Sunday Sun-day school teacher's manner, "the lessen les-sen for today Is about the Prophet Elisha. Can any little boy or little girl here tell us anything about Elisha?" "Me," answered a ten-year-old urchin, holding up hlg hand. "I can tell about him." "Very well, then, Eddie," answered the teacher. "Now, then, all the rest of you be nice and quiet while Eddie tells us about the Prophet Elisha." "Well," said Eddie, "Elisha was an old bald-headed preacher. One day he was goln' along the big road and he came past where some children were playln' In the sand, and they laughed at him and poked fun at him and called him names and hollered, 'Oh, look at that old bald-headed man I That made Elisha hoppln' mad and he stopped and turned around and shook his fist at 'em and he said, 'Don't you kids make fun of me any morel If you do I'll call some bears out of them woods yonder and they'll shore eat you up.' "And they did and he did and the bears did." He Lacked Storage Space Congressman John K. Hendrick of Kentucky, now deceased, was notoriously notori-ously soft hearted. He was sitting in a courtroom one day when a young and struggling member of the local bar, who was not especially renowned for mental brilliancy, undertook to read a petition In a divorce suit and speedily got himself badly tangled up In a confused maze of legal phrases. The Judge undertook to set the young lawyer right, but the only result was to tangle him worse than ever. The Judge was showing signs of losing his temper when Colonel Hendrick arose. "I hope, your honor," he said, in his courtly speaking voice, "that you will bear patiently with our young friend here. He Is doing his best." "I know that, Colonel Hendrick," said the Judge, somewhat testily, "and I Intend to bear patiently with him. I am merely trying to give Mr. So-and-8o an Idea." "Your honor," enld Colonel Hendrick, Hend-rick, "don't do tt. He's got no place to put It." Not This One: The Other One .There formerly were two Coveleg-kle Coveleg-kle brothers playing In the big leagues. One day Harry Coveleskle was pitching a game for Detroit against the Yankees at the Polo grounds in New York. As Damon Runyon sat In the press stand an attendant at-tendant handed him a note which had been sent by one of a group of spectators spec-tators in a grandstand box. The note ran as follows: "To settle a bet, please state which one of the Coveleskle boys this fellow Is?" Hunyon turned the note over and made his answer on the reverse side l of It. I "This,' a wrote, "U the other one I" |