OCR Text |
Show g Jests and Jingles. I xxxxxxxxxox I Scribbler I sign my name to every-thing every-thing I write now. What do you think i of the idea? Wabble That's all right. old man. as long as you don't give I your address. Town and Country- ' A Among the questions sent out by a f f school examiner was the following ex- ' ample in arithmetic: If one horse can ' run a mile in 1 minute 50 seconds, and I another a mile in 2 minutes, how far would the fjrst horse be ahead in a ! match race of two miles?" A scholar returned the question with this attached: at-tached: : "I will have nothing to do with horse-racing." Tit-Bits. "Johnny." said the teacher to a small Jk pupil, "what is a centurion?" "He's a feller what rides a hundrml ' miles on a bike," promptly answered Johnny. Teacher And why should we endeavor en-deavor to rise by our own efforts? Johnny Wise 'Cause there's no tell-in' tell-in' when the alarm clock will go I wronr- Man at Telephone (trying to find out v who has rung the call) Hallo, there! T) are you 37? Young lady at the other end (indignantly) (indig-nantly) No; you horrid thing. I . i am only 17. v j "V Caller Is Mrs. Kaffippi at home? I f Ellen (just from the country) No, mum. Caller Do you know where she has gone? Ellen Yes, mum. Upstairs by the back way. "We cannot consider your story seriously." se-riously." wrote an editor to an author. "You have killed your hero in the middle mid-dle of it." To which the author replied: re-plied: "I killed him because he made me tired." t. VINDICATED AT LAST. "My dear," he said, "I forgot to mail that letter this morning." "Oh, yon A dear!" she cvried. "That was Just what I wanted. Now I can blame you when ' that supercilious Sadie complains that ; I don't answer her notes." f A DRAWING CARD. New York World: Jinklns What' 4 all that rush and scramble about at the 1 ! bargain counter today? J J , Minkins Silk, Ribbon & Co. have a . I dentist there pulling teeth at half price. ' y TRUE MUSICAL INSTINCT Leslie's Weekly: Reilly Coupling! is a fireman with a true musical iu- i stinct. i McCarthy I didn't know he had any talent in that line. I Reilly Well, he has. When thf music store burned yesterdav Coupling played on six pianos all at once. AN EYE-OPENER. Ohio State Journal: "I want a position," posi-tion," curtly began the young man who imagined the world waited on a corner for him. "What can you do?" queried the cement-headed commercial bondholder Oh. everything," said the young man flinpantlv. j , "Indeed!" marveled the business man. ' To give you that job I should have to '1 discharge my 3,000 emplovees, and to ' I be frank I doubt the propriety of such I . a step. Good-day." I |