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Show The Inevitable has happened. Cole Younger 'will write the story of his life. ' - - The new strawberry blonde postage stamp has no excuse for being stuck on itself. , - Every woman believes that the ( I , shortest cut to a man's heart ts by way of his vanity. - ; ; Reflect, again, that many a harmless . , old bachelor would be a howling nuij sance as a married man. , . ' : If only nature had not left off sup--plying her creatures with two sets of ' brains like the dinosaur! onduras is comparatively quiet now. It has only two revolutions and one international war going on. I . What we fail to understand is why a man forging Mr. Morgan's name should . have puttered with a paltry $100,000. The boy who has an expensive girl and a small salary is already beginning begin-ning to worry over the coming of Patti. . Now that Kipling has taken up the subject, England's South African problem may be considered as good as solved. Pat Crowe has turned up in Liverpool Liver-pool as a hero of the Boer war. But y a war shouldn't always be judged by i its heroes. It is estimated that the hens of this . country lay $6,000,000 worth of eggs In a year. But you never hear them . crow about it. - 'V : Salvador denies that there is war . within its borders. The revolutionary fever appears to have failed to take In this instance. The Sultan has his woes after all. Nobody ever suggests him as an arbitrator arbi-trator when the nations have quarrels quar-rels to be settled. A Pennsylvania newspaper that suspended sus-pended publication has again proyed ' " " that there is something in a name besides be-sides letters. The editor's name was Stuck. A Mexican multimillionaire wants to pay off part of his country's debts. What can be the matter with the man? Doesn't he believe in kind words? It is five years now since somebody some-body blew up the Maine in the harbor ' of Havana. But who it was that did.it seems likely to become a mystery of history. The Vermont man who died leaving twenty-six children will probably be blamed by President Eliot for his early decease. He should have made it an . even thirty. With four new battleships equipped with the latest death-dealing armament, arma-ment, the United States will be able ' to establish the most peaceful blockade block-ade on record. The mint at Philadelphia turned out more than 70,000,000 bright new cents ,'last year one apiece for every man, woman and child in the United States. Did you get yours? f Another reason for taking patriotic pride in the revolution of '76 has already al-ready been indicated by President Roosevelt. Look at the large family of daughters it left! 1 The Chicago health commissioner has decided that guests in all cheap lodging houses must be provided with 1 bathing facilities. Evidently he never expects to get the cheap lodging house vote. An American who was engaged in - throwing his money to the birds has been arrested in Milan under the impression im-pression that he has become violently affected with the European virus of tipping.- A Boston woman's club has solemnly solemn-ly resolved that woman can't get along without man. It is to be noted, in this connection, that the Easter bonnets this year are to be just too cute for anything. Qtieen Wilhal.mina may figure in the dispute between Venezuela and the allies. al-lies. , It is too bad to bother the young Queen with this matter. She has seemed of late to be haying such a . ' - -" nice, quie time. ?'--'' - In 400 yeafs, says Lord Kelvin, the ' ' , earth's coal will be exhausted, From . ' . . the way things are going now' the . ' earth's patience will be exhausted about 289 yea;-s earlier than that-1 aturdaj Evening Post. |