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Show BEGGARS CAN CHOOSE . CHAPTER XII Continued 11 . The desire to wound lilm filled her ' fc-lth a burnlDg fever. At least then he would not be able to go for weeks without remembering her. lie would think of her. His attention, his desire would be hers. For an Intolerable moment she yielded to the pain of this desire, then rose, wrapped her faded cotton kimono over her bathing suit and turned to face Lorlng. For a moment mo-ment she was struck with a bright memory. His composure, his self-assurance were broken by the upthrust of some powerful emotion. She was n girl again, at her mother's house, running run-ning up the front steps, he stood at the top In her way, looking at her eagerly, his face so alive, disturbing. They stared at each other, remembering, remem-bering, caught and held together. But Ernestine thrust this clamoring thought away from her. This man was Lillian's Lil-lian's husband. This was Jonathan Hamilton's son, her father's son-in-law and adviser. He was one of her own people. "You haven't been kind to Will, any of you," she stammered, trying to bring the talk back to commonplace. "He hasn't accepted our kindness," Loring answered slowly. "It Isn't only that he's proud," said , . Ernestine. "He's vain as well. He's different. He's entitled to his vanity." "At any cost?" asked Loring In a low voice. "I think there are men who would consider pride too dear for your happiness." Ernestine's thoughts were In confusion. con-fusion. Loring's words came back to her, nothing but poverty and child-bearing child-bearing and distress. Oh, she had had more than that from Will. She had had life ! But was there to be for her no permanent peace and security with Will? She doubted it. And this doubt .brought another: Has my whole instinct in-stinct concerning Will been false? Is the family's judgment of him correct and my own mistaken? They think him erratic, trivial, unsteady, a failure fail-ure O God In Heaven, help me She turned away from Loring and took the path up through the shrubs toward the lawn about the house. She stumbled along as though to get away from the weakness, the tears, the fearful fear-ful doubts that assailed her. A motor had been humming along the lake road as she advanced from the water's edge, and now abruptly the enr had entered the Inlet road and swung about before the house. At this Instant when she became conscious con-scious of It nnd Its arrival, the air was still tilled with the grinding of brakes, while the doors of the car spilled open and It disgorged three of four men who were carrying others. One of the two men lifted from the car was either dead or dying, for a thin bright stream ran from him as they laid him on the grass. Bright red dripped from the running board. The other man was being carried car-ried Indoors, while two tied their coats together to make a stretcher for the first man lifted out. A shout brought Madame I'nstnno from the house. The gardener, the houseman appeared on the run. The whole household was Instantly concentrated with skilled, practiced eilicleucy, so quiet, so quick that Ernestine was still gaping while it was all accomplished. The hose was running furiously across the lawn. The rug was hrougiit from the floor of the car, and thrown Into the lake, with rocks on top of It. The gardener put the hose Inside the car and washed ' tile floor and the running board. Another An-other came from the garage with a different car rug, with a different license plale which he changed In a moment, and the driver of the car moved it up a little, so that the gravel could be picked up in a shovel, and carried and thrown Into the lake, the fresh spot raked together. Now old Grandmother i'astano, an ancient dame who spoke not a word of English, came from the porch, her head wrapped In a shawl, and got into (he car and sat by the window, her thick jeweled hand resting on the edge of the glass. The car turned about and. with a .different driver, moved sedately back along the lake road, whence It had come as Innocent appearing ap-pearing a vehicle as ever, rode the highway. No one had noticed her, there at the end of the lake walk, among the carefully care-fully cut shrubs. Ernestine moved hack and came to the little summer house and sat down In it, for her limbs would carry her no farther. The dreadful ellicieiH'ies of the 1'as-tunos 1'as-tunos had all this time increased her wrath with Will. She could not bear It for him to be l a daze, to go about witli the air which had exasperated Lillian tile night Elaine was born helpless, hopeless and confused. she couldn't stand the thought that he was a failure while these foreigners were thick with success. Kuhy I'astano hud power. He loved money. He had It. He was dramatic and generous with it. He wanted it to show. He loved to emp(ty his pockets knowing well where he might reilll them. And all summer she had compared this man's magic with Will's fumbling. Deliberately she had shut her ears against stories of political corruption, against tales of graft and bribery, of Kuhy I'astano who was 4 generous with policemen. Growing strong and well again, with