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Show J H i il l I Hasty Secret Marriage & l ! i Solves No Problems, s 6nl Makes Many. Las DEAR MISS DENE: What do you think of this problem: The girl Is eighteen, the boy Is twenty-two. The boy is not in a position to marry yet although he has steady work. The girl feels that he must marry her soon in order that she may be happy. The danger is that he Is very high-strung and if she turns away from the one she loves, there is a whole crowd of other men waiting wait-ing to snap her up. Would it be possible for these two young people to marry without their parents' consent? con-sent? F. E. L. ANSWER Tell the girl that if she wants to be happily married, she must certainly wait until her hero is able to support her in ordinary comfort However much she thinks she can endure, herself, in the way of poverty, she can have no idea of what an effect the situation will have on her husband. No man is capable of loving a woman romantically and tenderly if she is a handicap to him from the moment he marries her. However heroically he strives to be understanding, under-standing, and just, he is bound to feel resentful, after a while, over the fact that he was persuaded into matrimony when his salary was not yet equal to the job. Tell the boy that if his lady is so highly strung that his opposition to marriage plans u-ill send her off on uild parties uith a croud of other fellows, then she isn't yet ready for marriage. You cant hold a flighty young thing by making her repeat the marriage lines, ft'o girl is true to a man merely because she is married to him. Either she cares for him specially and above everybody else in the uorld either she has a loyal nature and uill stick to him because ol that or else she is bad marriage material and it uill do no good to lead her to the altar in the hope of changing her ideas. As for a marriage without the parents' consent that has never been a practical plan of procedure. It involves secrecy which starts marriage off on the wrong basis. It means that there will always be an unpleasant aroma about the whole situation. It causes endless compli- ! cations and leads to much petty gos- ' sip and suspicion. DEAR DORIS DENE: I am a woman of fifty-five and have ' reached the age where I want some I fun, after all my years of work and j I worry over the children. I am com- i ' fortably well-off, my children have i grown up, my husband is dead. I have a great many young men ' friends who take me dancing, etc. I Sly old friends criticize me for my J actions but as I am extremely j i young for my age and do not look j j like the mother of two grown-up children, I don't see why I shouldn't ' enjoy myself as I see fit. I don't 1 get along with men my own age because they are all dull and stay-! stay-! at-home. Please let me know your I opinion. Young Fifty. ANSWER Presumably you pay for the young men's entertainment, and in return for that you get the pleasure of being taken out, and of being flattered by the youngsters who like to have their amusements without spending money on them. In a case like this, nobody loses. But in the end the middle-aged woman who engages in a fierce struggle to hold on to her youth, loses a great deal. She lose3 the chance to find some peace of mind and some real companionship for her old age. Surrounded by sycophantic youths uho are willing to make pretty speeches if they're paid for them, she is flattered out of all sense of proportion. propor-tion. She thinks of herselff as a budding bud-ding young deb, and she shuns the society so-ciety of those uhose tastes she is more qualified to share. A'o one can blame the uoman of fifty for wanting some pleasure still in life. But if she chooses unsuitable and unbecoming un-becoming pleasures, she surrounds herself her-self uith false friends. She. attracts all those uho are u illing to companion her for the sake of uhal they can gel from her. Too often she is an objrrt of ridi-' ridi-' cule to the very people she is befriending, befriend-ing, llecause she. uill not admit thai the. has part her teens, she uill listen only to those uho are uilling to soothe her vanity and naturally she. doesn't find that brand of admirers among her true friends. You can be young all your life. You can keep a young spirit and a young heart. You can enjoy the friendship of young people. You can make yourself beloved to young and old with your clear mind, your tolerance, your understanding and interest. But you cannot dress yourself up in Imitation of what you were nt sixteen and hope to recapture the glamor of youth. The more you absorb ab-sorb sycophantic flattery Into your system the less clear your mind becomes. be-comes. The more you insist on being be-ing flattered, the less tolerant you are of those who won't play up to your vanity. The more you think about looks and the necessity fur keeping up a llarnboyatitly youthful appearance, the less Interest you have In other people and their lives. With the result that you prepare a lonelier old uge for yourself than If you'd accepted the fact of your fifties fif-ties gracefully and had chosen Interests In-terests and occupations which would have kept your mind active but not Jaded with iirliliclal rxcitrmctils. G Hell ElviKllculn. WNU Bervlt.. |