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Show Splendid shopping weather ge ready for Christmas! Beware of a meek-looking man o mulo. It may not last. Somo men smile In the face of ad Perslty, but they don't mean it. Perhaps a girl's red hair is for th purpose of keeping her temper warm Many a married man spend3 thi rest of his days wondering why h; did It. Most people manage to got stuck on themselves without the aid of any id heel ve. Compared with the Balkans affaii Mexico's war looks like the' comic opera kind. Sometimes a man tries to please his wife just the opposite way he would any other woman. The trouble with the man who says a smart thing 1s that he always books It for a return date. A southern aviator who jumped from a biplane proved that it cannot be successfully done. We may be sure that It ls a wise hen which eats a cement floor in order or-der to lay hard-shelled eggs. The discovery that typhoid fever ls carried also by bugs and roaches adds a few more things to be swatted. Eloping ln an aeroplane accomplishes accomplish-es the seemingly impossible by increasing in-creasing the hazard of matrimony. That the stingless bee is the precursor pre-cursor of the singless mosquito ls the earnest prayer of New Jersey people. November has no hay fever, no Christmas rush, and no spring freshets. fresh-ets. Yet very few poets sing its ..... pvulse. ' New York's barroom for women Is variously considered. Some Innocent Inno-cent observers are envious and soma are not. About the only thing that can be V Mid for the eclipse of the moon is that ! one may watch it and smoke at the same time. I ' A Texas woman left $100,000 for the Bupport of old maids. But how are they going to be convicted of being old maids? Nobody denies that automobiles are becoming cheaper, but then one can-rjpj can-rjpj eat even the costliest cuts of an automobile. . That man who pleads for anesthetics anesthet-ics for rats would probably want chlo-- chlo-- reform administered to the fly befora Bwatting him. r- A story from Chicago says there are calves there worth $5,000. That's nothing; noth-ing; there are calves on Fifth avenua, - Now York, worth $5,000,000. The dictates of fashion has put the ban upon switches and puffs. We will soon know what our best girl really looks like without her disguise. There are some things we do not understand. One of them is the mad and almost universal desire to chaage the color of a meerschaum pipe. A Los Angeles youngster stood on his head on the top of skyscraper to "test his nerve." He was arrested tor shattering the nerves of passere- A taxlcab In Athens, according to an exchange, ls called a polipolytan-toclnetharmoxaxe. polipolytan-toclnetharmoxaxe. That's what a taxi chauffeur ls called ln this country when he presents his bill. Milk makes an excellent tonic U r the hair, according to the prima donnjj - who discovered the $15,000 lump of " ambergls. Those press agents dp have to work hard for their money. . ,' Beef Is probably going higher, bet rabbits will soon be on the markex. At the same time they will not b widely popular until someone invent a device to dig 6hot out of the teetl A playful person threw a melon Inti a passing taxlcab in Brooklyn the other oth-er night. Many an actor along thd great white way is praying that masons mas-ons do not become popular substitutes for hen fruit America's oldest doctor says modem y physicians are not much better on cures than the healer of a half ceii- ' t . 'tirv ago. But the old fashioned doo-" doo-" 1 "'1 the ailments ajii fa All- yiarmet a fil at Price. Vrt a 'llght-Jd 'llght-Jd to the 5y was badly Jj. The |