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Show sne goes to tne store ann gets it, anu has it charged to her father. If there is one word in the dictionary she isn t familiar with, that word is retrenchment retrench-ment "Charles Augustus on the other hand, had hard sledding all through his boyhood. As a result of his experience ex-perience he has an exaggerated idea of the value of a kopeck. He is the sort of man who will walk eight miles through a thunderstorm rather than cough up carfare. Whenever he parts with a nickel he has to take a bromo-seltzer bromo-seltzer to steady his nerves. His reverence rev-erence for money increases every day, and it will keep on increasing as long as he lives. "Yet you, Mrs. Jamesworthy, in your feeble-minded matchmaking enthusiasm, enthusi-asm, would use your vote and influence influ-ence to Join these two people in the holy bonds. Just take Ihe advice of your ewaybacked husband, and let such people work out their own des tlnles, and everybody concerned will be happier." Uncle "Wall's MATCHMAKING UTVJOW that Miss Favorite is com-ing com-ing to spend a few days with us, I think I'll invite Charles Augustus Terwilliger to dinner," said Mrs. Jamesworthy. "I have always thought they were intended for each other, and they should be fl jfTw better ac- fvnw-Jk quainted." J "$ uever could -"x t understand why SM married women A v are always match-s match-s -(. big up . the young v I people of their ac- tsWJfc i qualntance," re-; re-; " -a v J marked James- iS?0- wortny- "Most ' K -wives insist at ; . S least to their hus-L hus-L N C. bands that mat-L mat-L J" rimony Is a pro- nounced failure. Every time you see an old maid you t"rn green with envy, and you havu told me a million times that a woman sacrifices her liberty and independence independ-ence the minute she inveigles a man i to the altar, and vows to love, cherish and protect him. You have said in my presence that the spinster Is the only woman who Is her own boss. "It doesn't take the ingenuity of a Sherlock Holmes to deduce from your remarks that you consider matrimony a total loss. Why, then, Mrs, James-'worthy, James-'worthy, are you forever trying to beguile be-guile your friends into that condition of misery? Of course, you can't explain; ex-plain; neither can any woman explain. Matchmaking just comes natural to all of you. "When I am looking for all kinds of plain and fancy trouble, I'll begin ; matching up the young men and women wom-en of my acquaintance. But not until I am suffering for an invoice of grief. I might persuade my friends to invest in a western silver mine, or buy patent ! rights in a revolving churn, but you'll j never see Elijah Jamesworthy boost-! boost-! ing matrimony in your indiscriminate I way. If two young people got married ; through your ring generalship, and they found that each had drawn a gold brick, they would hate you as long as they lived, and would always speak of you as an old busybody with a nose too long for legitimate purposes, and they'd make faces at you whenever you met them on the street. "Do you ever think of your responsibility respon-sibility when you try to boom the orange or-ange blossom market? Does It ever occur to you, at such times, that you are rushing in where angels fear to tread ? "Now, just consider Sarah Jane Favorite Fa-vorite and Charles Augustus Terwilliger, Terwil-liger, who will be railroaded to the ! altar if you have your way. I admit that they make a handsome pa'r. ' Sarah is a blonde with a pug nose, and Charles Augustus Is a brunette i with a nose like a Roman senator. ! They afford a pleasing contrast. But ! appearances count for little. Mrs. Jamesworthy, when the real busine?3 of married life cegin3. j "Sarah has basked in the lap of lux-! lux-! ury all her days, and she has the idea ; that money grows on vines like cu-: cu-: cumbers. I don't suppose she ever knew what it means to need fifty cents or a doliar. When she wants anything |