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Show QSnileAujhilfri of books, and the rather Umitt: r accommodations for them. "Yes," agreed Mark, a bit wis! fully, "yes, but it's so difficult I: get friends to loan you shelves." y Down the Hatch j The doctor was examining i naval hospital orderly for at vancement in rating. "What won!: you do if the captain fainted on th: I bridge?" "Bring him to," warbled fe i aspiring orderly. "Then what?" asked the doctor "Bring him two more." returnti J the man promptly. Lazy Actor John Barrymore was in San Francisco on the morning of the earthquake. He was thrown out of bed by one of the shocks, spun around on the floor and left gasping gasp-ing in a corner. Finally, he got to his feet and rushed for a bathtub, bath-tub, where he stayed all that day. Next day he ventured out. A soldier, with a bayonet on his gun, captured Barrymore and compelled com-pelled him to pile bricks for two days. Barrymore was telling his terrible ter-rible experience in the Lambs' Club in New York. "Extraordinary," com mented Augustus Thomas, the playwright. "It took a convulsion of nature to make Jack take a bath, and the United States Army to make him go to work." Reason for Applause Actor (to colleague) "What delightfully de-lightfully cold weather, Laddie. We're sure to get some good applause ap-plause today from the unreserved parts of the house, while they're getting their hands and feet warm!" Cash on the Brain "What is your chief wory?" "Money." "Oh, I didn't know you had any!" "I haven't." This Cured Him "I used to snore so loud I'd wake up; but I cured myself. I sleep in the next room now." . Scratch! "What makes you so uneasy? Is your conscience troubling you?" ' "No; it's my winter underwear." under-wear." Paradox "I notice that you smoke your cigarette shorter." "Yep. That's because I smoke 'em longer." .Can't Borrow Shelves A visitor to Mark Twain's home commented upon the abundance |