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Show 2about: The State of the World. SANTA MONICA, CALIF. Up in Montreal a veteran veter-an showman says he talks with chimpanzees m their own language. I wish he'd ask one of his chimpanzee pals what he thinks about the present setup of civilization. Because I can't find any humans who agree as to where we all are going and what the chances are of get- P r ting there. In fact, ! i- 1 the only two who ap- fc1 .; rear to be certain j n4 J about it are young fc; H Mr. Corcoran and S4 young Mr. Cohen, . s -S and they seem to &. ..i'"s i? hesitate at times 5 not much, but just a teeny-weeny b i t ' ' . which is disconcert- truiM ing to the lay mind. lrvin s Cobb We are likely to lose confidence even in a comet, once it starts wobbling on us. I'm also upset by a statement from England's greatest star-gazer they call him the astronomer royal, roy-al, which, by coupling it with the royal family, naturally gives astronomy astron-omy a great social boost in England and admits it to the best circles. He says the moon is clear off its mathematically prescribed course. Cash Versus I. O. TJ.'s. ONLY a few weeks ago the front pages were carrying dispatches dis-patches saying the adjustment of Great Britain's defaulted debt was just around the corner. Economists and financiers had discussed terms of settlement. Figures were quoted mainly figures calling for big reductions re-ductions on our part, but never mind that. They were figures anyhow. Lately the papers have been strangely silent on the subject. Perhaps Per-haps you remember the old story told on the late John Sharp Williams, Wil-liams, who frequented a game at Washington where sportive statesmen states-men played poker for heavy stakes mostly with those quaint little fictional fic-tional products called I. O. U.'s as mediums of exchange. Early one morning a fellow senator sena-tor met the famous T.Iississippian coming from an all-night session. "I certainly mopped up," he proclaimed. pro-claimed. "I won $3,000 and what's mere, $8.75 of it was in cash." Autumn Millinery. JUST as the poor, bewildered males are becoming reconciled to the prevalent styles in women's hats, up bobs a style creator in New York warning us that what we've thus far endured is merely a foretaste fore-taste of what's coming. In other words, we ain't seen nothin'! For autumn, he predicts a quaint number with a slanted peak fifteen inches high, which, I take it. will make the wearer look like a refugee trying to escape from under un-der a collapsing pagoda. Another is a turban entirely composed com-posed of rooster feathers. A matching coat of rooster feathers feath-ers goes with this design. But in the old days they used hot tar. A third model features for its top-hamper top-hamper a series cf kalsomine brushes sticking straight up. Naturally, Nat-urally, the hat itself will imitate a barrel of whitewash. But the gem of all is a dainty globular structure of Scotch plaid. Can you imagine anything more be- i coming to your lady wife than an J ellect suggesting that she's balanc- j ing a hot-water bag on her brow? I 1 "McGuffeyisms." j THE lieutenant-governor of Ohio 1 urges a return to "McGufrey- j in," for settling modern problems. 'Twas in a McGuffey reader that I met those prize half-wits of lit- J crature the Spartan boy who let the fox gnaw his vitals; the chuckle- I headed youth who stood on the burn- j ir.g deck; the congenial idiot who 1 climbed an alp in midwinter while 1 wearing nothing but a night shirt 1 ar.d carrying a banner labeled "Kx- j celsior" in order to freeze to death; ! the skipper who. when the ship was sinking, undertook to calm the -as- 1 tengers by but wait, read the iin- : mortal lines: "We are lost.'" the captain fhouled, j As he staggered down the stair. And then the champion of all the Dutch lad who discovered a l"ak in the dyke so he stuck his wrist in the crevice and all night stayed there. In the morning, when an early riser came along and asked what was the general idea, the heroic urchin said but let me quote toe exact language of the book: " 'I am hindering the sea from running in,' was the simple reply of the child." Simple? I'll tell the world! Nothing could be simpler except an authority on hydraulics who (inures that, v.li'-n tin: Atlantic ocean starts boring through a crack in a mud wall, you can hold it hack by 11:. 1111; ( no sroall Dutch boy's arm for a it' , per. n:iN s. cor.i:. Wrs'rrri Nrv. i r Union. |