Show LIARS IAns Portland Oregonian The fame Came of ur Ananias was never Bevel calne earned That lie of oC his which has hns made such sucha a u stir sUr a own the tho Christian ages was hut but a puny pun effort In fact he never told toM a a. a lie He at all lie He simply sim sim- I I ply 11 l kept Jept back part of or the money which Peter Petel i wished him to deposit in the new socialistic bankhe bank bankhe he was foun founding In the tho true spirit of or high finance Peter Peler wanted wante all that Ananias had and und not nol being able ablo to get it he use used language of oC such vigor that poor POOl Ananias fell Cell down n own nn and gave avo up the ghost How low 21 Mr n Ryan nan an Mr MV Harriman and antI our om other financial financial finan finan- cial cia lun luminaries must T envy Peter Petel this power power of language Think of the he lawyer Jawers foes fees it ft would woul save them not to mention bribes cs to legislatures an and city councils If the they could make malco recalcitrant contri contributors contributors u- u tors tOl'S fall Call down and give o up the thc ghost as Ananias did l b by a simple such as ns Peter u used ed But Dut what is there thero in to entitle Ananias to the fame ho he enjoys s 's of being the greatest liar Hal of or all time Nothing absolutely nothing Justice de demands de- de eman e- e man mands s that he ho be dragged drags down own from the tho pinnacle of or glory glor where he hc has so fO long stood an and some more worth worthy man exalted In his stead Where here shall shan a worthier be found Look around you a little There are dozens of living livIn liv liv- In inS ing American citizens who arc are YasO vastly better entitled entitle to the glory glor of giving their names to this organization tion Uon than the ancient J Jewish humbug who has im impudently usurped the privilege The Stan Standard ard Oil company compan employs a n. corps of or able attorneys g any n of whom can at nt a moments moment's notice reel off orr a tiring string of whoppers that would make Ananias swoon with helpless em envy The They not only can do this this' but the they have r repeatedly l demonstrated their power b by actual performance The Tho habit which prevails among historians of ofIn giving In all the glory to ancient Jews Jows an and Greeks and all the hard work to mo moderns erns is entirely unjustifiable In our opinion when a mand man d displays brilliant ability as a liar he ought to lo havethe havethe have havethe the cre credit lt of or it even It if he is still living Of or COUl course o the biblical liars as a class s are entitled to our reverence because the they arc are In tho Bible but their professional merit was slight Jacobs Jacob's trick tricky by y which la her he euchere Esau out of oC his inheritance may pass It was well enough for the primitive day a when It It was worked e but it would woul be entertaining to see see how much more deftly an and rapidly Mr lr Rockefeller or oi Mr 11 n Ryan would woul reach tho the same result Truly the tho world advances The art of or stealIng steal- steal Ing Ingas as well as tha or lying has progressed e enormously enormously since Jacob swin swindled led his brother out of hi his property and Laban cheated Jacob out of or his l promised bride In those times they used to keep 4 t u counts accounts l b by making little heaps heals of or pebbles Suppose Suppose Sup Sup- Suppose pose pose the accounts account of ot tho the New York street railway trust had bad been l kept ept thus how ho embarrassing 11 it would have ha been when the tho necessity arose to burn burr them Suppose th the books o of the government go lan land department ha had been l kept ept on ou brass blas or mar marble le slabs us the ancient custom was how would woul a departing have obliterated hl his tracks trucks I It will wUL be rea readily ll seen from these thee suggestions suggestion that the art of or keeping accounts and records has ha won wonderfully improved ed In modern times limes Not ot less has the tho art arl of oC lying an and its kindred art of or theft progressed Some problems connected with the practice of or men mendacity which greatly harassed th the tho early carh Christians have been brilliantly solved b by ou our devout out financiers of today Thus we now know exactly how a man mutt must go so to lo work to be at th the same tine tru a dauntless liar an and an nn exemplary church member We c also un understand how he lie can practice theft then an and piety simultaneously without either inter inter- bring In tho thio least with the other Our mo modern ern liars surpass the ho ancient ones In sl skill and courage fully tully as much as electric communication excels couriers rs on oil tool foot Tho art arl ha has j been benefited lJ by tho Iho thoa a application of or tho the great principle of ot the division J of or labor or specialization to use uso a more learned term In tho pagan an world worl It 11 was usual for or the same man maii to practice all tho the various branches of or mendacity men but un under er the beneficent Influence of or Christianity Christi Christ anity the miscellaneous liar has fall fallen n Into flute To be bo respectable in the tho practice of or mendacity mendacity men men- cit one must specialize as he must in fn law haw or medicine Thus the financial liar not nol on only I enjoys s 's shigh high worldly l repute but ho amasses great reat wealth as a rule lule The Tho same samo Is Js true though In a n le lesser er degree esree of or the legal II liar a 1 Hut But who has lies an any respect for tor the miscellaneous inventor of or purposeless s falsehoods falsehoods false false- hoo hoods s LUto Lilo tit the tho germ gel of l typhoid fever te ho lie flourishes In InI I filth Trouble is the breath of or his nostrils an and nd public distress rejoices his heart It If he sees a man cashing cashing- a check at al the tellers teller's window the liar Mar forthwith forthwith forth orth- with shouts that thal there Is a run on tho the bank HeIs He Ito Is fertile In tales of Imaginary evil but b by no chance chanco does he lie ever e Invent a II soo good report about aboul cul anything or 01 an any man Ho flout flourishes both in the thc city an and the tho country He lIe wrecks the cre credit lt of ur a merchant an and the lie honor of a woman with equal zest He lie knows the tho motive of eVer every action 1 both oth public and private and it Is always nl vile lIe Accor According to the tho miscellaneous ous ens liar lIal nobody y e ever does oes a good deed or 01 thinks a a. good thought I is Js corrupt EYer Every cry man manIs manis is false and venal E cr ery E mind I la Is occupied In planning evil e He Ito sees thi tho world awry because e his hison own o soul is poisoned The dark daik picture which he lie mistakes for Cor the dee deeds s and motives of his fellowmen fellowmen fellowmen fellow- fellow men is nothing more than the tho outer projection of his own despicable heart Da Dad Bad as ho sees the world worl he Is always tr trying to make malte It worse The noxious I pro product of his energy Is poured out in a stream which never falls fails Legal and financial liars practice the art for fOl the lie sake of ot what it it brings them in monc money and power The Thc miscellaneous liar practices it because he loves It IL Ho lIe lies for Cor the sake of 1 lying hying inS Mankind has ah a always s 's been cen charitable to those who sin greatly for Cor ambitious ends The petty pelly rogue who sins because e he lie hates virtue It has always detested |