Show THE WISDOM OF FA FATHER THEN IER I I IGNORANCE IGl dORA OF MOTHER MOTHER I I other day I heard a chirpy THE racket that sounded like a Q cross rOSR between a n sowing Gowins- society and a stuttering stuttering- phonograph phonograph and aDd nd patho paus- paus ng to Inquire as as' to what used tho gabby abb commotion I learned from tho the wIld eyed neighbors that a 0 wise pent gent ent was trying to show hit his wife how to to clean clan her gloves with gasoline Jt Two mInutes ere was teas a l flash an and a yelp and then I 1 saw tho the wIse gent fent hiking for a barb barber or shop to havethe havethe have havo the east side of his trimmed to match tho the west side which had been en t scorched In n the tho explosion Whereat ono one of ot tho lady cheerfully smiled and stead Istead of ot showing symptoms toms tome of ot tender sympathy ehe gleefully gleefully glee glee- fully tully remarked that Smithy pot got just justh what h was coming cOIning to him for tor knowing it u And when you como to consider it Smithy as as all nIl tho the rest reet of or the tho king k kind kind nd does carry a 0 largo cargo of knowledge The knowledge of or father is proverbial proverbial provI I says John H. H in tho the Philadelphia Phil Phil- I adelphia adolphia Telegraph Ho lIo Is the tho ency ency- of ot the domestic camp and ever since tho the beginning be of ot things he has hns handed mother such abundant chunks of ot intellect that one might think that his education had cost him hint No matter what says or does docs he ho butts in with a better plan He rises B superior perlor to every situation He assumes the major generalship and puts ruts mother IDI i the ranks and should the little 1 11 lf lp t try to havo have a voice in tho the homo maneuvers sho Is promptly prompt ly Ii Urt for insubordination 1 While father can give Ivo mother pointers poin tore on everything e from washing tho the baby haby to running the kitchen range ran ho he frequently falls Calls down as good and hard as Smithy did In fact act hl his wisdom wisdom wis wis- dom door explodes In nine cases out of ot y ten ton but ho lie will flounder around the wilderness for tor ten generations before he will admit that ho is on the wrong trail Father rather Knew Some Somo time since a a. beloved belo citizen went home and found round his Vito monkey monkey- Ing Ing- with the sideboard drawer Mother said she sho couldn't get It open and re- re refusing re refusing fusing to listen to any further explanation explanation the old man pulled off ott his coat rolled up his sleeves and exclaimed that he would slow show hei her hep how t r tho the trick tricky was done Taking hold o of the drawer rawer ho he gave avo it t a 3 yank ank but it novel never budged 1 Mother said HaitI sho she knew It wouldn't I J and father hastily replied that she didn't know anything about It that she hadn't been educated in a n. furniture college collese I II I Ho moreover said ld that there was nothing tho time matter matteL with the tho drawer except that humidity had had swollen tho woodwork and all tho the science that was necessary was wis to tako take off oct the back of ot otI I ith the squirt a n. little oil into the sliding eliding apparatus and the tho drawer I would open like the tho side door of ot a SUnday Sunday Sunday Sun SUn- day sI speak easy 1 With this the tho wise man grabbed the tho hatchet and saw Ho lie also 1 seized tho the b screwdriver and wrench and notwithstanding the tho remOnstratIve of ot mother he began to dig hi hiway his wn way into tho the rear of the sideboard Tho The good lady declared that th the f f drawer wasn't stuck at all and antI Cathel r howled back In a ba bark Ik voice that tho t t It t I I was stuck or it would como come open o Ti 10 wanted to know what sho she knew out about humidity where sho got a n. license to tomake tomake to make a a. noise 1110 1 a to mechanic and said laid I that If It she sho would only sit Bit on the thC dm dl duan anand nn an and sigh he ho would give gl an Illustration of ot what a l real wonder i could doIn do In tho the meantime father hammered hammerel pried and ripped Incidentally lie he broke broko two painted hand-painted dishes and anti spoiled a cut glass pitcher but finally I tho the back of ot tho the sideboard came ramo off ort The Th rest was easy as father thought and after oiling tho slides ho once more II yanked at ut the tho drawer Nothing NoUn doing doln I It was still anchored For a n moment t father acted as if It ho he had conflicting I i emotions and then dropped to his knees I j jand and t began to make a closer examina I I I Why Mary Mars he exclaimed In an nn astonished tone Thoro There Isn't an anything thing j the matter with this drawer The confounded confounded con con- founded thing Is locked and le Ye hump Chump Of Ot course It Is Is you OU silly ch chump ump was tho the triumphant Interjection of mother I I broke broko off ort tho the key In it this morning I tried to tell you vou that It needed a locksmith Instead of ot a a. pile pUo driver er but you wouldn't listen to m me me As soon as father tather could catch his 1 breath he ho read the riot act to mother f for tor her carelessness in breaking the kc key and then than hustled out to seek solace sat s- s at the corner fountain The Tho next da day he gave a furniture man lar largo o green money to tu rOI repair the tho sideboard When father lather goes out with mother and the e kids kida I to aco eo the tho sights t and h scenery e he is high 1 chief of the whole holo caravan What he sa says s 's Is js right What hot mother nother says sas s Is all wrong There aro times lines times however when the old man J awakens to tho the fact tact that his travel travel- lag Ing- ng wisdom has hag got a twist In It ItA A few ew days ago father and mother mothr together with several sc coming presidents presidents dents and the tho usual packages boarded a train and antI found a n. cozy coz corner in the rear ear car en Tl Time Tho 01 train ra was a composed on of s. s set wen t en i cars ns ui 3 and while the Ul conductor was a very ery obliging person it was a I physical impossibility for ot him himo to o stop ever every one ono of those cars directly In n front of the station Reaching a town along the line lino the tho train rain stopped and when the tho old man mant mansaw saw t aw saw mother grabbing g tho baby and packages he- he asked her what In thun- thun was wag aching her Mother replied that hat the they had arrived at their destination destina- destina tion lon tion but hut father Cather with a a. largo larlo show of masculine knowledge said tho they weren't anywhere near the station yet et and antI that the time train would pull further up Taking fathers father's word word- t r it mother sat down again and listened to a a. chesty dissertation on how hO railroads were run Tho The train soon got ot In motion motion mo mo- tion Uon and contrary to fathers wisdom It didn't stop until It blow blew Into the next station four miles beyond What mother said was as good as a song and dance for tor tho the other passengers and m manlike father blamed it all on tho the railroad company compan And eo so It goes gocs Incidents of ot this kind happens every day Bo De the tho questIon question question ques ques- tion what It may the tho old man is al alwa's always always al- al ways was on the ground floor to show submissive submissive sub- sub missive mother how the tho trick should be turned bu but t every beloved brother who is honest In to his expression will admit that the wisdom of ot father is pretty much of a bluff blutt |