the children chil-dren blooming under the benevolence of tliis man whose kindness had been Inore acceptable to her than the kindness kind-ness of her own people, because he was Will's friend and they were not, he had nevertheless been Influenced By Margaret Weymouth Jackson ( by Bobba-Merrill Co.) WNU Service to vexation beyond measure that I'astano I'as-tano should be so capable and Will so futile. Now her tears fell from her eyes in great scalding drops. What was she, Ernestine Brlceland, doing in this hand of cutthroats and thieves? Ail of Kuhy I'astano's efficiency ef-ficiency was to her nothing now but filthy rags. All her relationship with 1dm and his family, from the beginning, begin-ning, had been built on misundertand-ing. misundertand-ing. They were too far apart. Not even affection and liking, not even respect re-spect could bridge the gap, the difference dif-ference In ideals, In standards. In purposes. pur-poses. This generous, unscrupulous man, bringing the victims of rapine so unfalteringly into the heart of his own home was Will's friend not hers. She had nothing in common with these people, and she would, never have. And she had shut the door of her heart against her own flesh and blood, because of Will's pride, and had opened it to these these She choked and her throat turned bitter with gall at them. Abruptly she was conscious of an upsurging of patriotism. Her own people her own kind 1 Americans, strong, decent, successful, ardent and clean. Kind kind. Incapable of murder mur-der and plotting. These foreigners looked upon them all as fat geese to be plucked and did not understand the courage, the cleanness, the strength of kindness. She hated them with a furious hatred. The compulsion to be rid of them of all ofthem, and Will as well came upon her. She was crying terribly. She ran back down the beach path and came to Loring playing in the water with Elaine and Peter. "Get the boat," she said sobbingly, "I will go with you." ' It was wonderful to relax in the comfort and security of home again. The children went off happily with old Annie, who had car for Lillian and Ernestine when they were small, and who had always stay4i with mamma, a privileged member of the household. Lillian scarcely left ftiKtiiie's side a moment. l'apa planned softly dfaut going into Chicago in the niornififc, to set through to a finish the detaifs of the trust funds for his two girls" Loring kept his distance, reading and smoking by the table at the far end of the long porch. Ernestine was almost asleep, relaxed and comfortable in her body for the lirst time in many weeks, and she was almost inattentive to papa's voice going go-ing gently on with plans. "1 will deed the Sheridan road house over to you, darling. Mamma and I will be In New York most of the time, but when we are in Chicago we will stay there with you. Loring told us that you would come back sooner if I withheld your settlement." Something clicked in Ernestine's mind a small sound, as though a lock had been unbolted. But she went on to sleep calmly enough, carrying down with her Into unconsciousness her trouble and her pain. Loring said she would come back papa had been so willing to obey her wish about not having her money, because Loring said she would come back the sooner. She slept deeply, all through the long evening, all through the night. It was the lirst clear flush of dawu Abruptly the Car Had Entered the Inlet Road. when she awoke, sat up under the light cover that mamma had thrown over her there on the porcli swing and looked out ncross the water. She awoke with a conviction.- She could not do this. She could not leave Will. It was Impossible. By what route she had come to this conclusion con-clusion she could not have told. But In her sleep her true nature had asserted as-serted Itself and her mind was fixed. She had done what she had resolved never to do. She had denied her marriage. mar-riage. "Oh, not I not my true self not my heart !" she whispered. "I never did deny Will nor my love. I'll go back today to be his wife for ever no matter what comes." She felt calm and strong now and could look with impersonal horror upon her defection. In the clear light of morning, filled as she was with the conviction that she must for ever choose AVill against all the world, further fur-ther understanding came to her. All these months that she had been hating Will and loving him and reviling re-viling him and saying such cruel things, it had been a deep unknown desire for her mother's home which goaded her. It had been rebellion against the continued humiliation of poverty and disappointment that their hopes and plans had not matured this time Into success. All her mental processes seemed loosened, open. Now from some canny instinct she was presented with a new enlightenment. She was she had been worse than the "gimme" women. She had been for months under the domination of a bitter jealousy of his work. She had been wounded because his activity was secret from her. She had loathed the mistress that he followed fol-lowed his own career. So, wanting him to succeed and to earn money, she had not wanted him. possessed with the preoccupation