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Show Kathleen Norris Says: No Age Is Safe for Marriage (Bell Syndicate WNU Service.) Lolita will be IS in April. She and hen tell me they will be married that day, with my permission if possible; but married mnyway, with or without it. By KATHLEEN NORRIS AN any marriage turn ( out happily when the - bride is only 18," a Texas mother writes me, "and when the husband, only a year older, has never done a day's work in his life, but has to depend upon his father for support? "This is the case with my only and adored child, Lolita," Loli-ta," the letter goes on, "and it is breaking my heart. For weeks I have been unable to sleep for more than an hour or two at a time, lying awake practically all night worrying, worry-ing, worrying, worrying. Lolita is madly in love, Leonard Leon-ard is as crazy as she is, and their plans for the future have about as much practical sense as if they were babies of 3 and 4! "Leonard's father sends him $75 a month, and says he will continue to do so until the boy graduates, a fund having been left for this purpose by his grandfather. But that fund is exhausted ex-hausted except for something only a little over a thousand, now, and when that is gone, what? "Lolita wants me to give them a three-room housekeeping apartment la my house as my contribution. I usually get $25 a month for it. And she feels that 'if we run out of food we can always run in and have dinner din-ner with Mother.'. Mother In Despair. "This Is so far from being my Idea of a right and happy marriage for her that I am in despair. I am a practical woman with a houseful of boarders; I have supported my daughter since my husband died, but somehow I don't seem to get on top of this particular worry. "Knowing Lolita, I know that she will throw herself into this new situation situ-ation as if it were a game she was playing. For awhile everything will be fun and novelty, and then like a child she will want to throw it all aside. Our religion does not permit second marriages; when her fancy turns to someone else she will have to sacrifice either her faith or her happiness, and it seems to me sometimes some-times as if I could not bear to watch this process of suffering ar.d disillusionment dis-illusionment going on. "Do you not think that Ihe ages of 18 and 20 are far too young for a woman and man to enter into the sacredness of marriage? Do you believe, be-lieve, as I do, that there should be laws forbidding marriage until both persons are say 25 years of age? Finally, do you know of any argument argu-ment or warning that will save this girl of mine from taking a step that may cost her years of bitterness? "She will be 18 in April. She and Ven tell me pleasantly, but firmly, that they will be married that day, with my permission and blessing if possible, but married anyway, with or without It." No Age Is Safe. This distracted mother chooses for her pseudonym "Thirty-nine." So she was not much older than Lolita when she herself was married. Lolita Lo-lita evidently is like her mother. If a girl has been petted and spoiled, indulged In everything, brought up in Ignorance of the simplest sim-plest rules of cooking, housekeeping, budgeting; if she is accustomed to having her own way in everything, being praised and flattered; and if, consequently, she Is impractical, extravagant, ex-travagant, idle, selfish, then she won't make a good wife at 18, or 14, or 30. But if, on the other hand, she is a considerate, self-effacing, affection- ate, practical, home-loving and baby-loving soul, and really loves the young man whose fortunes she wants to share, then the chances of their happiness are just as good as U they were both 32. So what "Thirty-nine" "Thirty-nine" ought to ask herself is not, "What sort of a bride will she make" but "What sort of a woman have I raised here, anyway? Is she going to develop as new responsibilities responsibili-ties come along!" Counts on Mother's Help. Against Lolita's marriage are these arguments: that after so many years of devotion she is willing will-ing to hurt and disobey her mother. That she counts, at the same time, upon much help from that same mother. That when Leonard graduates gradu-ates a year from June he still will not have a job, and the education fund established by his grandfather will be exhausted. And that her unwillingness un-willingness to wait a year or two, at her mother's earnest request, indicates indi-cates a certain hardness. On the other hand; young love is a beautiful and educational thing in itself. This happy young couple, settling set-tling down in mother's furnished apartment, will be all the more anxious anx-ious to prove themselves worthy ol their new estate, because of that same mother's misgivings. Lolita, if she has good material in her at all, will rejoice in her tiny establishment that is In such contrast con-trast to the big boarding house in which she grew up, and her mother Till have the great joy of having her near, and being able to help her with her problems. If a baby comes along there will be another tie, and another great joy. One "Lolita" of my acquaintance ran away with an unacceptable beau some years ago. She was 18, the man 19, and their finances were in so low a state that they rented a garage for $5 a month, and went on their wedding afternoon to "Lolita's" "Loli-ta's" father to ask him for the furnishing fur-nishing of her room so that they could take possession of their new home. The mother was prostrated over the elopement and could only moan feebly that they could have whatever what-ever they wanted. So they took a frying pan and a dish towel along with their bedding and chair. They lived In the garage three months, the husband In college, the wife selling sell-ing children's shoes from door to door. Toiled for Seven Tears. Social life was out for them, but occasional callers always brought a pound of coffee or a box of strawberries straw-berries to leave In the corner of the garage where stood a table and a gas-plate. After Ned was graduated, he got a job in an oil station. His .young wife had a son, and another son. Her young bloom faded; she grew thin; she was always tired. Two more babies came along. But there was no question then and there is none today that she and Ned truly loved each other. |