Show A LETTER EXPRESSING A A. A GIRLS GIRL'S 73 TO A BOY The following letter has ha been found aut and handed to 10 THE TILE CHRONICLE Jr for The owner may have the sam sain by calling for lor it DEAR Your first term of the University Uni- Uni in the senior class is over and in answer answer answer an an- to my anxious question What do you desire to be you write I desire to be in intensely intensely intensely in- in tensely popular with the girls and J I I imagine I h hear ar the tremulous sigh with which you punctuate your hearts heart's desire Oh what is this pallid stain in the middle of your page Can it can it-can can it be a desiccated tear or is it only a drop of the essence boquet Dear you are at a most interesting age If I count the number of your summers correctly they are nineteen lovely nineteen nineteen- the age when Life goes l a Mai a-Mai a ing There should be no tears at nineteen my Iny dear boy In June you will be graduated Yes Yes I begin to understand more fully your your longing to be a beam and the pallid stain of the teardrop teardrop tear- tear drop or was it essence boquet in the center of your page J Ambition is a audible trait trai Shakespeare Shakespeare Shakespeare Shakes Shakes- peare to the contrary But its claim to praise depends largely upon the objects of its aim You desire to be intensely popular with the girls yet entertain tormenting doubts as to your personal charms you compare your appearance appearance ap ap- with that of your chum Joseph Joseph wears nines and you tens Joseph has a Grecian nose and yours evinces a fondness fondness fond fond- ness of the study of astronomy Such a nose adds piquancy to faces and doubtless does to yours Your self depreciation betokens a degree of modesty usually but not unpleasing in a young man But do not depreciate your attraction lie Ie is a poor soldier who proclaims the bluntness bluntness bluntness blunt- blunt ness of his spear or the dullness of his sword In the court of Cupid as on the field of Mars he fares best who makes the best use of the weapons that fate provided Lament not over the size si of your feet I once knew a bonnie blonde who had large feet You doubtless suppose that all blondes are bonnie and are wondering at my classification Bonnie is an anold anold anold old Scotch adjective of which I am particularly fond If you will refer reler to the glossary of words and phrases in th the back of Webster's Websters Websters Webster's Web Web- I ster's dictionary you will see that it means worth worthy as well as beautiful l. l A bonnie blonde is what I hope you will become I like to sit at eventide and picture you as you will vill appear on commencement eve I Ifancy Ifancy Ifancy fancy I see you jou rise and gracefully undulate to the lights foot-lights to read your Jour graduating essay It seems to me that I 1 can hear your silvery voice announce in inaudible tones Every Cloud Hath a Silvery Lining Night that Brings on the Dark or Beyond the Alps Lies Dies Italy Ah Ali am recalling the past you are dreaming of the future Would it be cruel to tell you that dreams and memory constitute constitute constitute con con- the chief joys of life No No I will not be so cruel keep cruel keep your beautiful dreams I would not rob you of them for a world Dreams dreams treasure them as long Jong as you can n You speak of love somewhere in your letter Where is it Let me see Oh yes here is the place and here are the very words not your words but those of Joseph You quote them to ask if Joseph is correct Love is the luscious fragrance that is wafted from the blossom of beauty to st steal al through the heart of man an firing it with the pulsing flame of passion pas las sion sian and charming it with the fetters of undy- undy ing sentiment binding two beings with the the girdle of rapture and attaining its climax in the stirring soul-stirring ecstacy of a kiss You ask me a delicate question so delicate indeed that I almost shrink from a response Oh why Why did you introduce the disconcerting disconcerting disconcerting dis dis- concerting subject of love into your charming letter I thought that love was vas an outlawed topic of Universities and that Cupid hardly dared to peep through a crack in the fence Am I not right Or has the immortal Steele condensed the tender passion into a course of fourteen weeks exclusively for use in finishing finishing finishing finish finish- ing schools for young men Josephs Joseph's dreamy and eloquent definition of love affects me strangely and I shall a avoid a direct reply I once ate bananas at midnight and I had queer dreams but my dreams were not of love There are many definitions of love but it itcan itcan itcan can never be defined for it is never the same in two cases Sometimes li like J. J e Praed I think that love is like Jike a play Where tears and smiles are blended Or like a faithless April da day by y Who Vho e shine with tears is ended Like Colnbrook pavement rather rough Like trade exposed to losses And like highland plaid all stuff And very full of crosses Dear there are as many kinds kinds of love as there ar are are brands of baking powder Yours desiring to please EDITH i |