of such processes. She had seen in his gaze that inward adoration winch is more obnoxious to a woman's greedy pride than another woman's lure can ever be that Love for what he was doing, that excluded interest in his own mind. All her own mind clear at last In the limpid humility born of having failed Will, In intention, if not in conclusive con-clusive act, she could reach a place on which to plant her feet for ever, as far as he and she were concerned. "What have I to do with his work?" The answer to this question in the clear logic of her mind released her for ever from the petty jealousies of the artist's wife. The answer was "Nothing." She had nothing to do with his work at all. It was his own, and she must know it. The old unity she had wanted to preserve was possible pos-sible only as a kind of over-unity, not going into details. It was the ground on which love placed its feet, the sky above love's head, but not the secret of the habitations of the soul. He could not bear a child for her, though his love conceived it. And was not the business of bringing forth something new and bright, even if it were but a comic strip for the daily papers, as secret and silent a process as that in which she was now again engaged? They all knew she was to bear another child. But no one intruded in-truded upon her privacy save by the most discreet and apologetic kindness. And might not the creative processes of artistry be as secret, as involuntary? involun-tary? , She had been resentful as petty men were sometimes resentful of a woman's wom-an's preoccupation and distress in maternity. ma-ternity. Will had been natural with her, casual and kind, and she could accord him the same courtesy. She wept afresh, but not the dreadful scalding tears of the day before. These were unselfish thanking tears distilled from a heart grown calm and good again. "O God, help me to be a good wife help me to be a good wife to Will, O God. Help me to understand him, to grow and change when life demands It of me. Help me to he a good wife." She went to the desk in the corner and wrote a telegram : "I have left I'astano's, and am at mamma's cottage with the children. I'lease come and get us today. Ernestine." Ernes-tine." ' She wakened old Annie, gave her money nnd sent her over to the hotel with the message. They had a long talk on the beach that afternoon. Ernestine told Will everything, all that she had thought and felt, all that had happened the dny before Loring's talk with her, the murder car at I'astano's, her revulsion of feeling, how she had come home, and how, In the night, while she slept, everything had straightened out for her. Will lay beside her in silence, her hand in his, and again and again as she talked her fingers were pressed against his lips. They were back again in the cradle of love rocked in magic which overcame all difficulties and healed all misunderstandings. He told her then about himself and about what he had been through. - "I've made ten or eleven different developments of Poole's cartoon, altering alter-ing them all, and I've made, each one up for about six weeks, and planned the continuity out beyond that time, but I can't sell them. When I sat down to write to you what was there to say? I would resolve to try again, hoping to have some wonderful news for you. I've not been eating or sleeping sleep-ing I missed you so, and I repented so my selfishness with you, and my attitude toward your family. I've not been reasonable, or fair or generous. I felt that you were slipping away from me, because I couldn't hold you because I didn't rate you." These pictures moved Ernestine pro-4 foundly. Weeks of work, and nothing sold. Tlie fear of losing her and the children, and the need to stick at the thing he was trying to do until he did it. She could feel in him a sharp pain of restlessness and discouragement, discourage-ment, and her love poured out on him. "Darling it doesn't matter. I can stay here with mamma all summer. She understands. I can stay here until you get your comic strip right. They understand that it's you and I together always, Will." "Don't cry, darling." "It doesn't mean a thing," she told him and added with some whimsicality, "it's my condition, darling. I am simply sim-ply weepy, and when I think how near I came to doing something that would have ruined all my life and yours " "You couldn't you didn't not even nearly, Ernestine." Peter had come up to them, and, seeing his mother's tears, he began to wail loudly, and Elaine crowded close and thrust out a trembling lip. Will drew their attention from Ernestine, and grav,ely, abstractedly, he began to amuse them. He marked out the old familiar squares. "Make a cat, Daddy make a cat," commanded Peter, and Will, listening to Ernestine, but only half attentive, began to put down the cats that Peter loved so, the squares for a drawing hoard, a bit of stick for a pencil, the firm wet sand making a good plaque. The child screamed with joyous mirth, and Elaine, beside him, clapped her hands with delight. "Tabby cat's got his head stuck in a tin can. Look, Mamma!" Will's attention swerved from Ernestine. Ernes-tine. He sat staring at what