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Show Uncle lyfe HUMOR OF BOYS TVfY next door neighbor has a !VA boy who is going to get into trouble if he doesn't reform," said the retired merchant. "He's always playing idiotic tricks on me, and I'm getting tired of it. This morning, as away with it. She worked and worttea, and the sweat began rolling down her face, and every once in a while she'l lift the lid of the churn to see what ailed the doggone cream, and then she'd pour in some cold water, and then some hot water,' and the more she wrestled away, the less sign of butter wns there. "She whanged away at that ding-busted ding-busted churn for two hours and couldn't get results, and she was so mad and disgusted over it she wanted want-ed to pack her trunk arid go bac't home. Mother saw me rolling aroiitvl in the yard all doubled up with un- . holy mirth, and she realized at once, by deductive reasoning, that I was responsible, and the licking I got (lift evening took the edge off my sense of humor for three weeks. "Another time. Uncle James was visiting vis-iting us. He used to sit in' a rustic chair under an ajjrile tree and do7.e, : after dinner. He had a bald head, ! and his hat always slid off after he. i had snored a few times. One day I ! sneaked up behind him with a feather and began tickling his head. He'd slap his dome of thought and cuss a little, and then doze again, whet; I would get busy with the feather. That went on for quite a while, and I was having the time of my life. I never heard any language more highly colored col-ored than Uncle James put up. "My mother heard him saying things, and came to the door and ask"d him what was the matter, and ha ; said a ding-donged lopsided fly was chewing his scalp off. He had chased it away three million times, but It always al-ways came back. I got another licking lick-ing that night, and my mind was occupied oc-cupied with serious things for a month." fell I was leaving home, I found my front gate nailed shut, and I had to climb over it, and nearly broke my back doing it." "I wouldn't give three cents for a boy who didn't play tricks," replied re-plied the hotel-keeper. hotel-keeper. "I expect ex-pect you were as giddy as the rest of them when you were young. Whenever a boy puts up a job on me, and I feel myself my-self getting mad, I recall some of my own exploits when I was a lad, and ' that enables me to forget my troubles. "I was looking through an ancient album last evening, and saw the pictures pic-tures of a lot, of people who fell off the earth many years ago. They were venerable men and women in my schooldays, and I had played tricks on every one of them ; not with malice mal-ice aforethought, but just because a kid must have his fun. "There was a picture of old Aunt Betsy, who used to come to our house once in a while, on a visit, and as soon as she came she took charge of everything. every-thing. She knew how to do things better than anybody else, and she was always criticising nfy mother's methods. meth-ods. Whenever mother started to do anything, Aunt Betsy would take the job out of her hands, saying she woulrt show the right way to do it. "I had heard somewhere that If you put a drop or two of acetic acid in a gallon of cream, that, cream will never make butter. I had a great memory for such facts, and kept them on file, where they would be useful. One morning mother snid she. would have to churn, and she got. things ready. I knew that as soon as she started Aunt Betsy would want to show her how it should he done, so when I had if' chance, I dropped some of the acid inlo the churn, which was one of (hose old upright affairs, with a dasher tbaV you worked up and down until the butter came. "Mother seated herself on a stool and began chumiing. and then Aunt Betsy came along, anil said that while she wns a modest and unassuming woman, she did claim to know a little lit-tle more about churning than anybody of her weight in that part of (he country. 'Eel me do it, my dear,' said she. 'and I'll have butter in seven minutes by the clocli.' So she took hold of the dasher ami began shipning |