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Show Ten Commandments For Married People Mrs. Irene. Sheffield, nil authoress of New York, and n woman of experience ex-perience and who filed suit for divorce, di-vorce, has prepared tho following commandments for married men and women. If lived up to, she declares no divorce suits will be filed. The commandments read as follows: For Men 1. Thou shalt keep thy past life unto thyself. 2. Thou salt not scoff. 3. Thou salt be a careful kisser. 4. Remember that thou keep thy marriage vows. Six days shnlt thou vaguely dream of might-have-beens, but on the seventh wake. Remember Remem-ber thy wife to sing her praises. Give her freely of thy time and wit, for a dull husband is a discouragement to the Gods, and a clever one almost human. 5. Honor thy wife and all her bills. 6. Remember thy mother-in-law to keep her guessing, for a wise mother-in-law loveth a cheerful liar and a good excuse is better than none. 7. Thou shalt not steal a march into in-to thy club. 8. Thou shalt not toy with danger, though, verily, a live impulse has low domestic voltage boredom beaten to a frazzle. 9. Thou shalt choose thy brand of tobacco, likewise thy experience, according ac-cording to thine income. 10. Thou shalt be a man, dependable depend-able as thy best investment, thorough-bred as a racer, mellow as old wine, constant as thy club dues; then, of a surety, will favor cling to thee as lichen to an old oak. For Women 1. Thou shalt not nag. 2. Thou shalt keep thy temper to thyself. 3. Thou shalt not bore thy husband. hus-band. 4. Remember that thou keep unholy un-holy his many socks. Six days shalt thou frivol and do all the things that thou lovest to do, but on the seventh, think.. Remember his linen to see that it is spotless. Provide thou the extra stud for the emergency that will come, and watch lest the suit that hath been pressed is not returned return-ed to its accustomed nail, as it will be the one he asketh for. 5. Honor thy husband and let him do exactly as he please, that thy praise may be in the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee. G. Thou shalt not ask him any questions, neither in the morning nor at the noon-day hour, nor at night; for whatsoever a man wanteth thee to know, that will he tell hoc unsolicited, un-solicited, and a question is a hook that catcheth who knows what? 7. Thou shalt not complain; verily, a complaining woman is worse than a shoe that pincheth. 8. Thou shalt not steel thy heart against his hobbies. 9. Thou shalt obey him sometimes uncertainty hath its charms when minds are masculine. 10. Thou shalt be fresh and sweet, and dainty as a shower bouquet. For lingerie is more to be desired than rubies ,and a good cook above government gov-ernment bonds. |