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Show Not Full Yet. It was at a country bull at which the regular printed dance card with the dainty little pencil attached was being be-ing ul fer the first time. A young fellow from the city, noticing that a tout and not very att rue-live young woman was being a good deal of a wall flower, took pity on her and auld: "Is your program full?" "My what?" "Your program." After a monieuts reflection, she aold: "No, it Is tot. I ain't ct but one Ice!" Choosing the Right Present. , Are you In doubt about a certain resent? The Youth's Companion has roved to be one of the best that can le cboeen. Perhaps you have not seen It lately, and are net quite sure. Then let us send you a sample copy r two. Suppose you ask for the issue is-sue containing the opening chapters f Arthur etanwood Pier's fine serial story of life ia a boya' school "His Father's Son." if you look the paper ever carefully, bearing In mind that (here are firty4wo such numbers for a year's subscription of $2.00, we are sure you will say that a better present pres-ent could not be chosen, whether for a young person or for an entire family. fam-ily. For the year's subscription of $2 00 there is included a copy of The Com-union Com-union Practical Home Calendar for 1914, and all the issues for the remain-lug remain-lug weeks of this year, dieting from the time the subscription Is received. If you ask for sample copies we will send with them the Announcement Announce-ment for 1914. THK YOUTH'S COMPANION, Adv.) 144 Berkeley St., Boston, Mass. Unanswerable Argument, The professor of shorthand in a Ionian business college adduced this unanswerable argument in an address to a new class the other day: "We are told that It took Gray, author au-thor of the well known 'Elegy in a Country Churchyard", aeven years to write that famous poem. If he had Inown stenography be could have done It in seven minutes. We have graduates who have done that same poem in that length of time." National Na-tional Monthly. Floored. A crabbed old misogynist said to the beautiful Ethel Harrymore at a dinner in Bar Harbor: "Woman! Feminism! Suffrage! B-ih! W)iy, there Isn't a woman alive who wouldn't rather be neautlful than lnUlllsent." 'That's because," said Miss Barry-store Barry-store calmly, "so many men are snu-$ld, snu-$ld, while so few are blind." A Necessity. It was Sunday and two small boys were industriously digging in a ya-ant ya-ant lot, when a man who was pass-ftig pass-ftig stopped to give tbera a lecture. "Don't you know Chat it is a sin to Ulg on Sunday unless It be a case of necessity?" aftked the good man. ' Yes, sir," timidly replied one of the boys. . "Then why don't you step It?" " 'Cause this Is a case of necessity," replied the little philosopher. "A feller fel-ler can't flh without balL" Argo-aaut. Argo-aaut. He Found Out. Mr. Pinehpenny had a habit of get, tli4? professional service free whenever when-ever he needed them by working some sort of a dodge or other. Not long ro he met his doctor on the street. "Dr. Goodfellow." he said. "I know man who Is suffering agonies from neuralgia. At times it It so bad be simply howls wfch the pain. What would you dn In that caw?" Well. I don't know," was the doc-tor's doc-tor's prompt reply. "I su; pose I should bowl with pain, too" That's Wher. Dh, where sre the girl of Tester-year?" Tester-year?" firhed the sentimental mutt. They're mending the hoe of the gr!s of today." Answered the neurotic cut Problem for Mathematicians. J. Wiley sayt that four year-old w&aii.y ran b made In forty seconds f.gure from thta bow Ions It tikes t make new whUkey. Cleveland 71a la Dato. |