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Show PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS. He "How was the singing at the opera last night?"' She "Heavenly." "Oh. all of the stars must have be'en out." Yonkers Statesmen. Sam "How does this London check suit strike you?" Dick "Don't wear it in the railway station, or they'll throw you in the baggag-e car." Town Topics. "I wonder," said the absent-minded professor, "what I did with that postage post-age stamp!" "You had it at your tongue's end a moment ago," replied his wife. Youth's Companion. Strictly, the rain no longer descends de-scends upon the just and the unjust; umbrellas are become so cheap that it descends almost exclusively upon I the niiwlsp n.-f t , c Mrs. Wiggles "Mrs. Eachet played whist with us this afternoon." Mr Wiggles "Is that so? What score "did she make?" Mrs. Wiggles-'-Three hundred and eighty words a minute." Somerville Journal. Mrs, Spendexs "My husband fre-qeutly fre-qeutly helps me when I go to select my bonnets' Mrs. Freef ut-"Mine always does. ' "Mrs. Spenders "What ? Why-he Why-he never goes with you!" Mrs, Freefut "No, but I know he'll pay the bill afterward- and ask no questions. "-Philadelphia "-Philadelphia Press. J??""6- eoIony ot Englishmen are settling m that new suburban town of ours, said the big real estate oper-ator. oper-ator. I m thinking of calling the town. 'Shilling.'". "That soundsVth! "U- n ' Protested his partner. ! Well its the British qnarter. you I know."- Philadelphia Press vvas only wondering, my dear, where j Jon rmgut have bos.ht thjs Mrs. JonesAt the fishmonger's. I Where do you suppose I bought it'" I ?, Jne&-"Wf11' I bought that pe Ule J S 7ght ',aVe been a r"'nt sle at the Royal aquariinn!"-Punch. Some old quarries of oriental alabaster ala-baster have recently been discovered in the neighborhood of Monte Amiata . near S.cna. It now seems very prob aole that the beautiful coiumns of rJ rcml in t,,e interi"- of the Cathedral of Siena came from those m xne quarries are about to i be worked. i The Rhodesia telegraph system, in-e.uumR- transconiinental line, consists con-sists of 2,6.:5 miles of lines, with 3 163 miles of wires, says the W. shrn Klec-trieian. Klec-trieian. T lie police telephone svstem consists cf niilrs of teiephone; exchanges ex-changes have hern onenr.l at Satis-bury Satis-bury i:nd I n'.a.vayo. There are 02 tet-egrsp.. tet-egrsp.. ciTiees in Rhodesia. "He. paints pictures ail the time, but he never cells .my." -That mustj awfmly monotonous." "jt is; he never has any ehan?c."Ihiludelphia Ree- Husband She seems like a girl vou can trust with anything." Wife-"She is. I ordered some fish last "week, and ne has kept it in the house eyer since. -Ch-vciand P'ain Dealer. -I.will admit." said CarnteA Philosopher, -that oratory is mostly gas. but even gas is illuininatin--not to mention the way it rips things open sometimes." Indianapolis Pres3 |