Show HOME HAPPENINGS I f A ti Merry Christmas Christmas comes but once a year And Christmas now is almost here I wish wait another year For presents they presents they are fearfully dear Exams are quite frequent this week The class in French II is reading Mile Mlle de la It is very interesting t I Mr James Which way does this this valve open up Mr M. r. r M Morris orns Why Wh y up sir SIr f Prof in French What kind of a a reason is because Lady student A womans woman's reason 1 Lady member of the Geology Class 1 at the noon hour houi Goodness I am 1 hungry enough to eat some of that rockI rock- rock soup I J 1 University girl as Mr Siegel rushes by swinging his arms he T remind you of a sea gull the way he i flaps his wings One of the lady students of the Geometry Geometry Geometry Ge Ge- Class was heard to remark I think Mr Lyman is perfectly lovely when he smiles He has such pretty rosy I lips I Why oh why does go to sleep in Freshman Math The name should be an incentive to keep one awake at least leat we know of several who have lost sleep over that study Prof in Latin Miss Culmer what is the superlative form of the adjective n au d ax r Catherine Culmer I I 1 I believe it itis itis is pronounced kiss da ow kiss ow da kiss kiss kiss kissi i mus' mus mus' mus Professor Yes that is right Then as a stifled half-stifled laugh went round the room he added Why that ought not to awaken pleasant recollections recollections recollections u 1 jL nr J L Prof Wh Whiting ting in Physiology explain explain- explaining ing the the doctrine of certain Psycho- Psycho According to this theory Miss Roberts dO does s not exist I only think she does In short Miss Roberts is merely a creation of my own mind A faculty bulletin sets forth what terrible terrible terrible ter ter- tortures will the student be subjected subjected subjected sub sub- to who is found deficient in spelling spelling spelling spell spell- ing and on another bulletin near by a ace ce certain tain word is spelt Oh Consistency etc S-h S S-hc S Shy y y t S Y r at the telephone May I see Mr Brooks He isn't visible through the telephone telephone telephone tele tele- phone came the answer And our local reporter felt extremely soft Miss P P I always sit up in front in n alF my classes j Mr S S VV What hat for C Mr G G Why so she wont she wont have to gain her knowledge after it has passed through a dozen other heads of course Professor Allen to the Arithmetic Class I sold two cows for 15 cents each on one I lost 25 per cent and on the other I gained 25 per cent Did I gain or lose and how much Answers were handed in ranging from froma a loss of 02 cents to a gain of Foot-ball Foot prospects are not very bright for any more games this season The season is really past but it was hoped that two or three more games might be arranged It seems as though our eleven has practically disbanded so we suppose suppose suppose sup sup- pose we must lay layaway away our sweaters and suits until another year While our team has won only one game and lost two yet we consider they have done well well the the second game being practically ours by right and the third being won by such a close score that it was impossible impossible impossible im im- possible to discriminate between the contesting parties Vale team of 96 Miss Peirce What are you staring at me like that for Mr Romney I I am studying your eyes Miss Peirce would doubtless have been very much embarrassed had she not not- known that the yo young ng man was merely preparing his Physiology lesson The following was dropped into the j v CHRONICLE item box box I I dont don't want to be writ up Ill up-I'll Ill I'll b be b b be b-be be g g-g- g g goo- goo good But as no name was signed the local editors are in doubt as asto asto asto to whom they should thus favor Miss M. M C. C in Physical Geography Professor do glaciers only form where there is petrified snow Then she looked around in feigned surprise as all the the class began to laugh Some of the ancient superstitious Greeks believed that if they displeased the hi hills lis by an act a stream of hot m material material ma ma- would be poured out destroying the person with whom they were displeased dis dis- pleased This belief is of course ridiculed ridiculed ridiculed ridi ridi- in our day but a certain University girl still firmly declares that when the Hills is displeased there ther is certain to follow a stream of hot expressions and a threatened destruction of the object object object ob ob- of its anger The other day in Geology Dr Talmage Talmage Talmage Tal- Tal mage in order to illustrate a certain statement told the following There was once a man whose neighbor owned a donkey This donkey by its loud and untimely braying greatly disturbed him and caused him many a sleepless night Finally being able to stand it no longer he tried to devise some means of stopping stopping stopping stop stop- ping the beasts beast's noise The first idea which entered his mind was to put a muzzle over its nose but he found this to be impracticable While standing near the donkey trying to think of some plan he noticed that whenever it brayed it swung its tail vehemently the vehemently the wagging wagging