Show o i fl I I s Just as the cab started the Swede fired point a n. month of the four In office of oC a 0 President of or S the the cars years United States passes that at least one ono crank more or less less call at nt deran deranged ed does not mentally I I t tho tyro White House to toll him x ex exactly cUQ tl should affairs of ot government how tho the foolish foolish fool tool utterly ho managed or to beg an at his hands ish favor crank out Is IB scarcely one And thore there call within that al allotted allotted al- al of ot all that may the President President President who ever evor wets sees time and face tace Chief to face taco dent operatives and the secret his tho the White House are over evor at They for tor such Buch Individuals a the alert on minute me they the handle handlo recognized them promptly for tor what they are meOnce Once are generally years ears cars earsa carsin while while In a 0 very great de get by the G guards ua and anda a a crank personally may with tho the President speak is 03 as rare as But such an nn occurrence In Florida inThey In August n a snowstorm cranks with The They como como Importance Crom m the utmost stone Blone of or Ufo life and in all guises all walks In d and well wall educated duct arevell are Many of oC w thorn thom u 1 1 i- i men men- t walla a of of oC their men men- give DUt but jn majority major major- the Beme nt Thou Though h derangement tal percentage major major-I lar large e them aro ara men a 0 of ot ity born women are of or whom aro fore foreign found found n among them Infrequently not aro harm harmless them of oC most moat Fortunately rather than less and are aro to be pitied concepts of or censured for tor tho the queer ache guards minds But the SlL guards their unbalanced take chances hant ees with can enn not afford to either cajoled are aro e esome They any of oC thorn them thong Tho some attractive leaving uP upon Into decisively tnt firm firmly and ejected or serious a 0 tow few are aro many lany 1 ot of them are but the i y aro re tragic and violent and groI gro- gro merely merel pitiably humoroUs their na nature ore t ss they I tesque Whatever the pol policemen c oCr of oC must first convince and thu e t squad sec et r the Whito House HOUGe and service men of oC their can so 90 grounds much as ae ness before they grounds l House remain In tl the White v Roo Roosevelt's Duri During President cranks e many ninny of oC these the tho an and sent to e Govern across the hospital for tor f r the returned to their heir Potomac river or Whether tor Mr lr Tomes homes and friends honored rem aim Taft TaCt will bo be o to to be bo seen blotter in the thoi The lice department shows she's the nam names e Tt Columbia boa and District ri t of oC 1900 of oC mon men of oC 87 arrests ts ai since White House o tho she who visited the women to th the tho e mission on a 3 special but few w that thal dent dont fe j It mo may scorn seem strange the tho District from of oC these cranks are tho the case Most Columbia btu b but ut such Is York an and d 1 theana the of oC from New ana 1 of them em come states St. St L Louis England depended Now may be bo Chicago G however Comparatively IY i Cho quota ui J f for their heir tho the far b South w i upon t them rc como come from c cranks y or orthe few tew the theof of ot far tar ar West Weak l bettors almost from Crom b books booles booksIn nice nicer or of them many te y found In the r however howe It f frequently char- char length lengh aro are queer fir In The Tho i House n nd mall mail mla ratan queerer 1 White au and d 1 the tho atilt visitors wh who o of oC these es ese un unwelcome welcome Interesting alone tho are aro roll Gail on Ch the tho pre President crank craul to leut indeed most meet r up to P date to native o e of oC Tim Tho eTim Ito House wa waK as a earnest g Switzerland the tho e N No a o who sought most 4 ly tho the aid of oC tho the President In protectIng protect protect- I in Ing him a against his enemies There is nothing nothing unusual unusual about that request But this unwelcome visitor Insisted that his bloodthirsty enemies were pursuing pursuing pursuing pur pur- suing him In fn airships He lIe stated slated with an expression of ot tho utmost horror that they had bad planned to soar over him h m In I their airships and hurl down bom bombs s upon him In case that failed he be informed In Informed In- In formed the officer on guard at ot the White House these samo same merciless en enemies had contrived and antI fitted devices do- do vices at either olther end of oC their airships ps which held largo tanks of oC compressed air With this air turned upon him his death would be bo but a n question of time ho bo pleaded Then there thero is tho the crank who comes to warn the tho President of a a. plot against his life Ufe Not very long ago ogo an Irishman Irish Irish- Irishman man ronn with a lL surprising regard for the appropriate mystery my tery of ot his appearance called alle 1 and asked for tor the President He lIe had hall blackened his face Cace and hands and disguised himself In other ways to escape es escape es- es cape capo detection as ho supposed on tho the part Dart of at those whom he came came to warn a against Of or course ho he was stopped bya oy by oya a secret service man to whom he ho was finally