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Show Thrift The aory of a thoughtful boy perhaps per-haps might be no less applicable to certain adufw, says the Chicago Record Rec-ord Herald. The sermon had Thrift" for Its subject sub-ject and the minister vurd eloquent concerning thrift of the real utl mistaken mis-taken kinds. Noting that Jim watched and I stened with all his eyes and ears he spoke to the lad as the latter wan leaving church. "I think the sermon Interested you. sonn'e," he said kindly. "I waa glad to see that you seemed to like It. Are you going to put the lesaon lf.1 use?" "Oh. I have," answered Jim earnest-l) earnest-l) "I waa going to put my nickel In the collection plate, nit after you aald so much about putting money to the bent uses I made up tny mind I'd save It for some real need." aHould Have Advertised. She waa a sentimental young girl and had devoted much time and tender ten-der thought to the home derorat'ons for Christmas. Her surprise may be Imagined when ahe came downstairs one morning and found the decora-lions decora-lions moved around. The mistletoe boughs, that bad been half hidden in secluded places, had been substituted for the holly wreaths and were now hung In the front windows. In plain view of the pasiters-by. "Say, sister," explained her little brother, "you've had that mistletoe hanging np for nearly a week and you haven't had a single customer. You're not up to date. What you want to do la to advertise." Judge. Strategy. "My dear," sa!d the great millionaire, million-aire, -I am going to have our cars locked In the garaite. and I want you to wear the oldest and poorest clothes you have for a while." What on earth Is the matter?' "If we go on permitting the publlr to see ua enjoying luxuries It will not be possible to strengthen the belief that t!mes are as hard as we've been claiming they were and those people down at Washington will be wanting to Impose more restrictions." Chicago Chica-go Record Herald. Some Offer. An enterprising young florlnt. In order or-der to I or re sue hta trade, displayed this sign In his window: "We give a parket of flower seeds with every plant." His compet'tor across the street promptly sought to meet the competition compe-tition by placing In bis window the following fol-lowing announcement: "We give the earth with every plant" In Suspense. A small boy gax-d Song and earnestly earnest-ly at a fat man who stood on a corner cor-ner absentmlndedly chewing the end of a piece of string. Finally the man noticed the boy and inquired: "Well, my little man, what interests you?" "Pleae. sir," the boy returned, "when are you going to pull that tooth?" JudKe. Help. "See that bewhlskered man walking walk-ing with M il Peach. He's hiraute. Isn't te?" "No. he's ber suitor." Marvelous, "llsiel would make a great de?c-tive." de?c-tive." "So?" "Yes; we were at a musical comedy com-edy the other night and she followed the plot all the way through.! Frank, at Least "Won't you a n for ua, Mr. Bel-Iowa?" Bel-Iowa?" asked ltttle W.llle. "Certainly, Will; but why do you askr ; "Certle and I are playing ah wretk an4 we need a foghorn.' 1 Love doesn't make the world go round as ofu-u aa It makes the lover so broke. Tho Guarantee Of a firm who has been making Extracts for over Twenty-five . -years is back of IIwht.H High (irmlt KxtrnrtM All dealers will supply you, for they know that Hewlett! Extracts, Ex-tracts, like their other products, are always good. Poet's License. Robert W. Chambers, the novelist, was talking about a New York pret. "Hla poetry is always awkard," Mr. Oauibers said, "lie drags la words that you can see are there sule ly for the sake of rhyme. In fact, be reminds me of a Lake Sunapee epitaph. epi-taph. "In a little churchyard, overlooking Lake Sunapee, a gray, moasy stone bears this Inscription: '"As sinks the sun with lengthened shadows. So sank and died the good George Meadows.' '"S. B. Deceased's name was Fields, but Meadows is substituted for the sake of the rhyme.'" Philadelphia Philadel-phia Bulletin. Probably Soup. The witness, a heavy-set man who looked aa though he spent a goo share of his time feasting, was called to the stand as a witness In a case of assault and battery. "You were in the restaurant at, the time this happened. began the Judge. "Now tell the court Just what you beard." , "Who, me?" asked the man in bewilderment. be-wilderment. "1 d dn t hear anything, I was eating." A Wife's Real Value. "Nothing." said John D. Rockefeller. Rockefel-ler. Jr., recently. "la holy to the cynic Why, even marriage Is a target for his darts. Apropos of a man whose affairs af-fairs bad become Involved, I aald the other day at the club: "Poor old SmlLh! Ile a got a good w'fe. though. It's when a man's in trouble that be b arrs the value of a wife. "'Yea,' sneered a cynic over b's glass of buttermilk, 'yes, he can put hla property In her name, eh?"" Was Suspicious. The agrlcultursl department nn-v says the crow Is the farmer's friend "I'm." grunted Farmer Wh;rrie. tree. "Won't that alter your attitude toward to-ward hlmr "Not a bit I've got lota of friend t. at 1 m suspicious of." Kansas City Journal. Equipped for Fame. "Why do you think that your hoy Josh wl'l he prom'nent In the pnbl e eye?" "BeratiMt." replied Farmer Ccrn-tossel, Ccrn-tossel, 'he's ra'sln' a kind of whs-kers whs-kers that would attract attention anywhere." any-where." Deprescing Influence. "Si yon d in't like that profession i optlmUt?'- "N.l much." replied Mr. Orowcfie-; "there are times when 1 might forxet my troubles If he were not constat'y advlxior. me to make a terrible effort to cheer up." Washington Star. The Limit Cabe Cadge ewes everybody I town. Steve is bis endit tad? Gab Pad! Why. he coul.'n't even borrow tronUle. Cinclaaa:! F.aqjirer |