OCR Text |
Show , King Tommy j By GEORGE A. BIRMINGHAM Oopyrlght by Bobtw-Menill Co. W. N. U. Service I "As well as I can make out," she said, "they're saying that the photographs on the passports are not in the least like us." "Tell them," Bald Tommy, "that that's a matter of opinion, and that If they know anything about the recent Cubist and Vortlclst developments they'll see at once that these photographs photo-graphs represent our subconscious selves and are exactly like them." "I don't believe I could say all that even In German," said Calypso, "and I don't, know two hundred words of Megalian, which is what they're talking." talk-ing." The chauffeur, seeing that something some-thing had gone wrong, left his car and approached the Megalians with his overcoat' flying wide open. They were less impressed than the Germans by his display of weapons. In fact they were not Impressed at all. All they did was unbutton their own coats and show that they possessed weapons of similar kinds. "This." said Tommy, "is getting quite like Ireland." The chauffeur quacked at the Megalians Me-galians in Lystrlan. They replied in Megalian, a language which consists principally of sounds like hisses. He quacked again, but mingled a few hisses with his quacks. They hissed in reply, but uttered a few quacks too. Gradually the speakers drew together until the Megalians were quacking which they continually perform, keep rows of spittoons In their churches (a sign of real reverence) and have several sev-eral well authenticated miracles every year. As soon as they realized that Janet was a priestess, deaconess or abbess, they made no difficulties about allowing allow-ing the party to go on. Calypso's spirits rose after passing the frontier posts. That corner of the Megalian territory consisted of the old kingdom of Lystria, so that the princess prin-cess was at last back In her own land. The few peasants who were herding cattle on the hillsides were Lystrians and no doubt talked to one another in the quacking language which the chauffeur used. The cattle were Lys-trian Lys-trian cattle, long-horned, active little beasts, which looked as if they afford-ded afford-ded little milk when alive and not much meat when dead. The cottages were Lystrian, the roads, the heather, the mountains themselves, all were Lystrian. Calypso drew deep breaths of Lystrian air with keen delight, pointed out one thing after another to Janet, who was not deeply interested. inter-ested. Now and then she clapped her hands with joy. The spirits of the brigand chauffeur rose too. He still drove carefully. Any other kind of driving would have brought swift disaster on the Lystrian roads. But he blew his horn whenever when-ever he saw a man, woman or child, however distant. He threw off his cap and let the mountain air blow freely through his thick curly hair. Once, for a short while, he quickened the car's pace and pursued a hare which was foolish enough to run straight along the road. After a while he began be-gan to sing, mere snatches of song at first, in the end whole verses. This was highly unconventional behavior in a chauffeur driving a royal car. But Calypso did not resent it. She seemed actually pleased. Soon she joined him in singing. When the man heard her high treble ring out he dropped naturally natur-ally into a bass part. The Lystrians, like most half-civilized people, are very musical, and every kind of singing is a delight to them. Calypso started the Lystrian national anthem, a wild tune, as exciting as the Marseillaise, with something in It of the grandeur of the old Russian czarist national air. The chauffeur joined in with a kind of fierce enthusiasm. enthu-siasm. They sang the tune through to gether three or four times. Then Calypso Ca-lypso leaned forward and laid her hand on Tommy's shoulder. "Join in," she said. "You sing, too. Let's all sing." She shook up Janet, who was dozing, doz-ing, and told her to sing. Janet has no more ear for music than a crow has. Hymns are the only things she ever attempts to sing, and I am told that when she does the rest of the congregation suffers acutely. It was her attempt at the Lystrian national anthem which put a stop to the singing in the end. Janet, who is quite unconscious of her infirmity, sang loud when she began to enjoy herself. She has a very powerful voice. The chauffeur must have been actually musical, more musical than either Tommy or the princess. His face twitched when Janet's high notes reached him. His steering became very erratic and once or twice he ran the car dangerously near the edge of the road. He tried to assuage his misery mis-ery by sounding bis horn fiercely when he knew a high note was coming In the song. I suppose this only made the discord more Intolerable. At last he stopped the car, turned round, and quacked out an angry speech to the princess. Calypso understood what he said well enough. She would probably have understood his feelings even if he had not spoken, for she was sitting beside Janet. But she was very tactful. "Sandor says that we had better I stop singing. The mountain air Is bad for the voice and we shall have sore throats tomorrow If we go on." What Sandor really said was that unless the Fnglish housemaid stopped squalling he would be forced by uncontrollable un-controllable emotion to stab her and throw her out of the car. They drove on without singing for the rest of the afternoon, steadily climbing into the mountains by twisting twist-ing and sometimes perilous roads. At about six o'clock they reached the highest point of a lefty pass. On each side the mountains rose to snow-clad peaks. In front the road dipped steeply steep-ly into a narrow valley. Beyond the valley stood, steep anil frowning, another an-other mountain. On its side, perched on a plateau Sandor gripped Tommy's arm and pointed forward there, a gray pile of masonry, stood the schloss, oblest. most Impressive and least comfortable com-fortable of the palaces of the Lystrian kings. Tne enr plunged Into the valley, mit of the sunshine into deep shadow. Above them the schloss. with the light still hright on It, looked like a fairy palace. They crawled over a narrow bridge which crossed a foaming torrent. tor-rent. They began a winding ascent along a singularly s-ony road. (TO BE COVTIN1-ED CHAPTER XVI Continued 21 "Wherever a Scot happens to be," said Janet, "is Scotland." "The law can't really be exactly like that," said the princess. "It would be too inconvenient." "That Is the law," said Janet. "If I say that I'm married to him, I shall be, and there'll be no getting out of It. That would be intolerable." "It wouldn't be particularly pleasant pleas-ant for me, either," said Tommy. He ought not to have said that ; but he