OCR Text |
Show THE UNIONIZED MILK INDUSTRY John L. Lewis is now trying to unionize the milk industry throughout through-out the country. If he succeeds every bottle of milk delivered will have a union label certifying that there has been no non-union contact from the cow pasture to the doorstep. door-step. The idea is to have milk from hands and delivered by union milk-hands milk-hands and delivered by union mil-men. mil-men. The new slogan may be "Milk From Union Cows, Contented or Not!" We can imasine a union cow, chatting chatt-ing its union cud in a union meadow, swishing a unionized tail and lowing in tones approved by the Musicians Union. 9 We can picture union clover, union brooks, union hillsides and union hay. The curfew tolls the knell of parting day. The lowing herd winds slowly o'er the lea, The plowman homeward plods his weary way All unionized and happy as can be. Whoever thought the cowbarn would some day become a closed shop. What would grandpa have thought if somebody had predicted that the walking delegate would wind slowly o'er the lea, that the cow would jump over the moon only if it had a union permit and that the milkmaid's milk-maid's answer to "May I go with you" would have been "Not unless you are a member of the union in good standing, mister." Somehow we find it hard to gaze over the rolling country these spring days and take in the bucolic scene without feeling that, although he is not there in person, the spirit-form of John L. Lewis flits through the meadows, looks disapprovingly on the gusto of the rushing brook and, wielding an invisible rubber stamp, puts an "Okay J. L. L." on the flank of every mooly. Whispering into the ear of every cow the wonders of the five-day week and warning the bull to take orders only from its local board. To revise Anne Emilie Poulsson's old verse: At five o'clock he milks the cow, The busy farmer's man. . At six o'clock he strains the milk And pours it in the can. At seven there's a clamor and A merry little row, It's found the cow that gave the milk Was not a union cow. The busy farmer's man is called , With him it goes quite hard; It's charged that when he strained the milk He lacked a union card. At eight o'clock John L. appears, A frown upon his pan And there will be no milk today 'TWAS NOT A UNION CAN! "I'm short of food but long on stair carpet and paper treads, wheelbarrow, snath, flag 46 by 56, 12-foot 12-foot staff, hose, iron washtub, van-ner, van-ner, crowbar, jigsaw puzzles, dust mop and kitchen utensils. A609." Yankee Magazine. And a man must live. YOU'LL FIND OUT Little grains of sugar, Little ration books Tend to cramp the style of Many pastry cooks. One-half pound of sugar per person per-son per week will be the new federal fed-eral sugar ration. "But I can't wait a week! I use it every day," complains Ima Dodo. The race tracks of America will donate do-nate two million dollars to army and navy relief funds this year. The chart writer would perhaps describe the belated be-lated decision thitsly: "Slow to get off, appeared out of it at first turn, responded re-sponded to urging in stretch and came through under a hard drive." Mahatma Gandhi must be one man who is moved somewhat unusually un-usually by the prospect of losing his shirt. Elmer Twitchell, the old horseshoe Ditcher and chess champion, is juite sore. He says Mr. McNutt abolished those bureaus before he got his games co-ordinated. Buy Defense Bonds Secretary Morgenthau says every doorbell in the country will be rung at least once in the drive to sell war bonds. The trouble is that they have been rung so often for various purposes that most of 'em are out of order. "Bombers Set Backet Stadium 5 to 2." Headline. We always said those baseball fans wouldn't stand for any non-mse non-mse from Tokyo or Berlin. |