Induced to unfold untold his tale of oC overhearing overbearing a a. band of oC bloodthirsty anarchists anarchists an an- plot to assassinate the President dent Ho lie begged to bo be allowed to guard the President personally and even en to sleep outside his door An embryonic muckraker onto called tho the President and Insisted that upon everyone In the United States should be renamed that the hymnal of ot the Episcopal church should be bo changed changed completely and that a a. new v r ritual ual should hould be made compulsory In fn tho Masonic Masonic Masonic Ma Ma- sonic order order- It Is la not always that these cranks harmless however In 1904 1304 a n are aro Swede wede from the Middle West Journeyed to Washington In a 0 freight car for tor tho the e 01 of oC obtaining aid 01 from t the tho purpose President against people who he said were trying to steal his patents guaranteed guaranteed guar guar- to revolutionize several prominent prominent Industries Ills lIls dross dress ross nent American o ano tits uia L c io s peculiar was vas no atho and his do demands an to tn see sec the President somewhat alarming Policeman Policeman Policeman Police Police- CI Circle cle of the White While House squad quad man in Into the him ho no would usher him told Presidents President's private office Immediately Immediate i this pretense ho he was vas led the Into the tho Dy By In the tho basement of the e cast guardroom of ot tho the White House HOWIe and av a cab ode b front summoned Just as tho tiro big lg lo Swede ed was shoved Into the cab ho he being boing toe lab was smelled a n rat 1 for Cor he e drew draw e a 0 dently tha farge revolver revolver and opened tiro firo o on the large Ills 1 alm aim was wild wila and the tho officer Inflicted but a n. slight flesh bullet The poll comans coman's s recovery was wound as the tho crank had a evidently evl- evl however pie sloW show the tho bullet w with so some me prepared dently After firing the tho shot sort of oC was overpowered filing an and nd 1 placed laced ed the tho i lunatic due limo he station house In due In the hospital Sent government to t the hospital was nn sent Hent but hut later taken laken cha charge charjie ge of oC for Cor b by the tho some somo Insane ot of his friends In tho the Middle V W r cs guards wore President r pre r by two women auf auf- onto c confronted They The made mado the tho modest doh do- do h mand wand that tho the President retire from Crom of- of Oco fico Immediately In their favor Ono of ot the tho women ha hind had even gone sone so far tar asto as asto asto to choose her hor own cabinet to assist in inthe inthe n the discharge of or the duties of ot the nations nation's nations nation's nations nation's na na- tion's chief chlof executive Nor would she sha stop there The admiral of oC the tho navy should no longer be bo a man but a woman The other woman claimed that President Roosevelt had hind boldly usurped After ed hor her place lace as fiS the peoples people's eo les le's choice After Atter a 0 short short incarceration Incarceration In the government government government govern govern- ment hospital for the insane both worn women on were sent back bacle to their friends i Another typo of unwelcome visitor I Is la tho the man or woman of the tho inventive mind All AU of ot them have bave Inventions I. I that will literally reverse the tho forces of nature and even change the tho positions of ot tho the sun Bun the tho moon und and the stars All of oC them thorn are aro morn mora than willing to lot the President In on the tho ground floor Hoor and miraculously miraculously miraculously mira mira- of the tho fabulously capitalized successful stock companies they havo organized 1 in their own own minds One inventor from Colorado declared ho he had bad an invention that utilize the forces of oC gravity for fur would u lint I iron d 1 lD m I 11 furt 1 i t almost any auy purpose PUI s mio g be run by it automobiles driven airships air air- airships ships kept hept aloft millwheels turned and manufacturing plants operated Outside of at the largo block of ot stock ho wanted the tho President to take ho begged the chief executive to compel compol the oho commissioner of oC patents to grant him hire a patent on en his invention Another Inventor who did not believe bellevo in trust had a a. marvelous scheme to transport IC Ice from fro the North orth Pole Iole In n norder order to force torce the Ice Ico kings s Into poverty an and starvation All that need be dono done ho ha argued was to obtain a congressional congressional congressional appropriation for tor the tho cutting of ot the tho Ico ice up In the Artie regions an anthen and then have the tho United Slat States war vessels carry curry tho the Ice to the d different t e nt cl cities Cos of the tho country and distribute It In this manner mannel the tho Ico Ice Trust would melt away as rapidly as ns It does Its own product on a n sweltering August day The police pollee needless to say manifested a most abnormal abnormal ab ab- normal and enthusiastic interest In his hla plan piau and conducted him Im to io of ot the conducted 1 toot station station statton houses t to to talk k it over r at nt fur fur- ther length Thero There was not nothing ing small In concep concep- conception conception