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Show Some Shootin'. In a certain small Ohio town lives a skln-and-bones man named, for convenience con-venience and to avoid libel, Bill Skinner. Skin-ner. During a large evening downtown down-town some one drew a gun and fired at random into a crowd of merrymak-era. merrymak-era. The bullet struck Bill Skinner in the thigh. At once a deputation of citizens started on a run for the nearest and. Indeed, the only doctor. It was long after midnight. They beat on the door and yelled, and finally a secondstory window was raised and the doctor's head appeared. It looked in the moonlight moon-light like the head of a man himself recently returned from a big time. "Hey! Doc! Come down," called one of the deputation. "Bill Skinner's teen shot." "Howzat? Bill Skinner? Where was lie hit?" "In the leg." "Well, well," said Doc, closing his window, "some shootin' I" One on the Clergyman. A New England clergyman of ability abil-ity lias been in other work for several sev-eral years, and his son, of five summers, sum-mers, has rarely seen him in the pulpit pul-pit Recently the little fellow heard his father preach away from home, in vacation, and took early occasion to inquire: "Aunty, is papa a preacher?" "Yes, dear." "But is he a real preacher?" "Certainly, Teddy." "But, say, aunty, he isn't much of a preacher, is he?" The clergyman will not soon hear the last of this criticism. Sharpening Himself. When the train stopped at the little lit-tle southern station the tourist from i the north sauntered out and gazed curiously at a lean animal with scraggy bristles, which was rubbing itself against a scrub oak. "What do you call that?" he asked, curiously, of a native. "Razorback hawg, sun." "What is he doing rubbing himself him-self against that tree?" "He's stropping hisself, sun, just stropping hisself." Ladies' Home Journal. Presto Change! "You know Giblets, the parlor entertainer? en-tertainer? Well, he met a beautiful girl just before Easter, made violent love to her, and at last she gave him her hand." "Quite a romance, eh?" "You interrupted me. Elvery one expected they would be married in June, but Giblets broke off the engagement." en-gagement." "I see, another of his slight of iand tricks." Too Dark to See. Mother Now, Willie, wash your hands and face if you are going to the theater. Willie Oh, no, Ma; this is a moving mov-ing picture show. Blacksmiths vs. Gardners. The other day a blacksmith was arguing with a gardner as to which wa3, the first trade in the world. The gardner said 'it was gardening, garden-ing, and quoted from Genesis: "Adam was put Into the Garden ot Eden to till it." "Ah," said Pat, who had stuck up for his own trade. "Who made the spades?" Kansas City Star. Biddys Bon Mot "You'd better hide somewhere," said the rooster to the hen; the boss has an axe in his hand and he's laying lay-ing for you." "Well," said Biddy resignedly, "I presume I have no right to complain; I've been laying for him for a good many years." Boston Transcript. Sure Cure. "Oh, dear," sighed the engaged girl. Im so afraid Harold won't make a good husband. He's awfully reckless with his money." "Never mind, dear," said her moth-er moth-er soothingly. "He'll get over that after he's married." A Beautiful Defendant. "I want you to make the outfit for my trial." "Let me see," mused the experienced experi-enced modiste. "You'll want a direct testimony ult, a cross-examination gown and something dainty and clinging cling-ing to f,int In." Konsas City Journal. Jour-nal. The Point of View. Richard Bixiby's friends say he is jf,d ,e,low. nd his wife denies It Which do you believe? Robert Bo.-Judge |