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Show I KathleenNorrjsJaxs: 1 ZodnZ-ju,. old-fashioned goodnelhat U "."Z times disappointing husband, with exacting children, is what America perately needs now. . By KATHLEEN NORMS MARGERY CURRY writes me from Plainfield, New Jersey, Jer-sey, that she wishes she could forgive a person who once has injured her. She says she is so made that she cannot, and that her married life is being destroyed in consequence. This is the purest nonsense. To assume that you "cannot "can-not forgive" an injury or injustice in-justice in this life is to proclaim pro-claim yourself a person of limited intelligence, incapable incap-able of growth. Margery's story is that her husband hus-band was deceiving her about money mon-ey for many years. For 14 years Bob sent $50 a month to an old woman wom-an who worked for his mother as housekeeper, seamstress, nurse. When the old woman died Bob's office of-fice secretary commented to Margery Mar-gery upon Bob's generosity, and Margery hasn't "forgiven" Bob yet. She keeps a cool civility going before be-fore the children, but she has moved out of the room she and Bob have shared for 15 years, and as Bob 1 says that unless this sort of foolishness foolish-ness stops he'll get out for good, matters have reached a serious point, and Margery, in floods of tears, has written for my advice. Trust Is Gone. "To think that while I was saving sav-ing and economizing and doing without things," she writes, "Bob all the time was supporting an old woman who had no claim on him at all, and never saying a word to me of that extra $600 a year! He has been a good husband, and we have prospered; I thought myself, a few months ago, the happiest woman In the world. But now I feel that I never can trust Bob again, and what is love without trust? Unfortunately, I'm so made that I can't forgive. I'll bear anything any-thing while people treat me fairly. But once I'm angered good night!" What a strange thing is the smugness smug-ness of these wives who boast of their moral and mental limitations, who gloat over the jealousy or extravagance ex-travagance or hot temper or the hardness of heart that "can't forgive!" for-give!" This is a form of childishness child-ishness that makes it hard for ma to answer Margery Curry patiently. But I can tell you one thing, Margery, Mar-gery, that unless we keep changing growing, Improving, we humans seme into axed forms, and a part of us dies. When you say that you are "made that way" and that it's a characteristic of your family never nev-er to change or never to learn to forgive, or never to gain control of the hot temper of which you are all so secretly proud, or never to develop character enough to live within your income and pay your bills honestly you are announcing that you are among the folk who are incapable of becoming civilized Real women do forgive. Reai women are ashamed of any such boast as that their tempers are uncontrollable un-controllable or their jealousy too deep-rooted to be cured. Real women wom-en grow up. Civilization In Peril. A good many thinking ' persons now are anxious about this tired old war-worn world, and with good "V e must learn to jorgiv , , " I ACT MATURELY Mrs. Curry can't jorgive her husband for deceiving her. The deception was this: Bob, who is a successful and dutiful duti-ful husband, has been sending send-ing $50 a month to an old woman who was his mothers nurse. He has been keeping this donation a secret for 14 years. What makes Margery so mad is to think that while she was skimping and saving. Bob was passing out this dole to a woman who had no real claim to it. But worst of all, the fact that she was kept in the dark on an important family matter mat-ter for so long has shattered her faith in her husband. The old bond of faith seems to be ripped apart, and Margery cannot bring herself to face the situation. In all other ways Bob has been nearly perfect. per-fect. The sudden discovery of this secret has ended Margery's Marg-ery's happiness. Miss Nnrris rpnl.ip that iro must all forgive and forget. In this case it should not be so hard, seeing that Bob was acting act-ing from what he considered the highest motives gratitude to his mother's nurse. That he could not afford this generosity gener-osity is another matter. The real issue is whether Margery can act like a mature woman, and overlook a matter that, after all, is not very serious. reason. Unless we women learn to forgive and forgive and forgive, things will grow worse. Unless we learn to deal honestly with our lives, there is no hope for us Unless Un-less we face our problems-each woman her own, and acknowledge them, and study them, and master them, with the good of our men and our children, our community and our God in mind, civilization will suffer a setback from which it won't easily recover. , " n Ioner question of an individual woman saying that she can't do this and can't do that The demand is for actual heroism-the heroism that sweeps aside Tlights and injustice, with the maprf cence of a strong character ?t 1 .end- dull days ed servicemen a few v"r. need" an army of wives 8g' la each one capST o, solvTn?3 ' own problem, and willing , 8 her to.olvelt.andbyS,"" staggering load of the nVi 8 016 eties and burdens S ? anxl" these courageous wn ead of the Margeryg Curry sTrtnte BCtS tag crowd fta'St teWhln-ca"'t teWhln-ca"'t live honestly can't f' marital disappointment c' .ftand UP with the every dnv PUt and dlsappointmems o,Ve wUUiCS In a bad way, ndeed Ufe' w are |