wagging wag wag- ging seemed to be an absolutely indis- indis I r pen sible accompaniment of good bray bray- ing Then an idea struck the man man man-he he 5 procured a rope and tied ted the tail of the donkey firmly in place His ruse was r successful it successful it was quite impossible for forthe forthe the donkey to bray and the man went home and slept quietly and uninterruptedly uninterruptedly uninterruptedly all night School dismisses the coming Friday for the Christmas holidays studies willbe will willbe willbe be resumed January That is a nice nicer r long vacation and we trust the students r will lay aside their books during those few days and enjoy themselves To students students students stu stu- dents and faculty alike we say II A Amerry A I merr merry Christmas and a happy New Year The Athletic Association lost about fifty dollars on the excursion to Provo Prove x k It is a deplorable fact g The University lecture course has thus x far through a series of misunderstandings misunderstand misunderstand- received attention in inthis inthis ings scarcely any this department However we shall here hereafter fter make it a point to pay pay that it attention to the matter wh which which- ch it very justly deserves r- r v f L The first lecture of the series was by President Talmage given on Tuesday Iii evening December 1st The hall was J crowded to its utmost capacity by an intelligent intelligent intelligent in in- audience who ho heard the lecturer lecturer lecturer lec lec- treat of ice and snow as geological 4 agents Miss Lennie Savage Liet Jinks links x and Mr John Sharp will sing at the thet t Kirmess Thursday night r Artist John Hafen Miss Babcock and f Miss iss Cora Hooper have charge of Living Living Living Liv Liv- ing Pictures If you delight in the thera ra beautiful see them by all means Miss X X- X says that she will not accept any Christmas presents that have not been bought at the Kirmess We rather suspect that Miss X X- X is booming that praiseworthy affa affair r. r Aie Axe Are we we right rf OPT joung young lady I I Again was the hall filled last Tuesday 1 evening when when Prof Professor ss Marshall lectured lectured lectured lec lec- s his subject beings being Some Som Phases of the American Revolution treated 1 not from the conventional but from a apolitical a apolitical political standpoint The lecture was very logically planned and the audience listened attentively to the end a hearty round of ap applause lause attesting their ap ap- Professor Marshall continues this subject subject subject sub sub- on Tuesday December Decem er 15 dealing dealing dealing deal deal- ing with the critical period of American history those doubtful y years ars from 1783 to 1789 A young lady in one of the recitations recently wandered off into the fair fairmeadows fairmeadows fairmeadows meadows of dreamland A fellow student student student stu stu- dent sitting near by in a stage whisper said Oh Trilby Waking with a start she looked about wildly for a moment and seeing the teachers teacher's eyes upon her she inquired II What did you say Professor This same same occurrence inspired the following following following fol fol- lowing which me must say we cannot explain unless the the Muse be studying 1 language Una certain puella Cum ella in in classe fuit z zY Y zu her Lehrer rief nef o 0 rue it 5 At the Zeta Gamma last Thursday night the usual program was postponed and tl the e election of officers held During During During Dur Dur- ing the present term the officers have been President H. H R. R Driggs Vice President Thomas McKay Secretary and Treasurer Treasure Wilmar Evans and corresponding Secretary Burdett Smith with an energetic program committee The terms term's work has been most successful success ful and judging from the officers elected the work will be carried on with equal and we hope greater success The officers officers officers cers of the next society term are President President President dent D. D O. O McKay Vice President G. G Q Morris Secretary and Treasurer S. S y 1 L. L Richards Corresponding Secretary A. A F. F Elggren and a program committee committee committee com com- consisting of the Vice-President Vice t H. H R. R D Driggs riggs and D. D R. R Langlois Of course you are going to the Kir- Kir mess It wouldn't do to miss that There is going to be a Swedish booth and a Russian booth and a Turkish booth and My Country of Thee booth and others too numerous to men men- tion And there is to be a Temple of Isis with the chief priestess and a host of lovely vestal virgins in charge And just across the way the Temple of Osiris will exhibit its renowned oracle Thursday evening there with be a flood of music and living pictures Admission 25 cents Frida Friday night a grand ball with complete complete complete com com- orchestra will send you you and andr r the girl whom your bosom holds dear into a perfect delirium of delight Admission Admission Ad Admission Ad- Ad mission 50 cen cents ts Saturday will be childrens children's da day as well as grown peoples Bring your little brothers and sisters along It will be bethe bethe the biggest treat you can give them i Admission 25 cents And well worth it ii i |