tion at al least of the tho plan of ot a woman crank to drain the tho ocean off oft Old Oid Point Comfort a seaside resort on the VIrginia Virginia Vir VIr- I ginia coast By Dy doing so she sho was peal peal- positive positive tive tivo that she Kho ho could find a a. largo lara amount of ot money hidden there thero by conspirators who were seeking to deprive her of her liar rightful share of or an nn estate of oC over half halt halfa a 0 million dollars She Sho did dill not feel Ceel at I liberty sho she stated to drain tho the sea off oft Old Point Comfort until sho she had obtained obtained obtain obtain- ed the tho Presidents President's permission as tho the ocean belonged to the Ule United States and hence to the tho President A certain lunatic a I. I few tew years ago aJo had hind appeared s several veral times on the tho White House grounds rounds an and con conducted himself l so strangely that the tho decided to tor look Into his case His Ilia answers an- an to their questions were so 80 incoherent In Incoherent In- In coherent and meaningless that he W was S seized 1 and searched A loaded revolver ver vel and a Q box of at cartridges cartridge gell were found In his pockets pocket Along with those was discovered an envelope marked News l VI I VI of oC General Thoughts When this envelope envelope en en- en was wan removed from his pocket lie he manifested tho utmost concern and was restrained with difficulty ing that the information therein contained con con- was exclusively ely his hla own and that he would guard l precious thoughts with wit his life lite When Alice Roosevelt's Roose enKa engagement to Representative n Nicholas Longworth was wan announced a A. number of oC these unfortunates un un- un- un called at the tho White House to present the Pr President various reasons rea rea- sons son why wiry ho he should not allow the marriage mar nar to be consummated Over a dozen I of or these cranks called to see ace the Pre sl dent for tor that reason alono alone during tho the marriage of oC Miss Alice Alico and tho the Ohio representative Mr Ir Roosevelt's guards were once confronted by an nn old negro who claimed that ho President had promised him a place In the United States Diplomatic Dip Dip- Corps on April the rat 1906 The Th old fellows fellow's choice of April elate date April Fools Fool's Day was Day was of ot no Importance at ut atall atall all and of or no significance in hl his hla own eyes lIe He was dressed like a n minister He showed showe Secretary Loeb Loob a n paper which he said was his hl ordination to the tho ministry and pointed with pride to what he declared to the signature of ot a n justice Jus jus- tice of ot the Supreme court This document document docu doeu- ment ho he claimed 1 granted him tho the right to preach the gospel ospel In any part of ot the world He lie wanted the President to nt- nt af fix his hits signature also Tho The old fellow tellow was received with tho the utmost dignity by tho the Secret Service men and his story was listened to with apparently absolute absolute lute respect They Informed him that he should bo be tal ta en immediately to the President and apologized for tor the fact that hat Mr Roosevelt was then bUS busy at tho the Capitol with national affairs They would be bo pleased to take him right over In a 0 carriage In fact tact they thoy prom prom- sed to use uso tho the Presidents President's own livery Moro More than that the great seal of or the United States of or America should be affixed to his ordination papers so that none one might doubt his hla authority Th Tho would bo diplomat was simp simply simply over over- overcome over aver come oine with delight and his grin was wasa p. p sight to behold With alacrity he ho stepped Into the carriage for his Ills triumphal triumphal tri tri- Journey journe But nut alas tho the carriage never reached the tho capitol Instead It drew up in front of ot t the nearest station It was not tot until the poor negro was standing In n front of ot the tho sergeants sergeant's desk that HO Ito I understood the hoax that had been worked forked upon him But his hie rebellion was vas feeble and pitiable In tho the extreme extremo An Ln examination showed that he had been een an on Inmate of the Government Hospital for tor tho the Insane for some while and nd at that time was out on parole Another crank visited the the the- White House to press a claim more mOro practical and lucrative than the tho old negro negro's negros s though though less modest Ho lie said sold that he hailed n led from Ohio and that he ho had been elected b by the state legislature to take the thc place of ot the lato late Senator Hanna lianna In some unaccountable manner he ho in insisted In- In his namo name had been changed to Lo that that of ot Charles Dick but ho he was untie una ble e to present his credentials as United States senator to the legislature If It a n. certain official he pleaded had I been true to his oath of or ho he would woul never have been placed in such an em em- embarrassing predicament Of or course the President had bad received his credentials for tor for the tbs state official had told him m to hurry on to Washington and receive them from no less leas a person than thin the President himself While conducting con con- ducting him |