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Show iliTliiniji j Can Mitp Affrrtion f 1 JUe a Good Substitute 1 j or Low? DEAR MISS DKNE: What do you think of affection as a substitute substi-tute for love, as far as getting married mar-ried is concerned? I want to marry mar-ry but can feel nothing but affection for my future husband. Is there any hope for happiness? A. W. ANSWER Everything depends on your age, A. W. No one can make hard and fast rules about affectionate affec-tionate marriages in general but a good many points must be considered consid-ered before undertaking such a relationship. re-lationship. Young people should marry for love, and no nonsense about it. For while we're young our hope of romance ro-mance is high and if it is denied us, we yearn for it all our lives and imagine ourselves cheated of life's dearest gift even though we may be admirably suited to the mates we chose. No matter how much the modern writers attempt to analyze love into shreds, it must still be for the young, a vital spark, a feeling for which there is no accounting. It is absolutely right that young people should ask themselves practical questions about the mates they have chosen, but before they begin their self cross-examination they should first have experienced something deeper than affection, something beyond be-yond reason. Young people cannot afjord to do without the vital spark. They cannot hope to substitute for it, financial security se-curity or good solid affection or a satisfactory sat-isfactory companionship. They must know something of the first careless rapture before they can decide to get along without it forever. But men and women of riper years may well marry for reasons qther than sheer heartburning heart-burning love. A man or a woman who has known lovet and the bitterness of renunciation or disillusionment, may find peace and happiness with a tolerant, toler-ant, understanding, sympathetic mate. Spinsters and bachelors who have been lonely for years find peace and contentment in marriage, even though the tender passion be denied them. A man may marry for the second time and be as happy with the wife he has chosen to keep him comfortable com-fortable as he was with his first wife who gave him love. A woman may divorce her husband, whom she once loved passionately, and settle down serenely with a man for whom she has only affection. Middle-age has learned love's lesson les-son and is willing to compromise with life and take what's offered for contentment's sake. Loneliness and middle-age can make marriage seem a haven of refuge even though it be a marriage of convenience pure and simple. DEAR MISS DENE: I have quarreled quar-reled with my mother and now live in an apartment of my own. I seem to be losing my friends. I do not tell them of what has occurred, and so have to make up reasons why they cannot see me in my home. I hate the feeling that everybody every-body is whispering about me. I feel that this quarrel may have cost me dear in more ways than one. V. D. ANSWER Cast a veil of secrecy over your life, shroud yourself in mystery and at once you set the whole world whispering. And the chances are that the world being what it is, some of the whispers will have a distinctly unpleasant flavor. If you are going to make a mystery mys-tery of where you live and why, the more conventional of our friends will begin to shy away like frightened fright-ened horses. Knowing nothing of the true state of affairs, their imaginations imagi-nations run riot in the attempt to discover why you've suddenly ber come secretive. It is better always to tell the truth however ugly it may sound for the truth at its worst can never compare with the stories your neighbors have already concocted about you. Since you are living a new sort of life, tell people about it The minute min-ute you give your audience the facts they will cease to conjecture, and on the day the conjecturing stops, your reputation will undergo a change for the better. A. L. You have spent so much time and energy in your detective work that one can only congratulate you on the fruit of your labors. A more sympathetic soul than mine would tell you that you had been badly used, but it seems to me that any girl so constantly surrounded with suspicion was bound to get a few wrong ideas in her head. You have refused to trust her from the minute you met her. You have always accused her of the worst. You have fought down any impulse rising in you to believe that she was worthwhile. Are you surprised that after three years she has decided to put some of your suggestions sug-gestions into practical use? I believe this is the first time she's ever deceived you and I also believe that if you took her back now, you'd be doing the one thing which would save you both from misery. But you must make up your mind to put away the sleuth's outfit when you marry her. To live with a house-detective is enough to put any woman into the frame of mind where she feels impelled to go out and do some of the things her charming husband has suggested. C Bell Syndicate. WNU Servic. |