he had drawn, as though at a stranger's work. His face wore a startled look. The small squares, in which two ridiculous cats went through a ridiculous adventure. adven-ture. Suddenly he leaped to bis feet and gave a whoop which a Comanche Indian might have envied. "Don't worry our fortune Is made. Can't you see there it is. Not "Mr. Poole's old comic strip in an v way, shape or form, but my own darned old cats? Even the children can see it. Trust me a few days longer." The cats were a great success. When fall came Will was working on the Sun again, in Mr. Poole's old office, under a three-year contract. The cat drawings were valued at sixty dollars a strip the first year, and more the second and third. Six days a week at sixty dollars a day. A full page for the Sunday supplement, in colors, at a special price. The tide of money nnd prestige poured in on them in a startling way. The movie people made attractive offers. Will knew how to make animated movies. The Todds moved into a Colonial home only about a mile from mamma's. They had rented the house "to see how they liked it" with the possibility of buying it in their minds. Will offered the West side house in on a trade, but Ernestine would not sell the little house. "You never can tell," she Insisted, and though Will laughed at this, he did not resist her tenderness toward the house. Papa established the trust funds. Money poured in upon them in the ridiculous and unreasonable way in which money behaves. It seemed now that nothing was too nice for the Todds. The new baby was born under un-der t he most promising conditions, in the Colonial room in the modern and beautiful home. A boy, long limbed and witli a pointed face, like Will's. Lillian was with Ernestine everyday, every-day, and Ernestine noticed for the first time that Lillian's beauty was fading. She hung over the new baby, she was gentle with Peter and Elaine, who H ZZ I 81 it r-i "Of Course. I'll Never Forget.lt." visited their mother at every possible moment. Once when the two had been watching the nurse bathe the newcomer and wrap him deftly In binder and cloth, turning him about in her hands while he gave soft grunts and sighs of satisfaction, and then at last tucked him In snowy flannelette flan-nelette into the curve of Ernestine's arm, with a little spank and tender scolding, Lillian looked at Ernestine with tears in her eyes. "I wish," she said, "that It had been this baby's birth that Loring knew about." Her voice trailed away and Ernestine tingled with a sense of guilt. So that was why Lillian had no children chil-dren I "It's hard for people who haven't children to understand how quickly all the woes of bearing them are forgotten. forgot-ten. I never think of that old time any more, and I'm sure Will doesn't. Anyhow If it had been worse, don't you think Elaine was worth it?" "Yes," said Lillian, "of course she Is. But it was a dreadful time, Ernestine. I don't believe you. have ever known how near you came to dying. It was a terrible time for all of us." "After all," smiled the younger sister, sis-ter, "in such a case an Inch is as good as a mile. That whole dark time it was all so wrong, apparently, for me to have that second baby, and now wild horses couldn't tear her from us. You can't always plan things out." Later, Will came in, and found Ernestine alone. "Itcmember that murder car you saw at I'astano's last summer?" "Of course. I'll never forget It." "Well, the new district attorney has arrested six of I'astano's relatives. It seems those men were killed in a fight with another bunch of gangsters. But these fellows were Pastano's men, nnd the next night they got the others with a machine gun, and now they're all locked up both gangs. Loring lias undertaken to get bail for them nnd get them oft. Of course, it's quite respectable in Chicago to defend the most notorious criminal before the bar, but mamma doesn't like this. It was too close to home." Ernestine could not help but smile at the twist Will could give to that word "mamma." Yet strangely, her mother and her husband had arrived at a basis of mutual understanding and liking since Will had been making his comic strip. Will said mamma was right about things. "Of course she wanted her daughter to marry a good provider," exclaimed Will, "just us ynu will want Elaine to marry a man who can take care of her. .Mamma Brice-iand Brice-iand is too good a mother to be satisfied satis-fied with less. And besides, she's pragmatic. She's nt something to lie proud of now, nnd delighted to have it. I tell .you, Ernestine, I think Loring Lor-ing has worn It a hit thin, with his greediness and bossiness and always reminding them that he made papa rich." Ernestine wondered If she would want Elaine to marry a good provider, and suddenly she felt In her heart a strong loyalty to the difficulties that had beset their ways. "I don't care whether the children are rich or poor," she told Will. "But I want them to love and suffer, and to have hardships I want them to live and value life. I do, Will. I don't i want it to be easy for them. Having! things too easy is one form of poverty when you think about It-" HO BE CO.NTLNXED.) I |