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Show '"Orders" the One Thing Wanted "Old Gorgon Graham" Gives His Son Pierrepont a Fcv Pointers on the Duties of a Drummer, When tho Latter Starts Out on the Road tor the First Time. jokes more than an eighth of a cent a pound on a tierce of lard. What the house really sends you out for i orders. Of course, you want to be nice an mellow with the trade, but always remember re-member that mellowness carried too far becomes rottenness. You can buy some fellows with a cheap cigar and; some with a cheap compliment, but there's no objection to giving a man what he likes, though I never knew smoking to do anything good except a ham, or flattery to help any one e-cept e-cept to make a fool of himself. Real buyers ain't interested in much besides your goods and your prices, Never run down" your competitors brand to them, and never let them run down yours. Don't get on your knees for business, but don't hold your nose so high in the air that an order can travel under it without your seejng it You'll meet a good many people on the road that you won like, but the house needs their business. busi-ness. For your own satisfaction I will say right here that you may know you ar in a fair way of becoming a goo drummer by three things: First When you send us Orders. ; Second More Orders. Third Big Orders. If you do this you won't have a great deal of time to write long letters, let-ters, and we won't have a great deal of time to read them, for we will bo very, very busy here making and shipping ship-ping the goods. We aren't specially interested in orders that the other fellow gets, or in knowing how it happened hap-pened after it has happened. If you like life on the road you simply won't let it happen. So just send us your address every day and your orders. They will tell us all that we want to know about "the situation." From "Letters from a Self-Made Merchant to His Son," by George Horace Lori-mer. Lori-mer. By permission of Small, May-nard May-nard & Co., Publishers, Boston, Mass. Dear Pierrepont: When I saw you start off yesterday I was just a little uneasy; for you looked so blamed important im-portant and chesty that I am inclined to think you will tell the first customer custom-er who says he doesn't like our sausage sau-sage that he knows what he can do about it. Repartee makes reading lively, but business dull. And what the house particularly needs is more orders. Sausage is the one subject of all others that a fellow in the packing business ought to treat solemnly. Half the people in the world take a joke seriously from the start, and the other half if you repeat it often enough. Only last week the head of our sausage department started to put out a tin-tag brand of frankfurts, but I made him take it off the market mar-ket quicker than lightning, because I knew that the first fool who saw the tin-tag would ask if that was the license. li-cense. And, though people ' would grin a little at first, they'd begin to look serious after a while; and whenever when-ever the butcher tried to sell them our brand they'd imagine they heard the bark, and ask for "that real country coun-try sausage" at twice as much a ! pound. j A real salesman is one-part talk 1 and nine-parts judgment; and he uses I the nine-parts of judgment to tell when to use the one-part of talk. Goods ain't sold under Marquess of Queensberry rules any more, and you'll find that knowing how many rounds the Old 'Un can last against ! the Boiler Maker won't really help you to load up the junior partner with our Corn-fed brand hams. A good many salesmen have an idea that buyers are only interested in baseball, funny stories, and Tom Lipton, and that business is a side line with them, but as a matter of fact mighty few men work up to the position posi-tion of buyer through giving up their oflice hours to listening to anecdotes. I never saw one that liked a drummer's |