was getting angry with Janet. A woman has a perfect right to refuse to marry any man who asks her; but she ought not to tell him to his face that he is intolerable. No man can be expected to submit tamely to that, particularly when he has not really offered himself as a husband. "Besides," said Calypso, "if he married mar-ried you, what would happen to poor Miss Temple?" "I wish to goodness Miss Temple was here," said Tommy ; "you won't listen to me. But if she were here she wouldn't want to marry me any more 1' than either of you does. But anyhow, If we're to go on at all. one of you must own up to being my wife. "I'll leave you settle it between yourselves." your-selves." He walked off, walked to the car and looked at It, walked a little way along the road and back again, finally sat down on a stone and looked at the river, which ran, turbid and yellow, under a little bridge. But Tommy's ill temper never lasts long, and he is a man of active and resourceful mind. In a quarter of an hour he was back with a proposal to meet the difficulty. "According to that Scotch law of yours," he said to Janet, "would you be married to a man if you said you were his wife, but he didn't say he was your husband?" "Of course not," said Janet. "Even if there were witnesses present?" pres-ent?" "That wouldn't matter," said Janet. "Unless we both said we were married we wouldn't he married." "And supposing while you were saying say-ing you were his wife another man said he was your husband quite a different man whom you didn't claim at all which of them would you be married to?" "I shouldn't be married to either," said Janet. "Even according to the Scotch law?" "Of course I shouldn't." "Very well." said Tommy, "when we get to that frontier post you say that Colonel Heard is your husband. He can't say that you're his wife because he won't be there. Therefore you won't be married to him. I shall say that you're my wife, hut if you don't claim me as a husband, which you won't, having already claimed Colonel Heard, then you won't be married to me and I shan't be married to you. In fact, we shan't either of us be married to any one, even by Scotch law. That ( will be all right, won't It?" "Besides," said Calypso, "Colonel Heard seems to be married already, and nothing you could say would make liny difference to that, would it?' "Exactly," said Tommy. "That's another an-other point. Even Scotch law can't let a man In for bigamy, in that casual cas-ual way, especially against his will, and I don't suppose Heard particularly particular-ly wants to marry you." "So that's settled," said Calypso. Janet did not seem satisfied, and I can scarcely wonder. A woman as intimately in-timately connected as she Is with the movement for reuniting the Christian churches of the world has to be very careful of her reputation. It would be a terrible thing for her If It were to become generally known that she claimed a married man as her husband. That Is the sort of thing a woman never nev-er quite succeeds In living down, and the world Is censorious. The men at the German frontier post turned out to be peaceful and quiet. They looked at the passports but made no comment on them. They Inquired whether the travelers were taking any new clothes, gramophones, photographic apparatus, surgical instruments, in-struments, telescopes or dyes out of Germany. The princess said that their dresses were years old, that they all hated gramophones and never took photographs. Janet added solemnly that the party did not possess a single lancet or a telescope. Tommy, when be understood what was happening, said "Nein" four or five times emphatically. emphat-ically. Then there were some inquiries inquir-ies about the car. The princess asked the bearded chauffeur to produce his papers. In getting at an Inside pocket be displayed his pistols and knives to great advantage. The Germans asked no more questions about the car. did not Iook at the papers and permitted the travelers to go op. Very likely, like Dogberrys' watch, they thanked God they were well rid of a knave. The Megalians. when the car reached their post, turned out to be men of quite different kind. They looked as savage and were quite as well armed as the chauffeur. They spoke a tongue which was neither German nor the quacking language of the Lystrians. Tommy and Janet, did not understand a worn of it. Even the princess seemed pU7-ZleJ. Above Them the Schloss, With the Light Still Bright on It, Looked Like a Fairy Palace. nearly as much as they hissed and the chauffeur was hissing frequently. The princess understood about half of what each party said. "They've just asked him," she said, "which of us io your wife." "Tell him," said Janet, "to say I'm not." But it was too late to tell him anything. any-thing. He was making a long speech in mingled hisses and quacks. The princess giggled again. "He's just told them," she said, "that I'm Mrs. Heard, aud that we're all French subjects." "I won't be called French," said Janet. "I hope he'll be careful," said Tommy. Tom-my. "I can't talk French any more than I can German. Why didn't he say we were English?" "It's no use saying that to the Megalians," Me-galians," said the princess. "They think the English never send armies anywhere or do anything except pay oilier people's debts for them. But they're desperately frightened of the French." The chauffeur quacked and hissed a little more. "I'm awfully sorry," said Calypso to Janet, "but he's Just told them that you're my maid." The man had been treating Janet as If she were a servant ever since the party left Breslau. She was determined deter-mined to assert herself and not to leave the Megalians under a false Impression. Im-pression. "I'lease tell him at once." she said, "to say that I'm the European representative repre-sentative of the League for Establishing Establish-ing World Peace Through the Uniou of Christian Churches." She spoke so fiercely that Calypso dared do nothing but obey her. She did her best to explain to the chauffeur Janet Church's position In the religious world. I do not know what the chauffeur chauf-feur thought or how much he understood under-stood of what was said to him. Nor is there any way of finding out wbnt he told the Megalian soldiers, or bow much they understood. But the effect on them was excellent. They all took off their hats, knelt down and crossed themselves piously. They must somehow have gathered that Janet was an ecclesiastic of an unusual kind. They continued to kneel for several minutes In hop-? of a benediction ben-ediction which Janet did not give them. Troyte tells me that Megalians hae the reputation of being the must religious re-ligious people in Europe. They take the greatest delight in I'assion I'lays. |