Show 1 r f. f f hi Little Known Stories About Well Well Known People of Dimes cam campaign The current March delightful story recalls a pork A New about a grand lady smother a s merchant once approached and offered to mother at a banquet contribute to the Warm Springs for a would Foundation If she pose Sarah with his other mother picture Roosevelt replied she would be will will- even if he didn't lag con con- pose tribute any money The mer- mer chant then said he would give 1000 1000 he added Ill And now now here She la is mother over bring my thrill be the biggest 92 and this will in her life In that case said the 84 year 84 year to her her- old Mrs Roosevelt Ill go Im I'm younger for an editor While working as several leading magazines Theodore Theo Theo- Theodore dore Dreiser wrote a fabulous amount of wonderful short stories poems plays essays social studies and novels Including American American Amer Amer- An his most famous work ican Tragedy In 27 he visited of the the Soviet Union as a guest government When he stopped In England on his way back Mr Churchill asked him Well what do you think of Russia I told him Dreiser said to Bob van Gelder that I thought it was wasa a wonderful country a wonderful system Nonsense Churchill said it wont won't last seven years Decades ago Clarence Darrow the famed lawyer was the principal speaker at a womans woman's club After his address he found himself In conversation conversation con con- with a few ladies ladles who Insisted insisted in In- on discussing birth control Mr 1 Darrow said one what do you think of birth control for the masses My dear lady replied the famous famous famous fa fa- fa- fa man whenever I hear people discussing birth control I always remember that I was the fifth The late George Norris made a speech in which he pointed out that mankind's scientific and mechanical progress hasn't prevented the barbarism barbarism barbarism bar bar- of war We have wars said Norris because the human race has learned how to improve everything except everything except people Neatest comment on Eisenhower's ers er's outline of demobilization plans came from one of the boys on the GI Liber Liberation tion Committee in Paris Gen Ike had told Congress When you see firemen playing checkers in the firehouse you dont don't send them home because theres there's nothing to do And its it's the same In Germany The soldiers may be sitting around with nothing to do or do-or or so they think But their presence there is very sary so s said id the soldier I who'd been told five times of a sailing sailIng sailing sail- sail Ing date only to have it changed I but even a fireman gets disgusted disgust disgust- ed when ed-when when there are nothing but false alarms This is a Mark Twain tale we haven't come across before When Mark was at the height of his career he Informed a friend It took me ten years to discover that I had no talent for writing And you gave it up Oh not nol By that time I was too famous I r rAs As long as were we're on puns adds Frank Cases Case's son Carroll the winI winner winner win win- I ner Der and still champion is old Samuel Samuel Samuel Sam Sam- uel Johnson who was approached by a would-be would wit in the Mermaid Tavern the Algonquin of of its day The wag said Now admit It Sam the only reason you dont don't like puns is that you cant can't make them To which Johnson punned Sir if U I were punished pun for every pun I shed Id I'd have no puny shed in Jn which to rest this punish head That t reminds us of our pet pun A pun someone said Is the lowest form of wit pun m my y soul it II IS Quotation Marksmanship Dorothy Doro Dora thy Dix Drying a widows widow's tears Is one of the most dangerous OCcupations occupations known to man Geo S S. S Perry Tugboats shooting the air full of sharp white toots Paul Ernst L Looking crisp and cool as though she had slept on mint leaves F F. F E E. E Jones Impatient soldiers overseas waiting for Ben Grauer He rode to the bottom bottom bot bot- tom on way one-way Jack Marshall Hes He's a patriot with with the accent on the riot Thoreau I would not talk so much about myself my- my sell self it if there were anybody else whom I knew so well LaRoche- LaRoche foucauld In their first passion women love their lovers In all others oth oth- ers era they love love When Winston Churchill debarked from the Queen Elizabeth In N N. Y recently a reporter asked wh why he be wasn't going to defend British policy policy pol- pol icy cy In Palestine at the Gard Gardens Garden's en s That We May Live rally Im only going to vacation he here two months he be replied The reporter observed that U U. U S S. S nm politicos are arc most lucky to vaca vaca- lion tion one month Churchill Churchil bi hit bit t into his cigar and quipped If If i were a ter politician Id I'd still stU be be Prime MI Na |