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Show TELL OF TRAITS OF SOME HUBBIES Bewildered Young Wives Have Confab. Two years ago she was a bride, but now she has graduated into the realm of the "young marrieds," and I learned about the strange behavior of husbands from her. Although she Is still madly in love, the passage of two years has revealed certain oddities oddi-ties in the man of her choice that she never tires of delineating. In fact, she tells me that the only way she can convince herself that the youth is not absolutely cuckoo in spots Is to hop In her flivver of an afternoon and make the rounds of her married contemporaries. It is then that she discovers th. t her Bill is not unique, but most strangely . like unto Tom, Dick and Harry. At such times young wives air their grievances and the conversation runs something like this: "The first six months that we were married, Bill hated to see company come. He resented the calls of his friends as an intrusion upon our happiness. But now if the doorbell door-bell rings, he almost knocks me down to see who it is. If it is a visiting gent, he falls on his neck with loud cries of 'Hello, Tom, old kid ! Have a drink, have a cigarette, have anything ! Ho-war-yu, anyway?' any-way?' " This little incident has been repeated re-peated time after time in every home to the mystification of bewildered young wives who cannot understand that however charming, no woman can be all things to her husband forever. for-ever. When this idiosyncrasy is exhausted ex-hausted of Its possibilities they move on to the exasperating retirement of the male behind the newspapers. "My dear, It's been months since I saw Tom alone when he was not screened from view by the daily newspaper. The first thing in the morning he grabs the paper off the porch, and only emerges long enough to peck me over the edge of it when he goes to work. In the evening the first word he says is 'Where is the paper?' Vnd that's the last of him till bedtime." "Have you ever In your life seen anything to equal the way they leave their clothes lying around the house? Dick never hangs up anything. He drops his clothes off wherever he is standing. Actually it's uncanny the way they retain the shape of his body! The legs of his trousers and the sleeves of his coat don't collapse col-lapse so that when I stumble over them it's like coming upon his dismembered dis-membered parts !" "That's nothing to what Harry can do with the bathroom rug . . . you know that cute little handwoven square that I got for a wedding present? Well, so far as I can see Re does nothing but stand on it In the most innocent manner as he shaves, but when he quits the bathroom bath-room the rug acts as if it had convulsions. con-vulsions. It's a positive tumor In the floor! - And then he bawls me out when I leave the lid off the tooth paste! Can you imagine the nerve?" "Bill thinks it's simply terrible when I leave my toilet articles lying around, but you should see his fishing fish-ing tackle. He said the hardest thing about me to get used to was running into spilled powder all over the place, yet he has one special reel that has laid in full view on the secretary sec-retary for two years. Our happiness would be ruined If I moved it! Isn't he crazy?" "Tom's pet names are what get me down. He called me grand things before we were married, like 'darling' and 'sweetheart' and 'beautiful,' 'beau-tiful,' but now if he says 'hello, old dear,' I'm lucky. For the most part he calls me 'fat.' Now I ask you, what is your opinion of a man who thinks that 'fat' Is a term of endearment? en-dearment? Besides, I'm not fat, or at least not very ! Just because I've gained five pounds since we were married he calls me 'fat!' It's insulting!" in-sulting!" "Their sense of humor is the hardest hard-est to put up with, I say. One awful aw-ful hot day we were dressing to go out to dinner when Dick chirruped, 'Honey, would you like some ice water?1 With that lie gave me a glass of water crammed to the top with the grandest ice! Honestly, 1 nearly fell dead because he just hates to get me a drink! I thought 'My stars, is Dick going to be sick or something?' I took a sip of water and it was nasty and warm. I shook it around to cool it off and took another an-other sip but it was still nasty and warm. Dick was pulling on his sock with his eyes on the ceiling singing, 'Do do deo,' In the nonchalant manner, man-ner, the way he does when he's been up to something. My dear, do you know what that boy had done? He'd filled the glass with cellophane off the cigarette packages so that It looked exactly like ice ! I was simply simp-ly furious and he was just delighted. delight-ed. That's a sample of what Dick thinks is funny!" And so the young wives go oh ad infinitum when they discuss the strange behavior of husbands. |