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Show LUKE McLUKE SAYS: No matter how well sho Is dressod, a woman bolleves that if sho isn't wearing a pair ot shoes with colored cloth tops Bho is disgraced. Every time the rag man tomes around a boy always looks longingly at the garb mother is wearing around tho kitchen. When mother gets chummy with a now neighbor woman sho will tako tho nolghbor woman upstairs and show hor tho family Jewels. Thoso consist of mother's marriago certificate, certifi-cate, somo clippings from tho papers about tho marriago and somo old pictures. pic-tures. And mothor will show tho nolghbor a plcturo of fnthor before thoy woro married nnd ask If ho was not n hondsomo man. And mother will get reminiscent nnd will toll what a grand man father Is. And mothor will tako up tho cntlro nft-oruoon nft-oruoon tolling how nlcoiy sho und father got nlong nnd that thoy novor havo a cross word. And then fnth- flflj or will get homo and discover that flsfl tho supper tubla isn't set yet, and flB father will break up tho hall rack R and throw it nt tho piano and cuss k mother In ovory languago from Greek H to Chinese. AmV Onco in a while tho girl who can m not mako her eyes behavo marries B a man who can't mako his thirst be- Abk Thero aro only a Taw suro things flfl In tho wor.d. And ono of them Is R that a fat woman knows that sho is Bf not gottlng fatter. AW When somo men aro going to flW church with tholr wives you would flV Imagine that they woro Jiolng taken flV to Jail by tho sheriff. H A littlo monkey laced baby is at- B ways tho perfect Imago of a wealthy B uncle, no matter how hnndsonio said Ac uncle may he. H Tho smokeless nuisance Is a man fl who sworo oft tobacco on tho first Wfi of tho year and who wants to tell Km you all about his sufferings. t0 Most mon do not caro whether H thoy havo the right sldo ot an ar- fl gument or not as long as they have fl tho opposlta side. fl When a girl haB a nolo In hor B stocking sho thinks it would bo nw- H ful If an automobllo should run Into flj hor. s Muny a man breaks himself trying I ' to ninko botli ends moot. u A man would rather havo his wifo I look fat than help her laco herself ' u so sho would look thinner. jl n Maybo a woman would travel in R U u doublo harness longer if sho would fl w brldlo hor tonguo. m ' As a rulo, when a man's tonguo Is jj ' thick his pocket book is thin. ol Sovoro breezes uncovor a multltudo I n ot shins. I w Any honest girl can toll you that I tho prettiest npplo Isn't always tho M J' sweetest. " foi |